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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

It's Been What? Nine Days?

9:08 a.m. I've been spending a LOT of time in Secondlife setting up a new store (that's been a LOT of work) and am fully back on the 'healthy eating' wagon, so feeling good there. :D

Found the PERFECT gift for Aaliyah's October birthday and cashed out some money from Secondlife.

Still loving them boiled peanuts.

Speaking of SL, recently bought the Kemono avatar and LOVE it!! Like, how cute it that? :)

I've also been making full perm templates again, so that's a plus. Contemplating how I'm gonna release the Kemono mods, (textures) though. That'll be..different.

On a not so great note, the allergies have gotten to me the past few days, which is unusual for me, for the Summer. Normally it happens in Spring.

Cats have been back and forth to the vet and have been doing well. Hissy got a new cast on after chewing her old one off.

Um...Youtube and Buffy DVD Marathons, plenty of rest, and not much exercise like I should be doing. I wish I had more news but it's only been over a week. Praising and thanking God for blessings, though. :D in Jesus Name, Amen! Bye!!!!


Sunday, June 18, 2017

Hello World!

10:10 a.m. God gave me another beautiful day, so I need to Praise Him, thank Him, glorify him, worship Him annnnnnndddd do something with it. In Jesus Name, Amen!

1. Continue writing my novel. (excited about the advancement of today's plot point.)
2. Laundry. Oi.
3. Altador Cup levelling (got up three levels last night, yay!)
4. New full permission SL PSD templates (been ages and ready for a comeback.)
5. Make my bed.
6. Update Blurb journal book.
7. Add to Dream Doctor Sequel.
8. Make a new book cover.
9. Download Instagram photos to date.


I'm sure there's more to add later. Anyway! Yesterday, we also went grocery shopping and for the first time in MONTHS, they had Braggs Apple Cider vinegar in stock. I snatched it up. ^_^ So happy!

While I was away for over a week, I went way off my diet but now I'm back on and enjoying it so far. I picked quite the time to do it though, that time of the month (Aunt Flo etc.), BUT I've always noticed cramps are well reduced on a healthy and hydrated diet so quite the timing, indeed. ;)

I've been quite mysterious about my book but I'm more excited about one of my characters and her development. She started out as a common servant girl, rises to being a VERY proud Duchess and eventually, a murderess who becomes pregnant, and is now alone and descending into insanity. All the ones she loved before had been killed or died in other manners.

She regrets accidentally killing her best friend who was going to tell her secret about the murders, and it snapped her mental state into this point. She now sits around talking to people she has killed, among others she knew who died, and has convinced herself they are alive and the people searching for her for the murders are only doing so and accusing her out of jealousy.

She's become a lot more kind as a result of her mental state, as well as a lot more simple-minded. My goal is that though she did some heinous crimes in her past, eventually the reader is going to have sympathy, even love towards her....which is going to make her ending all the more sadder.

So yeah. That's the drama surrounding just ONE of the characters. Oi.

So yeah, I say those two words again, I'm ready to get on with the tasks and continuing her story. God bless, Jesus loves, lives, saves! Bye folks!

1:43 p.m. Gah! My feels! I've mentioned the same things in the last few posts on dating so I'll spare you the bulk. I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

I am glad that I've learned what I did about myself and can, quite happily, apply that to my future.




It's okay to form a safe place in yourself.


I'm not alone in the universe, apparently in Google searching there are other people like me, so praise God, there's a comfort. Sigh. Some days are too emotional but it passes.

Really feeling the need for lunch, then just sweeping the to-do list under the rug in favor of a mediation session. :) Could really use one today. Okay, not ALL tasks under the rug...but I do want to take a time out and go to my happy place a good long while.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

So Much To Say and Do!

To be frank, I've not worked my way out of bed yet and decided to write this on my netbook for that reason, instead of sitting at my Desktop. *.*

6:41 a.m. After being gone for over a week, I've racked up quite a to-do list. Granted, it doesn't have to be done in a day, Rome wasn't, but these are the tasks I would like to see tackled.

