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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Having A Great Week

10:44 p.m. Well, my great week more started with the WeekEND. I went to Mom's and spent time over there hanging out and watching movies.

My favorite thing was getting dropped off at the mall for 4-5 hours and taking a massive amount of photos for my Instagram. I also came home with three awesome buffy figurines (pictures soon) from some mystery boxes and getting Rob a Deadpool one for a late birthday gift.

We also browsed stores and went out to a nice breakfast where I had a nice steak burger and scrambled eggs with cheese. Also potatoes. :)

Saw the movie Black Butterfly..yessss...with Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Mom didn't even recognize him at first. He's gotten older, as people always do. As for the film, it was one of those that took half the movie to get to the plot, and after that it had some twists and was pretty decent.

Novel Cover Attempt Three by chelsmith18Furious Eight was interesting and funny, and so was Madea: On The Run. I don't recommend Boss Baby, though. That bored us both.

I showed Mom Kirsten Dunst's Marie Antoinette, she liked it. :) I made fun of it a little, but I still like the movie. I also got to share some trivia about the actual queen and compare it to the film.

There was this other one about this blonde girl, like a modern little Dakota Fanning, where she plays a smart kid and her family's fighting for custody over her. That one was pretty cool, too.

But yeah, that's how we spend time, just hanging out on the couch and watching a bunch of movies.

Since I've been home, I've gone back to the norm. Writing, restarting Buffy (after having finished Angel with that agonizing cliffhanger), etc. I think I even designed a book cover....again. My favorite so far.

My writing has been going well as usual and the quest continues to start another book and finish it. God only knows when that will happen, hmm?

I also gave Zack his birthday gift, a memorial t-shirt given out at his mother's funeral when he was five, turns out he already owned one. Ah well. :P

I've spent today sprucing up my Secondlife store, so that was a success.

I'm still hoping to get in better shape. I REALLY want to exercise, but keep distracting myself to out of acting on the motivation.So yeah, just wanted to update there. Will let you know when I have more to share.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Let's Talk Feelings



9:00 a.m. So, to start, I have a happy place. A place where I go to lose myself in my own little world. It's a big orange-rocky cliff overlooking an empty shoreline of large crashing waves. In the corner of this paradise is a tire swing (the flat laying kind) which has it's center filled in with ice.

I bring this up because on many occasions of me basking in this world for a couple hours, I told myself I needed to actually remember to go there one day...like, in my dreams. And on many occasions after, I don't think to do it.

The one time, the other day, I remembered to try while I was still in a dream state, I never actually made it. I tried to go, believe me. But instead I was endlessly crossing sea waters with these huge steel structures which for some reason then reminded me of an 'Industrial Disney World.' There might have been mouse ears, I don't know.

I tried REALLY hard to picture this place in the dream, so I could fly there, but it never manifested.

Boo.

We're just gonna have to wait until I remember to try again, God willing, and see if it happens.

It's weird, cause every time I want a carnival to appear (my other happy place) it does. Almost every time. But with this I could barely put together what exactly this place was supposed to look like, though I can recall it perfectly in my waking mind.

Anyway. Kids start school today, so that's exciting. It's Harmony's first day and all. :)

I did a bunch of Secondlife clothing-making stuff yesterday.

I have been keeping up on my book challenge as well. In fact, the other day, I extended my plot so far in my head that I think I may need two books to tell it...unless the plot doesn't end where I need it to at 365 pages, that is.

I tried to start a new novel, again, but didn't get past the first chapter. Yes, I'm still struggling to find a story I'm as committed to as this one. Although, I'm still brainstorming the perfect cover for this book.

Speaking of weird dreams, I woke from a really strange one today. I dreamt that because we took on a deer from an animal place once, they sent us a black panther as a thank you. It acted like a big cat, really, and bit my wrist once, though obviously not in a painful 'dream' way.

