A Daily Diary: May 2017


Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Meh. :P

It's past midnight. Today, I worked on cleaning out both of my laptops. 

And I also uploaded, I'm sorry I mean that I 'put together' clips Harmony's birthday video. unfortunately, it was for naught because the quality of the video was terrible.

i'm still working on trying to get the Christmas video of the larger laptop somehow because it is a huge file. In fact it's so huge even though it's only 5 GB that they laptop refuses to transfer the video to the flash drive and it is in enormously frustrating.

I went grocery shopping with April, and then when I got home I worked on my Instagram album, my second one. And I hope to buy it tonight or tomorrow depending on if I fall asleep.

I wanted to write this on my Blogger app but on the iPod app, it keeps crashing.

As an alternative, I I am writing this in a notepad on my iPod to be pasted later, then posted on my blog.

I got plenty of fruits and vegetables today as well, which should serve me well for the week as well as whole-grain rice and frozen veggies. Day 33 is looking like I'm keeping on track. 

I'll be amazed if I stick with this for two months. But I will hope to see even more progress as I continue to eat as healthy as I can.

On another note with my iPod I am using voice to text which is making it easier to write this post.

Good night, God bless, Jesus loves, died, rose, saved. That is all for tonight.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Normal Day. :)

10:20 p.m. Today was positive. I did a LOT of writing and even started the second installment of the Dream Doctor. To be honest, I've tried writing a second one in the past but this is going in a completely different direction and I'm loving it.

The first book is ordered and my current novel has a finish date of December 31, 2017 (since it's one of those 365 day novel challenges.)

So this way, I can write without having to stall it for time or even have a deadline. I'm even mentally brainstorming plots and twists. I started out by coming up with ideas for different books BUT this was the one I wound up really wanting to do.

Feeling better, both emotionally and physically, although I wish I'd get back to eating more salads as I've been lackluster on that since I got home. Still looking more fit than when I began nonetheless. 32 days in so far and counting, Praise the Lord. Results are very evident. ^_^

Tonight, I got boiled peanuts, 32 oz. and about 400-500 calories. I ate half and put the rest away, which is good because, with the usual willpower, I finish it off in one sitting. Thankfully I don't think I'm too calorie intensive throughout my day so I'm in the clear.

Today I've had a few bananas, grapes, an apple, 5-6 whole leafs of romaine lettuce, black forest ham (100 calories worth or so) and a string cheese aside from that. Not all at once, just out of the whole day. Also water, a decent amount of water.

Changed my mind about buying pans, possibly, since I don't feel like asking April to drive me to the thrift store to do it and all. :/

Other than that, played heavily on the Monopoly game on my iPod (really took me back to playing it years ago) until I learned how to actually beat the computer, lol. XD Chilled out with friends and that was my day.

I don't exercise as much anymore, just still trying to eat better. Less refined carbs but I have been having light meat and dairy (cheese) some days. At this point, I'm just trying hard to stick with it and hope I get the motivation back to exercise because it's during this week that I was usually giving up in the previous attempts. It'll be a huge victory for me to go beyond that and really stick it out, ya know? God bless, Jesus loves, lives, saves! Night folks! -waves- P.S. Had a weird dream I hung out with Chris Pratt and watched the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie at some tiny theater. The dream version of him was a very very nice and friendly person and I needed one of those happy dreams.

P.S. Here's a small look at the first draft of the first page of my new book. Subject to future editing, but I hope it's still decent:

"Sauvignon is back. I am back. I don't know how, or why, but I'm not as dead as I thought. I looked up and faced the wooden panels lined over my stiff body. I reached up and touched, knowing that beyond this was a six-foot wall of thick black soil, hardened by however many thunderstorms and droughts occurred since I died. I refused to scream or pound at the roof, knowing it was useless. 
I wasn't dead long...I think. My skin and nails were perfectly intact, and the same must be said for my organs, which let my clean and shallow breaths fill the coffin with perfection. While this was nice, it wouldn't be long before my breath, my sign of life, would do more harm than good. 
Even if I did make it out, it would involve breathing in a lot of dirt and very little air. My hands crossed over my chest and my fingers tickled the collar of my white chiffon blouse. With a hard yank, I pulled at the blouse, while partially sitting upward, and slipped it over my head. Then, I tied the shirt around my nose and mouth, able to breathe through the thin airy fabric. 
I looked over the coffin lid for weaknesses, finding several long cracks down the center. I pushed on the cracks and kicked them at the same time with slipping scuffs, grunting as I felt the bending wood give way to the dirt that drizzled in over my chest. I kicked as hard as I could at the bottom of the coffin until my foot went through, and soil came down in thick piles over my feet. I moved the dirt to the sides and kept pushing and kicking, until finally another large hole busted open in the center! I braced the avalanche of soil as I stood up, then clawed at the earth and thick roots as if I were swimming in a vertical direction. 
It was my fortune that the soil was dry, which meant it was not recently drenched by rain. It made digging a lot easier, and less time consuming than the alternative scenario. I wasn't digging for too long, though. I was five and a half feet myself and only a few claw motions allowed my fingers to break the soil's crumbling surface. Then my hand broke through, then an arm, then the other limb until I could lift my head above the surface and gasp for precious earthly air. 
I was reminded of the time I met Tourniquet, before almost sinking to my death in that bottomless pit but it was not a pleasant memory, especially without him here to save me now. 
I lifted my body up and collapsed face down, turned away from my grave. I laid my head sideways against the dirt, then yanked my blouse hanging loose from my face with a wild gasp. My eyes wandered to the makeshift wooden cross beside my grave, marked 'John Doe.' Below it, someone crudely scrawled with a knife: 'Dr. Meyers.' I shut my eyes and cringed, gritted my teeth, and let the tears wet the soil beneath my face. I had to wonder. Was he trapped in his grave, just as I was? If so, did he stand a chance at making it out?"

Monday, May 22, 2017

Back Home!!

9:04 p.m. The activities can be kept short and simple. I stayed at a resort hotel over the weekend, noticed a major (positive) body change, played with my beloved nieces and suffered a light sunburn.

I DID go to Old Town but that didn't go so well most of the night. Harmony got a fever and Mom had to stay home, so I was left going with my sister...who was mainly interested in hanging with her own clique while Aaliyah and I lingered behind them and died of bored.

Had a depression meltdown but was calmed down after by Jen's boyfriend. He's nice.

We had a nice party with cake and presents too, but my camera malfunctioned during the cake portion and I got no record of it. I did videotape most of the other vacation though. :)

Mom got me a new 'pink' iPod touch and Aaliyah got my old one as planned, so that's a plus. It was kind of a pain to set up but it's fine now, lol.  Oh! and she got me a girly case. :D I'll have a picture at some point, God Willing, lol.

Now I need to get to the not so great stuff. I haven't been doing so well. Here's what I consider my major flaws/negative thoughts I need to get out:

1. I get anxiety anytime I'm sent to look for something if I don't know where it is. Be it to get something for someone from another room (if they dont know EXACTLY where it is) or find an office in a building without being told the exact location.

2. I have trouble convincing myself that I'm not annoying just about everyone around me. I feel like I just frustrate people, someone, every day.

Pardon me if talking about this makes me want to cry. I wouldn't mention it if I didn't think it was true. 

3. I'm pretty lonely. I have two friends (real life, anyway) and they were both away while I was on this familky vacation.

4. I've started having episodes where these things kind of lead me to making unnecessary scenes.
Such as again with Old Town I walked off on my own, sat somewhere, and sobbed on the phone to April about how lonely my time was feeling there.

 Then the other day before that where I was put in such a situation where I felt the combined pressure of everyone being irritated with me at once, plus being a small room and increasing my anxiety, that I stormed off cussing about it. I later apologized.

5. When it comes to family activities, ESPECIALLY shopping with siblings, I feel like I fall quietly into a background, then get left to watch the kids while people carry on the other business. (Also an example of the Old Town thing that happened.)

6. I don't speak up about it because (see number two.)

7. April has gotten to the point where she's admittedly terrified that I'm gonna get mad and blow up at her if I ask for help and she says she can't. That breaks my heart since she's my best friend. I told her I'm really trying to work on that and I don't know how long it would take for her to see that. I am trying.