1. First of all, God bless it, the other day I got an entirely new, and better, idea for the direction I want one of my main characters to go in the novel I'm writing this year. I'm thrilled and I CANNOT wait! :D I realized that my ending idea kinda dwindled down into something boring with little climax, so this is a great change up, not to mention a fitting one.

2. Continuing the Altador Cup. Won't make All Star, I don't think, but can boost my rank a little.

3. Continue the Dream Doctor Sequel.

4. Make new things for Secondlife. Already halfway towards what I need to get Aaliyah her awesome birthday gift this year. Jesus rejoices.

When her birthday party comes around in October, it's planned to be a hotel trip and I'll be going away for yet ANOTHER week.

5. I STILL need to move stuff out of the living room into our storage. I gave my big desk to Mom, she liked it, but we just need a way to have someone come and 'pick it up.' Idk or maybe she can have April drop it off.

6. I potentially have a new stock image for the cover of my new book. I know, I keep redoing and redoing the cover, but this should be interesting. I could put it towards ANOTHER book, now that I think of it.

7. Update my blurb book to date, of course.

8. Get BACK to eating healthy and possibly exercising, too. I let myself off the diet for over a week, and thankfully so far has only been that long, so I want to retry getting back on the horse. I had my fun and all, everyone has one of those brief periods, and time to keep fitting in my pants because getting bigger sizes is expensive.

9. I still need to order prints of my 2013 photos.

10. I need to download my Instagram photos and organize them. *.* So many.

So yeah.

Emotional stuff from yesterday aside, here's how my week went:

First of all, Drake's birthday party. Started with a trip to Party City with DJ, Maranda, Mom, Drake, and Brooklyn. It was kinda fun. Got Paw Patrol themed stuff and I loved seeing the smiles on the little ones' faces.

I got to spend time with my nieces, nephews, and little cousins at Family Fun Center. Mom got a plain cake that was overpaid for and not what they wanted, but they decorated it to make it better. I toured the kids around the jungle gym area and they all had fun.

Pizza was cheesy and delicious, and we tried to eat two slices of cake instead of one because it was ice cream cake and my brother insisted on not having melty leftovers. Presents were nice but rushed, and then we got out of there.

1. Played seven hours of bingo with Mom at one point.
2. Fighting with the wifi sometimes to keep it.
3. Watched Guardians of the Galaxy. :) I can actually understand the plot this time around. I totally want the DVD now.
4. Lot of sleeping in until late morning and early afternoon. Lots of movies and occasionally relaxing in a hammock int he backyard.
5. Took a brief trip with Mom to the mall and got a new little purse and a jacket *which at the moment doesn't fit my armpit area :(*
6. Not sticking to a healthy diet.
7. Monopoly on my iPod, a lot. Almost always feeling like the AIs were rigged.
7a. I forgot my Mummy DVD in my computer DVD player so my plan to watch that at Mom's was out the window.
8. The last day of my trip was among the best.

Mom originally was gonna work at home but her computer was having issues, so I rode with her to work for the hour and a half it took to get there. Then I used her hotspot and watched Pushing Daisies. At one point, we went to Wawa and I got a Chocolate Cheesecake shake and chicken fingers. Delish. :)

We left at 2 p.m. to go seek out Carlo's Bakery for the first time, mostly getting lost towards the end but we eventually found it an hour and a half later. It also happened to be Cannoli day so a dollar Cannolis each for us, a cupcake for Rob and April, and a chocolate Moose cake for me.

I took a ton of Instagram pictures, of course.

THEN it was off to Walmart where we got April a portable closet and storage like mine, and then when I got home, Mom helped me set it up. :) April liked it. ^_^ They LOVED the cupcakes though. Chocolate peanut butter. Like, GUSHED about them. I shared the Cannoli, too. I have yet to try the Moose cake but give it time.

She also bought me the DVD 'Ever After' so that's off my wishlist. :)

I finished the night watching Pushing Daisies and I went to bed. I mostly remember dreaming of something that I could use in my novel, actually.

