Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Hm...Long Post. Again.

12:10 p.m. Well, my day isn't starting out with a whole lot of direction. I don't have a major Secondlife project to continue, like with the skyboxes. I do have some chores...maybe that's something?

I stayed up so late until early morning that the sleepy HEADACHE kicked in. And then I slept until just recently. I'm getting more anxious than I should about this concert thing. I can't buy tickets until tomorrow, or maybe even the day after tomorrow and there's no telling if the few useful seats I'll be looking at will be there by then. I'll be nonetheless thankful just to go, in the same token, so I should just follow my own advice and stop worrying.

Hm....maybe I should make a list of potential projects? I certainly wouldn't mind it.

Speaking of: I'm still super blessed and thankful to God I updated my blurb yesterday. x.x And successfully. Cause previously it had been only updated to February 11. I've made it to one full year and beyond on that journal, so praise and thank God for that.

Okay, here goes my project ideas:
  • Make that snippet of the song I heard last week in my dreams. 

The one that, at this time, doesn't currently exist.

'Sugar, sugar/tastes so sweet/Try'na knock me off my feet/Your sugar leaves me breathless/your sugar leaves me breathless.'

Relatively short, but the trick will be altering my voice, which is very different from the one singing this small snippet, to sound the way I heard it in my dream. Very bubblegum pop, would be the word I'd use. At least it was a female vocal.

  • Continue my gacha project.
Since my store renovation on Secondlife, I've tossed around doing the idea of as many as 40 gachas. At the moment I can only fit about 10 on my virtual land (but I plan on re-renovating for better space anyway, seeing as I impulse bought in the first place, a virtual building I fell in love with.) And I think about four of those gachas are already done.

Incoming Secondlife lingo: My advents are done and set for December. Caspervend redeliveries, in the hundreds, are already taken care of. So those are some major projects already behind me, praise and thank the Lord.

  • Chores.
I have a daily task list I made last week. I was on it...for some days. And then slowly fell off of it. It'd be great to get back on the horse with it and regain household productivity. (What use is it do slog in front of the computer desperately seeking one thing to another to do on the thing.)

  • Exercise.
It'd honestly be more motivating if my bike were in working condition. But the tire, which didn't properly fit in the first place (though I'm no less thankful to Mom for trying, in the first place) is flat. And funnily enough, I had a weird dream about trying to seek out a new bike tire. I REALLY need to take a picture of the size I need. x.x

I mean, I know I could walk, but biking is so much easier and more fun for me, believe it or not. And I suppose it doesn't help things that my diet hasn't exactly improved in the past few months.

Can I just stop a sec and admit how fun it is for me to be typing this right now? To not only make what would ordinarily be a goal list, but adding explainers in this fashion? Let's continue.

  • Writing
Oh, if only I had a plot I cared about continuing. My google drive is chocked full of unfinished stories. Which honestly deep down, I'm pondering just making a blog to release them to the public domain, with full, total, and complete rights to the works, and let someone else take over it. x.x 

That actually sounds like an amazing idea.

Because they aren't the ones I've gotten passionate about, like The Dream Doctor (for all its terrible editing and cheesy writing) and The Life The Deserved which I've yet to finish full editing. And not fully motivated to do so.

I'm kinda wanting my next big thing. That next big story that I'll just be SO into it, that...what's that? I'll actually FINISH it!

And I know. I know. I shouldn't just avoid writing if I know I won't finish the story. But that seems to be the case. That, and I don't know what I actually want to write about. I wanted a story about my dreams. It happened. I wanted my own medieval fairy tale. It's written. So what's the next big thing?

I pondered the idea of a 'celebrity character' based story, or even having to do with reality tv. Cause my brain goes there a lot these days, and I have written a story or two like that. But it didn't stick. I don't know. We'll see. It becomes more and more awkward to call myself a writer, when at the moment I'm not actually 'writing.'

  • Make a blog for public domain distribution of my unfinished stories.
Adding it to my list, because I really love that idea. <3

  • Practice drawing on a daily basis.
This goal is pretty low on the totem pole or priorities. I'm an artist, I know. But at the moment, I'm not hugely excited with the idea of drawing.

  • New Secondlife creations.
Listing for the sake of listing, but also a task low on the priority list and I'm less than excited by.

To recap so far:
  • Dream song snippet.
  • Gacha project.
  • Chores.
  • Exercise.
  • Writing.
  • New Blog for Public Domain Distribution.
  • Practice Drawing.
  • New Secondlife Creations.
All this, and the main thing that's missing is my willpower. Which doesn't do me a whole lot of good.

I'm kinda happy to be sitting here blogging though, so there's a plus. Even though at this point, I'm kind of becoming a downer.

I've been making a lot of projects over the past couple years and they've gotten knocked down and done most of the time. And don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to God for that. But, I do carry the realization that living from one goal to the next isn't really what's best for my life...maybe? Maybe it depends on the goal. I don't know.

I'm kinda lacking direction. God is in all that I do, and that's my belief. I'll say that. But not waking up and knowing exactly how I want to spend my day, a thing I generally enjoy doing, has not been happening a lot. So I'm spending my day either doing nothing or coasting from one minor task to the next until the day ends.

You might say I've backed myself into a bit of a rut.

Serve the Lord. 

My heart urges me. And I feel like I do, in my own kinda way. Especially with the praising and thanking of God and got my Gospel message sitting in full view in the taskbar.

I know I'm supposed to be going out and talking to people about it, but you know...that involves actually talking to people. And that's what God wants for my life. 

And I am pretty stuck and dug into my belief that I'm just not the social type, not am I confident I want to be. Not that I don't like people. I'm just not big into making conversations with people I don't know. Much of the time. I'm just being kinda in the comfort zone here....which isn't always the best thing...?


