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Monday, July 15, 2019

Dramatic Weekend

12:26 p.m. I had a mostly dramatic weekend, that can probably be summed up like this:


Basically, there was a lot of butting heads.

Dad and Anna learned I had Secondlife money, which at first I was gonna use to replace the breaking laptop I'd given Aaliyah. I decided against it. Then a bit later, I had realized that my appointment (mandatory to keep food stamps) is on a Tuesday, which neither Dad nor Anna could take me to. My phone bill is lapsed, so right now I have no phone to call out to people.

I initially refused to call to change the appointment, wrongfully believing they wouldn't. When I realized I could, I asked Dad if I could borrow his phone on Monday (today) to make the call to change the appointment. He said no, I need to cash in my Secondlife funds and turn my phone on myself, and do it then.

Cashing in Secondlife funds is a process. It takes days. If I cash it in on a weekend, which I did, I could usually expect it around late on Monday. However, I'd need to have the money in my bank AND go through the process of getting my phone turned back on, all before being able to call the call center in their business hours with Monday being the deadline to call them...even in the chance my call could go straight to a voicemail sometimes anyway.

So that was a big argument. After some crying and venting, I sucked it up and cashed out the funds, which was on a late Saturday, by now. Because anyone I vented to was of the agreed consensus that I should pay for it myself, because that's part of being an adult. I can definitely see that.

However, due to the time crunch, I 'really' needed to borrow Dad's phone, to ensure I could make this call to change the appointment and get it over with.

He finally relented and agreed. That 'should' have been the end of it.

Then Anna and I got into it on another matter. There seems to be a misunderstanding that SL makes a decent amount of money. Over a long period, yes. Over short periods, no. Basically she was upset at me for sitting on this money, instead of using it to buy necessities, which up until now she'd been buying for me. I had basically read it in the sense that doing this made me selfish and a financial burden to her because they aren't doing so well right now.

And I made kind of the harsh reply that if I'm being a financial burden, I needed to leave.

Here's the thing. On top of the fact that SL doesn't make me a lot of money in a short time, every time I cash out, there is an average of a three dollar fee. The more often I cash out, the more money I lose, the less money I have in the end that I earned. She..doesn't know this and though I explained it to Dad, I never got around to explaining it to her.

Anyway, after all this arguing, I took a long walk in a cemetary up the road and just let myself cry from all this stress and exhaustion. I didn't want to stay and keep arguing. I prayed, which helped. Came back and sat on the back steps and threw around the crazy idea of just waiting for a day when no one was home, packing a bag, and disappearing, And then I quietly returned. After which I talked to Dad about the fight her and I had.

I expected she'd come home [she'd been out grocery shopping] angry, she didn't come back until a long while after, but she didn't. Everything seemed strangely fine. We did, civilly, talk it out in the kitchen later, during which I apologize for my attitude.

I've been under a crazy amount of stress since the move. The bulk of it being around anything that had to do with food stamps, in hindsight, which, by the way, after over two weeks they still haven't sent my card.

Sunday went okay. Not much to tell there. FIVE14. Took the day off. Anna had another night of going through her life's story, lol.

And by Monday, Dad was took sick to go to work, so he was here, with his phone. Turns out they can't move appointments to Wednesdays or Fridays, which would work for Dad and Anna, so we have to go today, being there around 2:30 p.m.

I don't know how long it's gonna take or what it's gonna consist of. I just know it's mandatory. Thank God we can get this over with, at least for now. I'll have to do another one if I can't find a job. And this is all for food stamps I can't even touch yet, to date.

I never heard back from that Winn Dixie job, so I am still yet unemployed. Thinking of calling back Dollar Tree and see if my application 'finally' came in.

P.S. It seems DJ, Mom, and Maranda really enjoyed their trip and are coming back today. <3

Friday, July 12, 2019

Average Start.

10:34 a.m. No bad thoughts last night. Only confusing lucid ones...which can only be described as thinking that kept my brain in an almost frustrated confused state for unknown reasons over indistinct trains of thought. Indistinct to recall, in kind of the same way where one forgets a dream.



Day has gone normal. I felt like I had slept in even though I woke up initially before 8 a.m. ish. Got some Secondlife meshes textured, walked the dogs, and now taking a nice computer break to knock things off the to-do list for today.