'King Leopold may have been a terrible king, but at least he cared about the commonwealth and not [charge an excessive amount of taxes]) Comparing this person to some new king.' Leopold was only really harmful to the rich.

It was something along those lines in my dream, not a direct quotation. But yeah, I liked it. Kinda reminded me a little of the Man in the Iron Mask, which I also found myself thinking about.

Also, I realize after my last post, someone's feelings may be hurt. It's not my intention, I just can't hold back or hide what I was feeling (as I was tempted to do as I know this blog is read by others) and I had to be completely blunt about my feelings. The point of writing is to let 'everything' out so it can stop repeating in my head, and often grants me peace for doing it.

1:49 p.m. I managed about 10 pages today and caught up where I need to be for now on my novel. It is FABULOUS! I'm thrilled with the direction it's going, though it's a very sad one, too.

Friday, June 16, 2017

Hard Epiphanies

8:05 p.m. Once again, I've come back from Mom's and limited wifi, and have waited until now to return home and write down the thoughts that have run over my head this weekend.

First off: I am no longer, no have the future intention of, dating.

I've come to some realizations about myself.

I do not like touching, or to be touched. I don't like being flirted with. I don't enjoy pet names (though for a very brief time, I did.)

I don't want to knowingly enter another situation where I am faced with those things.

I don't like cussing, dirty jokes, or being groped. Certainly not kissed, except by a family member. And again, will be happier off not being in the presence of it happening towards me, much worse finding it in any way funny.

I did forgive that he grabbed my butt. I didn't feel it but only realized that because he said so and laughed it off at first because he seemed to think I was supposed to find it cute that 'he couldn't resist doing it.'

I was angry about it later when (later in the week, thinking about it.) I realized he basically touched me there 'without' my consent, attempted to kiss me at the end of the night 'without' my consent (though he did both apologize about the first thing and then kissed me on the cheek when I was wary to kiss him back.)

I suppose the normal dating world consists of it happening without the need to ask the woman if it's what she wants, just dives right into doing it because 'it's expected' to be allowed.

Men. GET YOUR CONSENT!!!!! ASK. I am NOT the only woman who wants you to do that.

Yet another reason I have no qualms whatsoever about not dating anyone the rest of my life.

It's safe. It's safer, more confident, and reassuring, especially in my walk with God, to not let a man into my life, or my heart, again.

I cannot control other people. I can control ME and my inhibition. Me, by myself, I can avoid these things on my own as opposed to a situation where you cannot inhibit it coming from someone else.

I know even aside from these things, as I said before, I function better in a solitary environment. Yes, the decision to not be with anyone DOES sound kind of sad to some, like I'm choosing to be lonely for the rest of my life, but I only see the positive prospect of it. It suits ME.

After all I've gone through in my life, the last thing I want any man focusing on is my body. Groping does not equate to that. Just saying. I did accept the apology, but I'm not over it. Being touched like that, even once, even after an apology, bothered me to a deep part of my soul. I didn't ask for it, or try to do anything to hint I wanted it to happen. I did not provoke it. I don't wrap my mind around that a person finds it okay, cute, and normal to do. But that's me.

I've been traumatized in the past, okay? If a man treats me lustfully, I feel like I'm targeted and I don't understand what I would have done to deserve being targeted. It's heartbreaking. It's like picking me out of the world to be your object of desire and lust and I am unable to understand WHY ME?! Why target me for that, especially when I did nothing to provoke it?

I'm a human being, not an object for any form of sexual delight, groping, and pleasure. Sigh.

This is hard. This is something wrong with my life that I just want to go away and never happen again. I was relaxing on my time away and even battled some very old personal demons on a deep level (and sometimes felt like I was on the losing side of that battle) but this kind of stuff WAS on my mind while I was gone.

I didn't trust men to start with. I still don't. EVERY time I tried to let my guard down, and decide maybe 'this' time I could, it backfired. I can't trust men, anymore. I don't. I can't seem to name a single time (except my male roommate or a family member) where trusting a guy didn't backfire on me.

