A Daily Diary: Keeping My Morale. God Willing.

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Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Keeping My Morale. God Willing.


9:49 a.m. My urinary tract is not my friend, today. It was doing so good for the past week, too. 

Anyway, I got up and did my morning computer routine. Basically ate a couple hot pockets and spent all morning on the computer. 

I got my blurb journal updated today, instead of last night. I found it hard finding just any image to to toss in the book...which was weird. Cause I used to just toss any old picture in there for aesthetic reasons. I did find a nice public domain one I loved though. 

I got chores I need to finish up today:
  • Finish the dishes. DONE!
  • Fold laundry. Put away.
  • Clean the kitchen.
  • Clean the bathroom.
  • Cook Meal Plan Food.
  • Write. 
  • Backup/Organize Computer.
  • Edit my novel.

It’s a great lesson learned to pass on that when I was a teen, I thought becoming an adult finally meant ‘no more chores.’ I was far from wrong.

The big difference in adulthood is you’re responsible for yourself to make sure it gets done. Though, you ‘can’ choose when you want to get it done, and what, unlike in adolescent years.

But as a teen it just wasn’t a need as much appreciated as in my adult years. 😂 It’s just not a good idea to live in your own filth...willingly.

I still want to start a new book. And get back to editing my finished draft on my other one. 

There’s ‘supposed’ to be a lot of errands going on today. Rob has to pay bills and go to Dawns. April has to set a therapist appointment. Okay. It doesn’t sound like a ‘lot’ but April said it could mean several hours on the road. I want to go. I like car rides. It’s a thing. 😂

10:32 a.m. Slapped on a change of clothes and ready to leave with a less than enthused pair of friends.

10:44 a.m. Stopped at the post office. April and I are just chilling out listening to our own music, lol.

Meanwhile my brain is stuck on daydreaming of a ‘what if’ scenario, where I have little choice but to move back in with Mom’s and how my life would be different. Whether or not for the better is questionable. 

Love my family to death, just living with them was a bit of a lonely existence. As evidenced in old journals.

And this thought arose from the fact that one day Rob may marry Dawn, God willing. And whether that means we will be moving with them (which is kinda awesome and highly unusual) or if we have to move/separate for a while.

10:49 a.m. Leaving.

10:50 a.m. At city hall across the street. Rob’s here to pay for bills and we go on our way. 

10:54 a.m. Bank trip and we’re done with Rob’s errands. 

I’ll say it again, time-stamping even seemingly insignificant events really takes my back. I love the ones involving any car trip.

P.S. April and I maintain the status quo. Music on and keeping it chill...except Rob. He’s not feeling it, today. 

10:57 a.m. We’re off!

11:09 a.m. At Peace River Center to make April’s appointment. 

She got momentarily frustrated when she found it hard to park without ‘double parking.’ She finally got it, but she said what frustrated her was it made her look like she didn’t know what she was doing. I’d hug her...but she’s not the hugging type, respectfully.

We’re now in the waiting room. April’s filling out her form to restart her process. 🙏 for positive results and prolonged/successful treatment in Jesus name, amen! 

By the way. Just to check in. Though my friends moods are less than favorable, I myself and happy and quite content today. Thanks and Praise God/Jesus. Right? 

11:21 a.m. Leaving. She’s due back at 1 p.m. but she needs proof of income. No telling what’s gonna happen. To Dawn’s house we go. 

11:48 a.m. At Dawns. Spent the car trip thinking about Melanie’s character arc in my book, cause let’s face it, she’s my favorite OC since Sauvignon (the MC of the first novel.)

12:04 p.m. Played with the baby Caleb for the first time. I sanitized my hands and later managed to make him giggle, and passed him off to April.

And April now passed him off to his Dad, Jonathan.

12:32 p.m. Leaving to the clinic. Took eight bucks from savings for food and drink. Hope I don’t make a habit of it.

1:00 p.m. Stopped off at Taco Bell and ate, ya her quickly. Spent a little over seven bucks, but we’re cool. 

Onward to the clinic. P.S. HOT DAY!!!!

1:09 p.m. We have arrived. And I’m sweating.

1:15 p.m. Leaving. Therapy was a no go. She wanted to do a walk in, but the last was taking longer than normal with her session and two more people were ahead of her. She couldn’t set up an appointment, so yeah. She’s frustrated.

1:34 p.m. Home. Bout to rain!!

2:28 p.m. Played on the computer. The last of the dishes are washed. Not raining yet, but the sky is booming.

Time to take a load off with YouTube before moving on to other chores. 

3:42 p.m. Too much junk food today and I need a nap.

Talked to my parents.  Also asked Mom to buy me shorts, cause I need some. 

Still bad weather out. 

7:23 p.m. After another hard-fought battle with my frequent UTI issues, I woke up near 7 p.m. 

Minxy, more or less, woke me up to feed him and the rest of the cats.

I ate hot pockets and chicken and played on the computer.

I got one chore done off my list today. I’m still feeling kinda tired. Maybe it’s all an alarm to stop eating junk and get back to a better self. Which I should do.

If only I were motivated to get up make that meal plan food and fold my laundry. And maybe somewhere deep down, I am. But I’d have to act on the motivation. Before I hit some people unnecessary downward spiral into depression.

For the record, I’m pretty sure I’m actually happy and content right now. Just physically I’m a bit tired and got a minor headache in the back of my head. 

In a weird way it’s another reason I’m glad I did timestamps again, today. Because this is so much better than summing up my feelings at one or two week intervals.

I thought of joining therapy today. Getting my own proof of income ‘or lack thereof’ and I know Mom would be supportive and help. 

But then my rational brain remembered medication was a thing and I’m not fond of prescription medication. Not sure why. I simply...don’t like it for myself. 

So for now the more comfortable thing is to constantly blog. Getting it out there, out of my head and up to God, means a lot.

More soon. God only knows what’s next.

Chores can always be pushed to tomorrow, God Willing. Which is fine. :). 

P.S. FINALLY drank plenty of water tonight instead of half cut tea.

P.S.S. Maybe a small part of the reason I’m bummed today is spending seven dollars in savings on fast food that was gone in a matter of minutes. Money I meant to go toward a certain other goal I got my heart set on.

Guess the best thing I can do is shrug, learn, and move on. Keep trying from the point I’m at. God provides, after all.

10:38 p.m. Got Aaliyah to join Skype so we can keep in touch easier from now on.  I just hope she’ll use it.

The night is winded down. Nothing new going on. Best to end updates right here.

I can choose to upload this to blogger via mobile, cause I just put my computer on sleep mode. I definitely don’t feel up for putting it in the blurb book until TOMORROW unless I, for some reason, end up staying up real late and think I have nothing better to do.

God bless. All glory, praise, thanks, and all things be to God on highest forever and ever in Jesus Name, Amen! God is able! 


All Glory, Praise, Thanks and all things be to almighty God on the highest forever and ever in Jesus name, amen. God is able to do above all we ask or think!

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