In this other part of the dream, April , Rob, and I were gonna go swimming at a creek...which turned out to be infested by alligators. After we escaped that, we trekked through some waist deep mud/thick water and I lost my shoes. Rob was kind enough to fetch them for me.

In another dream, I attended a party hosted by Hugh Hefner. I think all I cared about was taking phone pictures of the amazing view of the skyline...though we were sitting on the water. Outside, some action movie explosion occurred snd Robert Downey's Jr., in a light blue suit, went crashing into the water. I tried to take a picture of that, too.

While looking through my pictures on my phone, someone was in awe of Kate Winslet (as Rose DeWitt Bukater during the jump scene) who was in there several times...as if I knew her personally. Apparently, I had met her the night before, according to them, but in the dream I couldn't recall...as if I blacked out drunk. So yeah.

Back to reality. Money came in my bank this morning.

I distributed to my savings account as planned.

I, then, tried to log into my savings spreadsheet (to keep track) on OneDrive, but the thing wouldn't load on my desktop. Grr.

So I had to get to it on my netbook, which had the internet off so I had to turn that on, then actually 'find' the file on OneDrive (which did load) because I overlooked where it was on the tiny screen.

The point is, I've met this week's goal and if I watch my spending, I'll have enough for next week's goal, too. Praise the Lord. This is going quite well.

Monday, August 7, 2017

Bittersweet Symphony



10:37 p.m. It''s late. I've just had something really really unhealthy. Two hot dogs on white bread with mozzarella. It's been that kind of week.

I'm constantly hungry. Healthy food is getting psychologically boring because I haven't spiced things up enough. I went from eats rice and lentils all week to regularly eating spinach, lettuce, pickles, and black forest ham on whole wheat bread. It got boring, even when it was an option.

I don't feel like cooking eggs. We've only got two left.

I seriously crave meat, which we lack aside from burger thawing in the fridge, and craving boiled peanuts, which there is no money or transportation for. April ate the black forest ham up quick, with a little help from me. I feel like...if I'm not getting what I'm craving, then I'm constantly feeling hungry, which is making me eat...and eat more soon after. And combined with being bored with health food, not a good thing.

Not to mention staying up late streaming shows also causing temptation to snack.

I also snack on half a shot glass of M&M's now and then. I haven't really given up the chocolate.

Feels like I'm falling back. I felt perhaps writing this out may bring things more into focus. God's always listening after all.

I've been writing my book, watching Angel, playing Skyrim, and working on Secondlife stuff lately.

I was stressed this morning because I basically get annoyed sighs when I complain to my roommates about leaving trash on the kitchen counter for the umpteenth time. As if there are other problems, so why bother complaining about that one. They do apologize, but it just keeps happening.

If APRIL puts up signs to complain, everywhere, we have to face them or she gets testy. If I put up one, it's an eye roll and toss it in the trash. Just had to get that thought out of my head. So yeah, I stressed about that this morning. And maybe another morning the other day.

Oh! I also moved my computer desk next to my bed so I'm not sitting in a hard chair all the time. Nice cushy bed to lay back on, and am doing so now as I type.

At least there's God. He's good to trust that things can pick up.

Speaking of which, writing has me feeling ultra giddy lately. It's hard not to just write out this next part of the plot ahead of schedule and let things stew.

It's turning out to be my favorite part of the whole story...the ultimate questionable fate of my characters...the ones left anyway. I do have a habit of killing them off, but only in ways that seem to affect the later plot. I also have that 'you think they're dead, but think again' thing going for a couple of them. ;)

I mean really. One of my main characters (a former murderess/legendary madwoman) is at death's door after giving birth. This guy, brother in law to one of her most regrettable victims is there. This guy's brother died of grief, leaving this man alone.

He shows up with an axe to kill her and her baby (he was once a torturer for the tyrannical king so he is a bit twisted in the head)....and she's gonna give up her child to him because she took away his family. Aside from her sister Elizabeth, who she's had no contact with since Elizabeth gave her up to be formally executed for her crimes, she has no family left either. It's partially the only way she can truly apologize, as well as a last ditch effort to ensure someone will take her child now that she feels life ebbing away.