I don't understand why I'm a target.

I don't want to be in any position where I can be a target ever again.

I want to be left alone, to myself, where I'm safe forever from men treating me, and acting, the way I don't want to happen.

This is so true on so many levels, I cannot begin to describe it.

I...have more to say on lighter subjects but need to breathe after this post. Jesus Christ help me.

EDIT: Reading previous posts, there's something I have to tell my past self.

'No.' No, you do not have to compromise/give in when uncomfortable just because you aren't the only one in the relationship and what is uncomfortable for you, is not for them. Don't shrug it off and force yourself to be okay with situations you are not okay with just because you don't want to bother the other person.

Thanks for giving it a try, even a brief one, and I'm glad the feelings you had deep down eventually made themselves known to you and you could put it into words.

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Second Post. Same Day Because Other is Too Long.

12:22 p.m. Washed off makeup from the night before is giving me that burny eye feeling like one gets when they just finished crying. Still trying to figure out what I'm gonna do with my day.

Also talked about my date with him and things seem worked out. -thumbs up- 

Also, here's to so far having saved up (but not cashed out) twenty-seven bucks~ :D Woot! Looking forward to how much more I will be saving up so I can get that gift I wanted for Aaliyah's 10th birthday in October. 

Contemplating having a long meditation session with my headphones at some point...sounding good but need to actually do it, lol.

7:37 p.m. Okay! :) So! I slept until 6 p.m. and then took care of some grocery shopping with April. I...just got home and am really needing to meditate because it will make me feel so good right now.

When I meditate, it's to headphones and I go to my 'happy place' which is an empty beach surrounded by high cliffs and the beach has crashing waves...and somewhere in the corner is a flat-seated tire swing where the center is a seat of pure ice. It's all along to some somewhat emotional and slower paced music and really gets the endorphins going. :) I also spend hours doing this so it means apart from that, I tend to not focus on anything else.



So Here Is Where I Blog The Deep Feelings.

9:50 a.m. SO! Yesterday, I had my first date! Overall it went well. This post just kinda goes through how I was feeling through the whole thing rather than too many specifics.

It started with me getting ready a bit too early before he was supposed to arrive, so I kinda wandered around sort of excited and nervous. Both April and my Mom also told me to get the model and tag number of the car for safety reasons. which he happily obliged to tell show me even with ID.

I could see their concern. Meeting a guy online is not always the safest so one has to take precaution. Then you have the thing where everyone I love is also very protective of me, hahah.

Anyway, he arrives and gets a big hug. He also gave me a striped rose. (awww) He's about a foot bigger than me so I felt so tiny, and we listened to Pantera quietly on the way to the restaurant. I didn't say too much, then again, I often don't. I told him I was like that up front at least.

Um, almost immediately he opened with a dirty joke. I was polite about it but it did make me feel a little uncomfortable. Also, cussing here and there was kind of an issue for me, but he didn't know that. I think I 'subtley' mentioned it at dinner eventually, but yeah. I told myself these were little things, and to not let it stop me from trying to pursue something that could make me happy overall.

We got there (Longhorn Steakhouse) and I got the door myself and he joked about me doing it before he could hold the door open for me. Then we got a booth and at first he jokingly slid in on my side and later switched.

We ordered wings to start and some bread, then I had chili cheese fries and he had steak. We talked but there were those awkward moments I expected where we kinda had to stare at each other and weren't sure what to keep talking about. He didn't seem to mind, though. :) I talked a bit too much about health and diet stuff (in my own opinion.)

So yeah, dinner went off without a hitch.

It's around late 9ish I think and we decide to go check out Books a Million, cause we both love books. We got out of the car and he said it was time to do the 'lift test' or something. :P This was where he doesn't consider a woman fat if he can lift her. So he does, and then spins me around the parking lot, making me laugh. What girl wouldn't enjoy that moment? (non-sarcasm)

Then we go in and wander around, looking at things. he holds my hand, too. Minding you, I'm 28 and have actually never dated, so something so normal was actually quite new to me. Also, his hands were huge compared to my own. I got in the moment (and more on this 'said' kind of topic later.)