I know I need therapy. I'm aware. Depression, anxiety, loneliness, feeling like a pestilence or a burden at times to someone, and unnecessary pent up anger over all this stuff...not to mention people consider me as responsible as a young teenager (who doesn't know what to do with their life) as opposed to someone my current age. I'm not the type that gets taken seriously by anyone, I think, or trusted to take on most things on my own that other people wouldn't bat an eyelash about someone else doing.

I DO know I'd never commit suicide, or self-harm. Although sometimes to keep from crying in front of people, I'd bite my tongue too hard...then urge myself to stop. I got my faith and God to thank for not choosing to end my life, but it doesn't mean life still isn't this hard sometimes.

8. I don't fit in. With anyone. Not with my current friends or their set of friends, not with my family, not with anyone I know. I don't have a group out in the world I really mesh with, who shares my likes, humor, and interests. I think God is meaning for me to go to Church and find it but it's my own fault for not making the effort.

Let me just repeat that I'm an incredibly lonely person.

This is gonna sound funny but kids are sweet. I love my nieces because they think the world of me, and manage to tell me uplifting things that even grownups don't think to say. They have nothing but nice respectful things to say to me. They really have a special way of making me feel happy and loved. That's what I love about Harmony and Aaliyah. I get really close with those little girls, them with me, and they can really make me forget about these things a while.

And they don't even know they do that. ;)

NOW!! I let that out. May add to it more if needed. Exciting things. I got paid today and went on a little shopping spree.

I got (and can you tell I LOVE 90's flicks):
A little desk fan
Mummy 1+2 (I don't want 3)
The Jurassic Park trilogy (Already have the fourth)
Once Upon a Forest (nostalgic)
Twister (The movie)
65GB hard drive (to get a solid computer backup)
15.00 iTunes gift card which got spent. :P

I edited the Dream Doctor and am uploading/buying it's final edited edition tonight. If you use Blurb, you get a 20 percent discount with the coupon code: WELCOME20 butI don't know when that expires.

Editing my blurb journal (which if you're reading this as a new person) it's basically a hard copy of entries from this blog, which I've been making since my early twenties. I've literally chronicled the great majority of my twenties, sometimes daily for years, and it's AMAZING! :D Praise the Lord, right?

So yeah, that's what I wanted to say so far. Pray for life to get better, eh? I know I got all sad for a moment there, but let's not forget God cares and there are many more happy things in my life compared to those temporary problems.

BOOK FINISHED. Praise Jesus~!:

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Going Away Soon

8:23 a.m. Well, the day I've been waiting for all month is nearly here, Harmony's fourth birthday party. I leave home tomorrow. Gotta get laundry done today, clean up, pack, etc. and I can't guarantee if the internet will be available. I'll be spending time with my family at the hotel a couple days and it should be fabulous! I've gotten in better shape this month and looking forward to keeping this going.

After all, it's the first month that's the hardest.

Spent my morning watching the newest episode of Supernatural. That was...interesting. God be with us today, things gotta get done. :P

Wednesday, May 17, 2017


6:35 a.m. So the past few days, I had been trying out this: low simple carb/simple sugar diet to test the effects it would have. No drastic weight loss but I was hungrier a lot more often. I plan to slowly come back to where I was incorporating foods I love (not really bad foods) with the fruits and veggies. I haven't been exercising lately and will be focusing on eating healthy until I can get that boost I used to have after going without it.

I literally have a chocolate Dove candy sitting next to my keyboard in case a small craving hits, as well as a Quaker granola bar, but lately it's been alright and I don't need them at the moment.

Yesterday, I played some Assassin's Creed...then it made April want to play and she did up until a point near to where I currently am in the game.

I made a DVD wishlist, because I don't have one. XD May take a while to get the collection, but doable. ItT really does show that I dig my 90's flicks best, even the cheesy ones. Link is safe and leads to my Amazon Wishlist.


I was tallying up the prices on my previous goals and I have 'just' enough on my Secondlife account to cash out and do 'most of them' (some of them DO have to wait, like the books) but so far have been reluctant. That may change.

