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Saturday, April 6, 2019

New Day. New Start.

12:42 p.m. Hoping to make meditation at night a regular thing. It goes great, just now often times I get sidetracked cause maybe I just can't stay serious too long. I amuse myself.

It definitely beats the dark alternative.


On that level, I took some advice April once gave me. I'm gonna try to explain this from the start.

I have certain specific worlds I've built up in my mind that I constantly revisit. And in this case, one I made as a backdrop for most of my daydreams. My little stories.

This particular one is just an ordinary apartment. It's very specifically setup, and after touring it more in depth last night, I've found some of its aspects are based off of aspects family friends or relatives houses shared that I knew in the past.

The layout of the apartment itself is based off one my aunt had back in my childhood, and I would definitely say it's my dream apartment. It's nothing fancy.

Two bedrooms (master has an en suite bathroom and walk-in closet), two bathrooms in total, a guest room, kitchen with an island and walk-in pantry, hallway, big living room with mainly just a couch, desk, and big tv. As well as a balcony area, typical of one you'd see in an average apartment. Bland tan carpeting and the guest bedroom have hardwood floors. Tile bathrooms/kitchen, of course.

I'm seriously considering building this on Sims though. Maybe even find a way to share it here? Idk.

Anyway....

The daydreams I made in this world were not always so pleasant. Harmful, even. Long drawn-out stories filled with a whole interweaving of badness and some heavy drama. It was getting to the point where I couldn't even think of the place without imagining the harmful things that happened there in this spot, or that particular spot in the apartment.

So, April's advice was simple. Take a negative, turn it to a positive. I did, and I loved it. I basically put on music, walked around the place and filled it with white confetti. (Weird, I know) And kicked in doors as I went, cause for some reason doing that always amused me. (Also, strange) It all felt so much better.

This also meant that from now on I'd need to make sure I'd keep from letting the bad thoughts happen in this space, or at all really, so I'm gonna try. God willing.

So yeah, that happened. :))) I think I'll be visiting it more often, now. In a good way.


I got cramps going on today. -_- Mild for the moment. And only moments after April went to sleep with her toothache, one kicked in out of nowhere for me as well. And. It. Hurt! I swigged some mouthwash made for sensitive teeth and it seems to have helped. I WAS eating boiled peanuts this morning, but now I don't feel so much like eating, right now.

Something fun just crossed my mind. Why not...build it in Secondlife? I got the supplies. I got the funds saved up for texturing, more than enough (even at only twenty-something dollars worth of currency, that's 'earned' by the way, not bought with RL cash) That...sounds fun. :D And would be much easier to record if/when finished cause Sims doesn't cooperate with saved screencaptures for some reason.

7:28 p.m. Due to harsh period cramps, I spent the day sleeping. At least it was REM sleep. lol.

8:30 p.m. Tried to complete that apartment floor plan in Secondlife and mostly got it done, but cramps and nausea have hit, so I need to put that away for now. :( And take more medicine...and sleep. Again. My body/health is really taking some hits today, lemme' tell ya.

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