We mostly looked at Pop figures and then he headed to the bathroom. I wandered around pretty awkwardly (which I don't normally do.) I think it was weird because I was broke and normally when I'm here I actually have money. So it was a lot of aimless and non-specific wandering.

Occasionally, during this trip, he was rubbing my back. I didn't rub back or lean in as one might be expected to do. I think, again, this was due to it all being new to me and my brain was subconsciously just taking this experience in slow. I literally walked around with my arms folded to myself.

This brings to strong focus the realization that I forgot I knew. I am a 'non-romantic' person. Apparently, I'm just like my Dad in that aspect, lol. April calls it 'asexual' with me but I more prefer the term 'non-romantic.' I...am not a romantic type. I'm very laid back and I realized that the ideal relationship for me would involve hanging out like best buddies, having the same romantic emotional connecting, but skipping out on any form of PDA whatsoever.

But...dating is about two, not the one. I can reciprocate...to a point. I'm reasonable.

Anyway, so we also decide to head to the theater and were choosing between the new Pirates movie, which was already beginning and waiting a half hour of Guardians of the Galaxy Two. He already saw Pirates, so we got with Gotg2.

There was more hand holding and wandering around the arcade until they were done cleaning the theater, and after getting a soda, then going in and sitting through twenty minutes of ads. He put the classic arm around me and I didn't really lean into it...much. Again, still new to this sort of thing because my brain is not sure how it wants my body to respond.

Then we held hands. He held it so tight at one point though that half my hand went numb and I couldn't feel my pinky. But, I didn't say anything. I was happy, comfortable, and okay. I was having a good time. He didn't lean in to kiss me, which was also kind of a relief because there is only so much new experience going on at once that I want to handle.

Eventually, April skypes and wonders where I am and we laugh about it and reassure her. At one point, he was sitting with his hands in his lap for a while which made me wonder if he kinda gave up on the cuddling idea because I was less than reciprocative.

So I did eventually cuddle on him at one point in the movie. I..am going to try to describe this the best I can. I was physically into it and aware, smiling, comfortable, a bit warm (my eye makeup kept making my eyes water, though) but I noticed emotionally, something in me felt 'missing.' It wasn't a moment where I felt completely 'whole.' This did kinda bother me, the lack of that feeling, I mean.

The same thing went for after the movie when he held my hand. I could feel it, be okay about it, happy, but there was a feeling (I don't know what) I expected to be present, but it wasn't. I didn't end up mentioning any of this. Honestly, wouldn't it make it sound like I wasn't happy about it?

A couple times he kissed my hand and it made me smile, I felt the tiniest bit of sunshine. I also half-lectured myself in my head about being more open to people and opening up my heart.

I think what was also somewhere on my mind was knowing there might have to be a goodnight kiss. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's fabulous for other people, but I'm still waving my non-romantic flag inside, just not in public because I'm a shy awkward dork. XD

So we get up to my house and helped me unload the stuff. He held me and leaned in for a kiss, mind you he's very tall so if I were to kiss him, tip-toe effort would have to be made on top of this. He eskimo kissed at first, then I felt a bit of unpleasant breath come at me (it happens.) He could sense the hesitation so he went for a cheek instead, much to my relief. That was a gentleman move.

I reassured him that it didn't mean I didn't like the date, which I think he got.

So we said goodnight and I went in to do the 'girly gushing' to April about how this all went. It wasn't long before I went into getting her advice on my 'non-romantic' personality and what this 'missing feeling' issue was. She reassured me that it was totally normal, as this was a new thing, and the fact that I reciprocated instead of being completely stand-offish was a big move on my part, which is true.

I also mentioned what I thought that 'missing' feeling was. I think in the past where I dreamt I did these sort of things, there was the high or euphoric bliss that I wasn't catching from real life.