You see, my room is so small and stuffy that all my stuff doesn't even fit IN it! I have my bed, computer desk, DVD rack, trash can, single shelf, coat rack, and laundry. That is it in here. Most of my stuff, namely my books, are kept in the living room. Thus due to a small ventilated space, when it gets cold it gets really cold, but if it gets hot or warm...you get the idea. I need an oscillating fan, soon. So this may happen sooner rather than later.

When cashing out of Secondlife, the whole process takes a week to finish and wind up in my bank account, so I have time to keep thinking on it.

As for the room, I used to have a bigger room and April was stuck with this one, and took it a lot rougher than I do, so we switched and this is why it is what it is...not regretfully though. I make the most of it.

I need to continue working on my novel, too. The past couple days have just felt so lazy, ya know?

Had some nightmares last night, none I wish to remember, and thus I don't wish to disclose. I didn't even sleep too great even then as three cats took up space on my bed and occasionally I had to tell Banzo to get off my computer desk [before he knocks something over] so yeah, lol.

6:57 a.m. I cashed out and now begins the waiting game for the next week or so. God bless, Jesus loves, lives, saves! Bye folks!

7:26 a.m. Did a sort of 're-budget' on my goals and nixed the printer/scanner idea, since I don't have an immediate need for one anyway so that freed up some cash. Very excited though! Praise the Lord! God is good!

Also, for my records, I'm on day 27 of my lifestyle change attempt.

8:29 a.m. Dream Doctor chapter edited on another chapter, Blurb book updated, and novel has a scene added to it. So thrilled! :) Now to kick back and get some breakfast!

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Fit As A Fiddle.

8:19 a.m.I'm in great health these past couple days. Fitness has gone well, as well as trying to cut more simple carbs and sugars from my diet. I've been seriously craving boiled peanuts though, but yesterday when we went to get some (after I scrounged up change) the convenience store had a 'Sorry, we're closed.' sign printed out without any explanation.

Hissy, our cat, broke her leg in two places and her tail. Surgery is too expensive. We assume she got hit by a car, and I can thank God the injuries weren't more severe....or that she was killed. She went to the emergency vet last night, and as a former feral and not stranger friendly, (mind you it took a year just to get her used to US) and they had to gas her to sedate her. She got a cone and a little cast. She almost immediately took the cone off when she got home and struggled to walk with the cast, mostly flopping her way around the house in circles and occasionally bit at the cast to try and get it off. She also made a few sad meows. Poor baby.

April was too sleepy to go, and Rob dreaded it so I suggested he bring Dawn to make him feel better, which it helped a little. I stayed her and watched health documentaries, all the more convinced I need to convert to a fully plant based diet one day. I can only imagine positive results from it, after all.

This morning I am taking it easier. Rest day. I did work on my new novel a bit and the morning has just started, so we'll see how the rest of the day goes. Also, happy Mother's day! God bless, Jesus loves, lives, saves! :) I do love my Mom.

Do I need to remind you though that I so seldom take pictures with my family that I have only ONE photo of me as an adult with just her and I? XD And this was 2010. I was about 21-22 years old. I still have that dress but haven't fit into it in a long time:

My camera never had the right date, so ignore the one in the corner XD

Wished my Mom a Happy Mother's Day. Condolences for my Dad, because he lost his months ago (my Mema) so it's his first Mother's Day without her here. R.I.P.

Friday, May 12, 2017

Update about Yesterday. Plus Dietary Changes.

11:40 a.m. Yesterday, the burning came back in my right hand after a couple hours. I put mustard in a  Ziplock bag, several times, and closed it over the hand..essentially soaking it for a few hours, I think. The big issue was the burning stayed away only for as long as my hand stayed cold...if it grew warm, the burning increased. So after the mustard, I napped with it on ice instead and that worked! Praise Jesus, God, the Lord! :D My hands are normal again, no burning whatsoever, and I've certainly learned my lesson.

We also got me bananas and cabbage last night, then went to Dawn's, then back here.

Because I've been going to bed later, it is harder to get up in the wee morning hours to exercise like I did in the beginning. Instead, I slept in until around 9 a.m. which isn't terrible for a morning workout and went to...work out.