He's gobsmacked by her request.

Not to mention moments before this he killed an innocent man who got in the way of his attempt to murder her, so he's reeling from this, too. This innocent man was originally the one Melanie planned to have take care of her child, but he's dead now sooo....yeah.

It's a wild scene. I love that!

My book has so much drama. I can tell because when I tell April my scenes, there's all these interwoven details about the lives and nature of my characters. So excited!

You know where this stuff comes to me? Listening to songs like 'The Sound of Silence' by Disturbed on the way to get groceries. That song, no joke, is the tone for so much of this book.

Praise God. Not for the violent stuff, I mean, just in the direction I can take my writing. Some of my characters do commit evil, but they also have the vulnerability to be sorry for it in some way,

145 pages left before the challenge is finished January 1, 2018. Not counting massive editing that has to occur after but still... (Also, I have to go back and add some foreshadowing scenes to tie things together nicely.)

I never expected to get emotionally attached to a story since the Dream Doctor. I never thought I could top it, to me, but this is the first of probably a dozen tries at writing a novel where I'm genuinely into the story. I want to see it to the end. Praise the LORD!

I do have some interesting writing goals.

1. I want to write a series.
2. I want a story with gothic-looking characters in a non-gothic plot.
3. I want to see if I can write a whole novel in 24 hours. For serious. Again, not including editing.
4. Write a complete novel in one month.

So God bless those, in Jesus name, Amen! :) Yay, goals.

Sure, sometimes I pray to become a bestselling author, but for the moment I am writing for the audience of me..which is fine. I'm also kind of glad I didn't plan out the novel too much to begin with, because it makes it easy for me to surprise myself with twists, and thus surprise the reader...if there ever is one other than moi.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Awkward plus Writing Stuff.



So today is been pretty awkward. It started when I stayed up too late, until around 5 AM, and then I got woken up by the cats two hours later. Then April woke me up two more hours later.

We went grocery shopping to Walmart. After that, the tension began.

Rob wanted to go out to Dawn's house and April did not, simply put. She had less sleep than either of us, we didn't get much sleep.

In the end, we went, but April was very reluctant to do so. She stayed up for God knows how many hours and was doing all this running around so for that I can't blame her, but at the same time, Rob says he won't have the gas money to go to later so it has to be done now.

So that made for an awkward car ride. Mostly drowned it out with music and playing out the scene for my book and my head.

On the positive note, Rob decided to renew my blog domain, so I get to have this beautiful website for another year.

My old store in Second Life closed and but new one is open and yesterday was the last day of the sale. That went pretty well.

I've been working on Second Life clothes a lot.

I also bought a legal version of Skyrim Elder Scrolls V, original version. It only cost about five dollars and it saves me 9 GB of space on my flash drive. So that is definitely a perk.

The good thing is despite the purchase. I was still able to meet this week savings goals and with more money coming in from second life, I'll be able to meet them next week. So we should praise God for that in  Jesus name Amen.

Also, April has been having a hard time understanding me lately. She says I tend to mumble a lot and I don't know when this started but definitely new.

Right now I'm writing this with dictation app on my iPod and it seems that it's having trouble understanding a few of my words, too.

I've been mentally working on my story today as it blocked out the awkward tension between April and Rob. The plot has come to a very pivotal scene in the chapter. I can't wait to write it, but I have to be patient so I don't do more days than I should for this challenge. Again, I say, I can't wait.

Right now I am at Dawn's house and it is 11:34 AM and we've yet to finish grocery shopping so I hope to update after that's over with.

Oh, and I finished Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I am now on season five of Angel.

1:32 p.m. Been here almost two hours, God and fate decided that April can finally sleep after all.

6:00 p.m. So here's what went down. Around what felt like a half hour later, we left, we shopped.

I played Skyrim and now we are hanging out.

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