God loves me. He cares for me. May He have mercy on my soul. Amen, in Jesus name.

There. I was thinking it every time I went on about me lacking direction for my life, and I wrote it. Said and done. :P God bless us, every one. Mwuah!

Final note for the moment. I would love some boiled peanuts. I'm leaving the hot dogs and bread for the roomies, but I've had my fill on the ramen on a daily basis for the moment. x.x

12:58 p.m. So, the big winner today seems to be writing. Even just writing this blog, I want to be sitting here on my little Chromebook and writing.

I'm also considering adding my wild collection of GIFs to my Google Drive, even though I'm kinda overly protective of what I stick in there. O.O I like using the least space I can, clearly. It's chocked full of those unfinished writings I mused about earlier.

*fusses for a bit to get Gyazo to work properly on my Chromebook.*

>.< There doesn't SEEM to be any overidentifying information I need to crop out, so that helps.

1:17 p.m. Well, okay. Boiled peanuts are not happening. I'll live. April's having one of her days. -_- Depression is a kicker.

Currently hanging out in Rob's room with Rob, Dawn, and April. And a cat named Minxy. :P

Randomly decided to surf adsense and analytics. The conclusion is that this is one little obscure blog in the web universe that doesn't really need adsense with as small as audience as I have. lol. Partially why I decided to re-introduce GIF reactions to my blog. *.*

1:41 p.m. I got over 700 GIFS uploading to my Google Photos, since it seems like my new thing is to be blogging on my lightweight and fun Chromebook and I want easy access to my reaction GIFS.

2:03 p.m. Peanuts achieved. Shows how much I know. :P Thank you, God. And April. :P

2:41 p.m. Well, that was done. A lot of calories, to be sure. And took almost 40 minutes to finish. Sweet tea is a nice accompany-ment...or whatever the word is. Watching Youtube. RN just another twetyonepilots themed video, and still pumped up for the POSSIBILITY of the concert in June. I say possibility, cause nobody knows what God really has planned. So it's a happy wishful thinking.  :P

My GIFS are uploaded to Google photos, and I'm kinda It actually dated the photos of when I saved them, which I wasn't expecting...and I kinda like it. :)))

I've been using the triple-smile emoticon a lot, lately. You can probably guess whether my entry was written on my iPod or my Chromebook, come to think of it, because the iPod one will be chocked full of emojis, whereas the Chromebook one would have smilies. :))) Such as.

Um...I'm REALLY in a journal-writing mood, today. :P Even added to my free-writing one a bit last night, to my great satisfaction.

5:12 p.m. While I'm surfing through my GIFS, for now all in one collective google folder, mind you, I love that it's actually seemingly dancing to twentyonepilots. Yes, some GIFS I have involve dancing.

Such as.

Concert hype feels. :P

3:00 p.m. I needed to get off google photos before I go GIF spamming. :P

3:33 p.m. The question is bared just how much useless repetitive internet things I can do before I actually get up and decide to do something useful. *has to get used to hitting 'alt + click' on Chromebook to right-click things* especially when it comes to correcting typos, lol.

5:01 p.m. Talk about overdoing things...though in this sense, it's in a good way. I decided to get my laundry folded and hung, which I did. Also drying my white rug the cats pooped and peed on. >.> After a nice bleaching.

And my bed, which has been on a nearly broken leg for a long time now and had countless efforts to just keep it together, only to come loose again.

This time, I couldn't put it together again. So I had to rip and screw it apart. I took off the front and back end. All apart.

The room is tiny with a tiny corner to the hallway, so taking it outside in one piece wasn't an option. I kept the bottom part of the bed frame, propped up on risers (Thank God for those, tiny space for storage, but still useful and better than none at all) and the rest is ditched.

I need to drag it to the fire pit, but I'm exhausted and sweaty at the moment.

It was hard and awkward, but it finished. O.O Thank. God. Praise. The. Lord! Like, seriously.

And as a bonus, my bed is the better for it. No more wobbling. For now. My bedside fan reaches me SOOOO much better! After all that hard work, it felt amazing to just lay there.

I want to take a picture...but not right now. If at all. I don't know, lol. This was hard work, but at the same time added a little something interesting to my day. So, I'm grateful for that.

P.S. Rob's room is connected to mine, separated by a wall. I only wish doing all this quietly was possible.

And most of my stuff that used to be stored under the bed is now 'kinda' neatly piled under my desk in the corner of the room, including two strange bags of cotton stuffing. O.o

And stuff I bought to 'life hack' replace the pen tablet of my nibs to a wacom tablet I now almost never use because it's so jittery and laggy. :/ No less thankful for it though, don't get me wrong. Getting kinda off topic.

I did enjoy what I made with it at the time

5:24 p.m. So it's back to the digital life, I guess? Surfing social media? I don't know. :P Watching Supernatural vintage episodes. Now on season 4 with Castiel's introductory episodes. :)))

 5:49 p.m. So. I just had two Jimmy Dean sandwiches and decided to come chill out in my room. Fun thing about blogging is sometimes I can actually tell how long ago it was I actually ate. I'll be honest though, that wasn't so much hunger eating *rubs sudden eye sting from allergies* as it was boredom. Which, is not a good thing. I need to get on board with life. And fast. >.> Just sayin.'

P.S. Another day where I'm still more mentally stable than my episodes weeks ago. So it's a nice victory.

9:39 p.m. I slipped...and I'll be okay. I tried to go to sleep but not with huge success. The cats have taken over my bed lately since my curtain fell down and they get a nice outside view to sleep with. Me, I have my eye mask. *.* also, the roomies made me baked potatoes to eat. Later!

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