Then she told me of course, that nobody gets the same high from it in real life as they do in dreams.

Oh! when we were in the car he told me to feel the cotton of his sleeve. I did it, feeling he was about to say something silly, then he goes 'Does this feel like boyfriend material?' I laughed hard, because it was such an adorable moment...and I told him yes.

So, I come back to the computer and he says that he couldn't resist grabbing my butt. Like, I don't know if that's the norm, but for me it was kind of a big deal. I mean, I was already processing these little things and some move like that, kinda let me down.

The last thing I want, is to be seen and enjoyed for, as a body. I want someone to enjoy my personality. Like for years, that was the biggest issue. For me, that kinda stuck a wet blanket on my feelings. Like that made me 'really' uncomfortable.

I did mention that it made me feel discomforted and he did apologize.

I'm REALLY wanting to give this dating thing a try. It's a new experience and I'm learning about myself along the way. If it lasts, great. If it doesn't, I'm more than content to be a happy celibate marriage-less woman the rest of my life without issue.

Ugh. Oi. I'm like happy and excited, even optimistic, and at the same time all my brain can think about is eventually, I'm gonna have kiss him. :/

It's not him that's the issue.

It's the non-romantic anti-PDA-wishing bulk of my existence.
I don't...want to be...kissed. And that, would be a difficult thing for any normal guy to understand in this kind of world, and probably makes a girl very, very undateable.

But I'm trying not to make this all about me and understand that a guy is gonna want to express himself that way, eventually.

I know I 'don't' have to if I don't want to. It's understandable if he's willing to hold off so I'm not uncomfortable, but doesn't come off sounding as reasonable if I say I need it 'indefinitely.'

Because I genuinely don't think I will ever be comfortable enough to kiss a guy. It's because of who I am.

It's all kind of conflicting, ain't it? Emotionally, I'm there. It's the physical part where I fall short and I feel like this may lead to being emotionally distant too, which is honestly sad on a guy's part. And already, my feelings about the physicality issue are nibbling away at the emotional happiness and bubbliness that's there. He does make me smile and laugh, like a lot. He's a great guy.

I'm obviously very different from typical women, or at least it seems that way.

Ultimately, it comes down to this:

Do I want to date him?
Absolutely.

BUT I'm not a romantic, and I would be happiest in some relationship where PDA wasn't a thing and we could just hang. The lovely 'lovey-dovey' feelings can be there but physically it's just like best friends. And....I don't know how to bring it up to where it doesn't come across like it's him, when it's me.

AND
I am at least wanting to give the relationship a real chance and see what develops in the future. I want to know if I will fall in love eventually.

BUT
we come back to me definitely not wanting to be kissed but the longer I date, the more likely it had to come up. And I wouldn't be looking forward to it every time we did get together. It'll be on the back of my mind. I know he'd say he doesn't want to make me uncomfortable, which is noble of him, but the thing is I don't see myself ever being comfortable with it. Though I DO want to date him, I feel like this would be a big issue for him at some point.

I do a lot of overthinking. Can't you tell? lol.

I also meant to meditate last night and emotionally go over all this then, but I was WAYYYY too tired. We got home at like 2 a.m. (Also, April and Rob enjoyed the bacon and cheddar fries. Rob said he plowed through them, lol.) I took all my makeup off and went to BED!

P.S. In writing this, I had hoped to come to some sort of epiphany but I'm not feeling it yet. Or if I already wrote it, I haven't noticed.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

A Happier Me

9:14 a.m. Before I go into what's been going on all week, I need to say that I'm feeling happier and more at peace lately than I can remember.

For once, OkCupid got it right. I found a guy (and we aren't dating yet but we have one planned for next week) and...he's just my type. He calls me beautiful and gorgeous (which in the past coming from ANY other guy was actually a pet peeve, but it didn't bother me coming from him.) In fact, I liked it which was even stranger.

What I know now is I'm smiling more. I get these new, happy, and strange butterflies in my stomach when we talk. I sometimes can't sleep now because I'm smiling too much. He doesn't care that I thought my hair was too messy to be on a webcam or that my smile wasn't perfect, just finding me beautiful the way I am.