9:23 p.m. Few things:

  • Got some money for the flea market tomorrow morning. Hopefully I'll bring home some more 90's McDonalds happy meal Barbies, and then some, for my collection. 
Can't 'really' explain entirely why...but this particular one is the 'coup de gras'
of my search for additions to my collection. A personal favorite
and ultra ultra cute!
  • Finished up my bathroom gacha. Got a couple more to go and then some. :) Glad that goal's done.
  • Downloaded some new songs. Sia's gospel rendition of Elastic Heart is my new favorite, and also got some new live vocals of Tyler Joseph.
  • Watching Lucifer with Anna, but not really paying much attention to it. Or trying not to. It's not really gonna be my fave kinda show, for 'obvious' reasons.
  • Had too much chocolate today, and too overactive of a bladder. :/
  • Phone's being cut off. Will only be able to receive calls shortly.
10:23 p.m. Late night youtube marathon of my watch later list in the living room. Alone. I'm strangely ecstatic. :D ^_^ Had a big snack of leftovers. lol. Eep.


Thursday, July 11, 2019

New Things

1:40 p.m. Today kinda got a late start as far as getting tasks done. I stayed up late last night (9-10 p.m. ish 1 a.m.) doing a facial skin, all except the ears, and the whole morning finishing it. I woke up around 9 a.m. and finished it sometime around 1 p.m. Had lunch.

I still have to make a bunch of HUDs, for both skins and makeup, before I stick them in a gacha like planned. But there's much to get done (as far as routine goes) and it'll have to wait another day, me thinks. I'm a little burned out after making the skin and to boot, there was an error where in the corner on the mesh head, there was just a 'little' too much lip. And they don't let me preview before uploading for the mesh head thing so..that has to be handled.

I also want to make a gacha from a previous set of disney-inspired dresses I originally made for the marketplace, only to take them down for fear of getting flagged. :/ Gachas seem to be agreeable though. That also may take quite a bit of work, considering how many dresses there are.

AND I've been working on a gacha for a bathroom set.

So yeah, a lot going on, and I should take it easy before I over-extend myself, me thinks. I just feel like saying 'me thinks' today. Lol.

The girls asked if they could come over again this weekend, and as much as I'd 'love' to have them back, we don't have the extra money for extra food, especially considering the extremely high electric bill we got back yesterday. Eep. :/

4:41 p.m. Well, for once, I'm updating more than one time per day. It's been a cold, boring, quiet kind of day. Working on my bathroom gacha and got the disney-inspired dress gacha up and ready.

I guess I may have worried too much about doing 'so' much Secondlife, that I wasn't going to get my task list done, because it did get done...with a lot of time to spare.

The mail isn't here YET. It tends to arrive 'really' late, so there's no telling if today's the day I get my food stamp card or not.

I seriously need a longer SL break before I really do burn myself out on these gacha projects. 17 down, 33 to go. Eep. And awesome at the same time.

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Another Short Entry.

1:59 p.m. Finally finished Stranger Things 3 last night with Anna. Made me almost wanna cry, lol. We had a junk food night. Pizza, hot wings, and granola chocolate bars.

And this morning Dad had a Reese's for me in the fridge, which was nice.


Been doing a 'lot' of Second life creating today, but the task list has been getting taken care of nonetheless. Welcomed Pumba on DMK.

Called Winn Dixie about the job update. They're still doing interviews, and then he'll be calling people to let them know who made it and who didn't sometime around the end of the week. At least it shows I want the job, so that helps. And if it's not meant to be, at least I tried my best. God's plans are what He wills.

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Decent Morning

9:46 a.m. Had a decent morning, and finished up some gachas yesterday. I caught up on that sermon after all in a second video they uploaded. Got some chores done. Dad came home early due to bad weather and Anna and I caught up on one more episode of Stranger Things.

The battle between my internet connection and using Secondlife wages on, especially today. I'm totally convinced they're connected cause...my connection can run fine and dandy but it seems as if as soon as I start running Secondlife, my wifi moves to near-dying or dead. -_- Idk.

Which is a shame cause I was really looking forward to starting a new project today, but it may be about a hundred times harder than it needs to be due to this issue. -_-

It used to be one fix I had for this problem was simply change rooms and be closer to the router, however, believe it or not, due to my new living situation...this is not a realistic solution. On account of the fact that they, themselves, had moved in just before I could and still have a lot to unpack..and are STILL out. of. room.

Besides, some part of me feels awkward having my desk right there where they can see what I'm doing instead of the hidden quiet of my room. :P Get asked questions a lot more..while working..ya know? :P

Sigh.

Total mood.

Anyway! Waiting on the job call today. If it doesn't happen today, I can call back tomorrow and see what's up. If it's what God has planned for me, it'll happen. If not, I'm chill. Other doors can open. :)

All Glory, Praise, Thanks and all things be to almighty God on the highest forever and ever in Jesus name, amen. God is able to do above all we ask or think!

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