Today I ran into a smiling toothless old man who sat with me and told me a few stories about the park's old days when it was a swimming hole in the 60's during desegregation. And he talked about his marriage a little, lol, seventy years of it! I congratulated him.  A story about giving up his driver's license when he got too old to see, and how he went to several places before they took it back.

A spider also dropped down and landed on him, about the size of a nickel, and he just brushed it off with his hat. Had it been me, I would have freaked out a little.

On the bike trip back, I crossed the crosswalk when the crosswalk light gave me the go ahead, then someone drives anyway and honks at me halfway there because I was in the way as they wanted to turn...even though the crosswalk sign was lit. Shake my head. I forgive and move on.

I got home just after 11 a.m. and chatted with April and Rob a little, showered, and ate a banana. That...has been my day so far.

I need to work on my novel today and re-read the Dream Doctor more thoroughly.  I don't know if we are grocery shopping today. April is too tired and Rob is always in too much pain. Sigh. I can be such a nag about it, though. :P

6:07 p.m. I've eaten a lot of boiled peanuts today. *.* I also had a long nap.

So lately, as in the past few days, my taste buds have come under some interesting changes. After three full weeks behind me on this lifestyle change, chicken tastes more gummy and chewy than it used to, and I'm not as enticed with the flavor. In the beginning, my salad just HAD to have grilled chicken, but I'm starting to physically feel it not being as essential to making my salads flavorful/enjoyable since..my taste buds have also changed to embrace the flavor in greens (WITHOUT DRESSING OR HOT SAUCE.)

When I say chicken though, I mean Tyson's Grilled and Ready (processed, I know, read on) and a VERY small portion of skinless Rotisserie chicken I managed to try last night.

Sugary/processed drinks have been cut for a long time while and I generally limit my milk intake now. Everything but water.

My macaroni portions, my favorite food, have shrunk and shrunk with what my brain desires to get in my body to the point that it should be easy to give those up sooner rather than later.

So yeah, I seem to have made my mind up that I'm going to be gradually moving these things OUT of my diet, weaning myself off, if you will as time goes on. They aren't as interesting to eat as they once were and my fork generally scoots around them on autopilot to get to the veggies greens in my salads.

Complex carbs, aside from the shrinking amounts of macaroni, have been getting easier to limit in my diet. I don't eat white bread, I stopped eating rice, and more recently cereal (see below, though) and the final step is to wean myself off of my beloved pasta aka cheese shells, which is not whole grain and covered in processed yellow cheese.

Rob was really considerate though, while he went shopping without me this time so I could nap. I don't think he 'quite' gets this health change the same way as I do, but an A+ for effort. For sure. Very kind. He bought Quaker granola bars, Quaker cinnamon Life cereal, and Quaker oatmeal squares. He excitedly showed me and all the while I was mumbling in my head, 'Highly processed food touted as healthy options.' Don't get me wrong, I am not ungrateful for the gesture nor did I complain about this...however I will quietly leave the cereals to them and maybe have a granola for a cheat snack...if fruit is not around. After all, eating just one isn't going to make me gain ten pounds. :)

As for healthy options, he did get both fresh and bagged salad greens/spinach also so 'YASS!!!!!!!' As well as the fruit I wanted: bananas, apples, and grapes. So praise Jesus! :D

If I REALLY feel like I'm missing out this week on chicken though by skipping on the Tyson, (I did eat it tonight, which sparked my little revelation), an alternative would be to boil and season some of those boneless skinless chicken breasts in the freezer, a few at a time to make it last the week. So there are some (not AS) processed options.

Ultimately, Ideally, someday, I want to end up on a fully plant based diet. Totally weaned off the desire for processed foods. Currently, I really don't have to count calories (boring!and I can eat until I'm full, and know that I'll stay full. (Unless it is something processed, even then it's in small amounts.)

I eat in small portions, but I couple it with lettuce greens so my stomach thinks it's a bigger meal and I can get filled up on the watery veggies, without needing to go for seconds on less healthier options. And it has worked out for me so far, far as I can tell.

