A Daily Diary: It Feels Like Longer Than 10 Days.

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Saturday, November 17, 2018

It Feels Like Longer Than 10 Days.

2:21 p.m. I can’t believe it’s only been 10 days since the last entry. The highlights:
  1. Depression. Been in a mental downhill of late. Lost sleep quite a bit. Been interfering with life’s progress.
  2. Still kinda eating healthy but my eating schedule is not totally healthy.
  3. Bank is dealt with and I could only get talked down to a smaller fee on a basic plan. 
  4. My hard drive is dying. Running a chkdsk right now.
  5. Been out to Dawn’s quite a few times this past week.
  6. Mom gave me 20 for “whatever”
  7. I’d been pretty needy lately with trying to get help getting on therapy (more on that later) and the getting the bank situation sorted, arranging a ride to Dads for Thanksgiving weekend, trying to get stuff to wrap Christmas presents,  (which I plan to do today, God Willing) control bad spending habits.
April agreed to be my ride for Dad’s and she wanted me to ask Mom for gas but, I really couldn’t bring myself to do it since I’d been bringing her so many problems lately. 😕

She still agreed to help, Praise and thank the Lord for that, but yeah. That’s worth mentioning. 

  1. As for therapy, I needed proof of income. SS office wouldn’t do it due to a policy change, except give me a paper that ‘acknowledges’ I’m seeking proof of income. Though not sure who we’re supposed to give that to, cause I doubt the therapy office will take it. 
  2. God’s been with me since things have been spiraling down in my head, all the way. The other stuff isn’t nearly as stressful as the mental harm I’ve been causing myself lately..which leads to depression..which leads to a derailing in productivity. I don’t even think I updated my blog since last month. :(
So yeah, it’s been hard. Last night was the worse it ever got, right after thinking it was finally getting better. 

Thank God..for God. 😂 He’s been the ease to my burdens every time I manage to let myself finally come out of that dreadful pit I dig myself into. For real. 🙏 His love and mercy truly moves and sustains me through good and bad times, especially with the forgiveness of my sins through Jesus Christ.
  1. I drew a picture of my neopet, pixelized, for another future beauty contest entry. ❤️🤗
  2. It doesn’t feel like ten days. It feels like I haven’t written an entry in a month. And a few of those days kinda went to waste because all I wanted to do was little more than keep to my bed and deal with this problem, or worse, suffer it again. I ‘really’ need help. Like, it’s getting bad and only getting worse. 😕 I wish there was better news.
  3. Tried a new dating app. Bumble. It was fun for like the first day, but as usual no real progress in the dating world. 
  4. As for my dying hard drive, I REALLY need to back stuff up on it soon. And..I’m so hugely tempted to just do a ‘factory restore’ down to just the basic windows and see if that fixes it...but...there’s the Disney Magic Kingdoms game.
I’ve invested almost 40 dollars in the game (which is a lot of money for a game to me, most I’ve ever spent on one) and if I do a reset, all my game progress is lost. 

And from what I’m seeing from other people the customer service on getting it back looks iffy. 🙁 So yeah, that’s a conundrum in itself.

So yeah, that’s the update so far, not a great week but hoping for much better times. I’m expecting a little SL cash to help me out a little come Monday, so I’m happy about that. :)

8:18 p.m. Got Christmas stuff and watching vintage Buffy episodes before bed. 😂

All Glory, Praise, Thanks and all things be to almighty God on the highest forever and ever in Jesus name, amen. God is able to do above all we ask or think!

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