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Monday, April 8, 2019

Willfullness to Change.

3:31 p.m. So today, I'm making the conscious decision to follow God fully and completely, and getting rid of the things holding me back.

For me, it'd be some of the things on my Secondlife store, for one thing. Which I'm okay with. People retire items on there all the time and I could certainly benefit, too. I mean, come on, there's like 2000 products on there. :P That's a bit of work to sort out.

Getting rid of some of my music...some of which I'm not supposed to have.

Um...I like DMK. I just need to stop devoting so much time and money to it. For sure. Especially money. It's gonna turn into a needless money pit, if I don't change something, soon.

Um..there's probably other stuff, too. I'll get there. Social media related, that I could do without.

Increase my giving. Invest in the kingdom, if you will.

The idea being to put behind things that worldly, that don't belong to God, and move forward with and in Him. Because I say I trust Him with my heart and my circumstances, and I want to show that, too. God's always come through for me. In everything. Always.

There's no telling how much time I'm given on earth to get right with God, so this isn't something that should be put on hold, ya know?

This is all part of my walk with Him. Changing, into and for, Him. I totally get it, whether or not someone else does.

I've been really motivated by a few sermons, lately.

God brings immense joy into my life. Peace and clarity. Love and mercy. He helps me be my best self. So yeah, I want to do things that put more of that in my life, for longer times. :p Instead of just giving God only a small part of my time, make my time worth it.

The things I want to let go..I..may..I imagine..feel hesitant while I do it. It's a trial. It doesn't mean I have to let this hesitation stop me, just..it happens. I believe that even if for a short period it'll 'feel' like I miss it, or I'll be tempted to miss it, I eventually won't. Like hopefully, 'short term' eventually, but, that I can realize I'm better off without. I can give up what needs to be given up because God has something better in store for me and my life.

It's the point God's brought me to. And He's been more than patient and longsuffering with me, and still is. I pray God has mercy on my soul, in Jesus name, Amen.

P.S. I'm not gonna turn crazy. I'm sure. :P I'm just ready to move my life in this positive direction, because I'm already getting a small taste the past couple days and nights of how it'll affect me and I want more, and to keep going. Keep fighting the good fight of faith. Why should I want anything else that can't give me this?

My head is clearer. I'm clearer. Happier. I feel like I'm finally redirecting to a purpose in my life instead of just meaningless wandering from one task to the next, every day. Oi.

I'm not perfect, by the way. Just...trying my best.

I also hope I'll be drawing more. Cause I like it. :)

So yeah. If I could describe myself right now with one word, it'd be peace. I have a total sense of peace.

I keep wanting to say clarity, also, though. Cause it's true. As far as my head goes, it's pretty quiet up there. And I like it. I'm calm, safe, full of positive prospects. Motivated. Saved.

All thanks be to God in Jesus name, Amen! God is able to do abundantly above all we ask or think!

So, also the plan is to take these things I plan on getting rid of and replace them with things I'm already enjoying doing these days, that are inclusive of my walk with God.

Um..don't worry. As I tell myself.

  • Exercise.
  • Drawing. Art, in general.
  • Meditation. Prayer. Like, the way I've chosen to go about it anyway. Lying in bed, totally relaxed, listening to music..or not..praying. Just journeying the worlds in my mind. Just gotta make sure that it's not all about me in that sense, and to keep Him in it.
  • Journaling. Blogging. Addressing my issues. Keeping myself in check. I also do this with freewriting.
  • Reading my Bible, obviously. :) I like to do it daily anyway, multiple times a day just randomly open it up and read a passage. I find it works well. Cause sometimes there'd be periods where I would keep 'randomly' opening up to the same section time and time again in a row.
  • Church. For now, just streaming the Five14 one, cause that's the one I want to be apart of. If God ever sends me to Ohio, then I'd love to attend in person. :P
  • Tithes. 
I'm hoping to come up with more things soon, obviously.

Another thing was recently I had been reading a certain passage in the Bible. The one where Jesus was talking to the Father before the appointed time was to come. And either the next day or day after, I was doing freewriting and this chapter (which mind you, I'm sorry to say I'm not great at remembering those after I read them) came up: John 7:17

I keep rewriting it, not knowing which scripture that even pointed to. Although, I was curious. So, I googled it. :P And was amazed to find it was part of the passage I'd recently read. 

Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. John 17:7

So that was awesome. :) Really felt like God was reaching out to me, there.

6I have revealed Your name to those You have given Me out of the world. They were Yours; You gave them to Me, and they have kept Your word. 7Now they know that everything You have given Me comes from You. 8For I have given them the words You gave Me, and they have received them. They knew with certainty that I came from You, and they believed that You sent Me.…

So yeah. That's a thing. :P

4:13 p.m. Going through my past entries and I have one way to describe it. What. A. Week! Like, almost intense even how much changes I've been going through in only a week. Praise and thank the Lord, in Jesus name. Amen! God is able!

6:52 p.m. Put up my clean clothes. Ate some food. Boiled peanuts and mini oranges. And I watched a lovely sermon. Then took some time to get a drawing in. An attempted self portrait that didn't quite come out looking like me. I'm a little rusty, sometimes. Lol. 

Very happy with today. Very much glad it was not wasted by sitting almost the whole time at the computer, which was nice for a change.

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All Glory, Praise, Thanks and all things be to almighty God on the highest forever and ever in Jesus name, amen. God is able to do above all we ask or think!

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