Not to mention the feel-goodness and lack in food comas that comes from eating actual food. I really only find myself checking labels when there actually is one, lol. And I rather enjoy that instead of going cold turkey on the foods I used to eat all the time (or even still eat daily until I do something about it,) I can sense my body 'moving' away from these things as the meals go on with small portions I'm desiring to eat, which makes it so much easier to decline them in the future.

So yeah, the weight loss thing this time around is going easier, way more enjoyable since it's gradual, and Western Diet-type foods aren't all yanked out of my diet at once. I am not gonna feel deprived because I won't feel like I'm missing out on anything. This really seems like something that would be a long term, if God wills, and eventually the full on lifestyle change.

I imagine once these processed foods are completely out of the picture, I may find it hard to meet my calorie intake needs. I mean, when I compare to what it was like counting even healthy calories in the past attempts at a healthy lifestyle, I was getting nowhere near enough, like 1000 calories and that was with processed healthy foods.

I'm poor and can't afford to fly through a lot of my fruits and veggies in one day, instead of trying to make them last me all week. That is the biggest challenge. Yes, I may lose weight and even get full, BUT without counting (which I don't care to do with the healthy stuff as much anymore) it's not gonna be easy to tell if I am getting enough to avoid what the body considers 'starvation mode.'

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Hello. I Feel Like My Hands Are On Fire. (With Updates)

10:06 a.m. 15 hours and they're still burning. It's only by the grace of God in Christ Jesus I managed to sleep through it. I've applied since:
  • Bleach/water solution
  • Rubbing Alcohol
  • Hand Sanitizer
  • Lemon/Lime Juice
  • Lemon Juice soaked in Apples
  • Corn starch
  • Baking Soda
  • Hand Soap
  • Burn Cream a couple times.
  • Milk (multiple times)
  • Ice Water, (usually mixed with one of the above.) 
  • Vegetable Oil
  • Olive Oil
  • Apple Cider Vinegar (Heinz, not Brachhs)
  • Vagasil (yes, for burning)
  • Benadryl
  • Salt
  • Sugar
All of these have been on my hands today and some of last night. Still burning same as this morning.

Anyway, I feel like I've exhausted everything short of anything that would take away all feeling in my hands. -_-

The burning, April said, was the effect of Serrano Peppers, which I THOUGHT were jalepenos. In fact, according to Wikipedia"

Scoville scale10,000–25,000 SHU

That's ridiculously hot and it's all over my hands since last night.

10:33 a.m. I found a solution that seems to be giving the longer relief of anything I tried. Gonna stick it out and see but it seems like it worked. Prayer helps, too. Gotta keep the faith going.

Just a few simple steps and I guarantee you that it will work.

1. Take any oil, cooking or Mustard oil. 
2. Rub oil in your affected hand, so that the hand get wet with oil.
3. Now take 1 table spoon salt and rub in your oil wet hand. Rub it evenly and you will notice the salt mixing with the oil. Do it for 30 seconds.
4. Now shake your hand on fire, use kitchen burner. Keep safe distance so that you don't burn your hand. Just shake your hand for 1 minute. Make sure your hand get warm. While shaking you will feel that your burning sensation in pepper affected area increase but don't bother with it.
5. After 1 minute of shaking just wash your hand with soap. Your burning sensation is gone....

It's difficult to say if it was this alone, or a combination of today's earlier efforts, but by the grace of God, it seems to have worked! Praise Jesus, Praise the Lord!

10:52 a.m. Well, it lasted twenty minutes. Back to burning and square one. :/ Only Jesus can help me now. I got nothing.

11:22 a.m. Burning subsiding after trying mustard. Feeling more relief again.

11:49 a.m. Still have relief. I have caked mustard on my hands now but it's worth it as long as this lasts. :) I noticed that the house is so freezing I don't need the extra step of adding ice. If I go and walk in the warm sun again as I did moments earlier, the burning comes back, albeit lightly but I'd prefer it gone. It's now been about 17 hours since contact and I haven't even eaten yet, waiting until I regain the normal painless function of my hand again...for sure this time!

More soon. God bless, Jesus loves, lives, saves! and again I say, this is a lesson learned, one of those things bad enough that you only need it to happen to you once to avoid it.