If he reads this, I'm running to the corners and hiding with deep blushes, just saying.

Also, even when I feel my most awkward trying to conversate, he said I actually talk quite a lot, which surprises me.

To sum it up, so far God has been answering my prayers. I genuinely like this guy and look forward to going on a date with him, if that's what God has in store for me. :)

Fluffy stuff aside!!

A LOT of package ordering from Amazon, lately!

I got a fresh updated copy of the Dream Doctor, The Mummy 1 and 2, Jurrasic Park Series, and Twister. When/if I get Titanic, my favorite 90's cheese DVD collection will be set. :) That an Josie and the Pussycats. For me, the nineties had the classics. I've also reorganized my DVD collection alphabetically, and not just sections for ones I only bought because Jonathan Rhys Meyers was in it or Marilyn Monroe.

I also bought Once Upon a Forest purely for nostalgia.

I got a 64GB flash drive for computer back up, 13 port usb hud, and a usb card reader. All useful things. I bought some new pots and pans for the house as well, which were kinda small. I got a fan which actually breathes air into the room.

I got that Madea play I wanted at Wal-Mart. Been eating a massive amount of boiled peanuts, lately.

I've been on an organizational kick this week. Starting with, and with help from Mom, getting a lot of storage bins, portable closet, and exchanging my large bed for a twin bed which April helped me go pick up from DJ's trailer. That was an adventure. (Thanks, rain.)

The harder part was the fact that thanks to a narrow hallway and small room, I had to take the frame apart and bring it back..and then it didn't exactly want to come back together. In fact, it took massive help from April and her stepdad just to get the job done. To thank her, as she refused any other payment, I washed the load of dishes. :)

I crafted a hanging board from scrap wood, nails, mod podge, and black spray paint. I STARTED a crate but ran out of mod podge. I gave it to April. She STARTED spraying it in black spray paint but ran out. :/

There's been furniture re-arranging going on to give my tiny room some space and I've been sticking my excess stuff from the living room in our storage shed. Hoping to do more once the rainy period clears up. Siri says it's gonna rain all week. Fun fun.

New SecondLife creating as usual and currently saving up for a nice birthday present for Aaliyah in October. She turns the big 'double digits' and I couldn't be more proud of my niece.

Healthy eating has been going great, still not exercising as much anymore, but give it time. A hiatus for me often produces a new burst of interest and acting on the motivation. My weight has gone down to near-normal, thankfully. I have not weighed myself, not at the start or since, just saying I notice the bodily change...pictures help, too.

If I hit a 32-inch waist, which is the lowest I'll remember being, I'll scream. I'm on day 47 and counting. Waist: 34 inches. I'm hoping it's not so much a vanity thing as it is 'Yay, I will fit some clothes even more nicely, now.'

I'm now a size 13, down from 16 or 17 at the start. My 'magic' number is a size 11/12, which I was for years, several years ago, before all this weight gaining happened. So I'm close and still pushing to see what a year of change will look like on me. Once I plateau though, I know adding in the processed stuff even in portions won't cut it anymore, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Still writing my main novel and 'started' a sequel to the Dream Doctor, but I've yet to continue it.

Unless I think of more, that's what's been going on with me lately. God bless. Jesus loves, lives, saves. Bye, folks.

9:38 a.m. Further update in regards to the last post. I DID manage to get my Christmas video off the laptop by putting it in a ZIP file. (I can't believe I didn't think of it before.)

Not getting an Instagram Album sequel...yet. Too much money to spend on one thing, instead I bought the stuff above.

I want....another six-hour mall trip at Brandon Mall. I want someone to take me to a mall with some money and just leave me there for six hours again. I should do that at some point when I get extra cash, haha. If you're new, yes I can spend six hours at a mall and most of it is not so much actual shopping, as it is taking pictures of pretty clothes and shiny things. :) Let's also not forget the cheesy dressing room selfies, okay?

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