12:02 p.m. Burning seems to have subsided so far. Feeling optimistic. ^_^

12:37 p.m. Burning has subsided, as long as I keep my hands from heat (say from the sink which isnt running cold water right now for some reason or the hot day outside) then iot should be fine. Lazy day today, it is. :/

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Just Some Goals

10:17 a.m. Did some meditating today and finally penned those goals I've been thinking of the past week.

I feel like the last time I wrote them, they all got completed, Praise Jesus! So, here goes a whole new set of long term and even short term goals/tasks/wishes:

Long term Goals/Tasks/Wishes

Arrange staying at Mom's close to the date of Harmony's party. Done. She said yes.
Second Novel cover/Title. Done today.
Continuing writing it, of course.  Wrote more today. Due to be finished (aside from editing) at the end of this year. 132 pages so far.

$ = Costs money.
$? Spending Money is Optional.

Rereading DD thoroughly for format errors.  Finished today. May double check later.
Wrap Harmony's b-day gifts. Boxed and ready for wrapping. (Gonna try to get April to do it.)
Read a book. :P or finish one. Preferably, The Mummy.  Done. :)
New clothing for Secondlife so I can sell and keep earning savings.
DD/Reorder to Rick's. DD reordered evenutally.
Update Blurb Journal to 440 pages. Order.
Order prints of 2013 photos.
32 GB flash drive for ONE official computer backup. Clean up other computers afterward. 64GB flash drive ordered.
Buy clean version of 'Love on the Brain.' Youtube,
Join a gym after sticking to this for two months, if I can afford it. Changed my mind.
Rinse out the kiddy pool.
Get The Mummy and The Mummy Returns on DVD at some point, lol.
$? Bring book/pen for Aaliyah OR pair it with mini sticker camera for book and wait until b-day.
$? Six hour mall trip again. :) I mostly take pics when I go so buying things is optional.
$?  Eat healthy, stay active. Fit size new size 16/17 jeans better in time for Harmony's birthday party. Mom will be happy seeing me wear her gift comfortably.
$? Be fit and healthy by Aaliyah's birthday party.

God does above all we ask or think in Jesus Name, Amen! God is able!

7:45 p.m. ^_^ I just had a mishap I might look back on and laugh. Tried to make my own hot sauce with peppers and made the mistake of breathing it in, now sitting here with a burning under nose and outer mouth area googling remedies. It seems to be coming down though, still burny but far less worse than at first, OMG. Never doing that again. I learned my lesson.

Update 10:00 p.m.: Face stopped burning, hands started, then my eye itched and I scratched so that burned for a short while too. Fingers still burny, but more on a discomfort level than completely intolerable.

10:45 p.m. Fingers still burning. Blurb book journal brought up to date, Praise Jesus! Thank you, Lord! God does wonders.

11:22 p.m. Still burning.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Feels Like Longer

8:47 a.m. It feels like a longer time since I last wrote. I'm still on the quest to be healthier and more fit for one thing. I FINALLY fixed the 'cut off' issue with the Dream Doctor novel (and need to read over it to check for further errors now) and have been working on my current novel. 131 pages in and I still don't have a working title for it.

April and I are on great terms again and she's even helping me eat healthy which is an enormous blessing. I overreacted knowingly in my last rant, but she came through because that's who she is and is better than I often take her for. Granted, we've argued on and off since then but it always ended with talking out and simply trying to understand each other, which is great.

Harmony's Nickelodeon Hotel birthday party is coming up and I'm looking to show up there healthy and in better shape. I've already bought her a few skirts and a cute dress from the thrift shop (which was having a 5.00 'fill a Walmart bag of clothes' sale) and it's so HARD finding 5T clothes for that girl. XD I just hope what I got, fits. My sweet niece is turning four years old and time is just flying by.

Also took a trip to the local museum that day, too. 

Mom wants to buy me an iPod, she said just hold off on buying one for a few weeks and we'll see how that goes. 

Meditating more lately and bicycling A LOT! Definitely eating those greens. Less carbs, processed sugar, and fat. I eat meat, but in small amounts.

Been creating on and off on Secondlife. More 'off' the past few days. But made 168 bucks from it so far and still saving...for what, I'm not sure.

Back to trying to find love on OkCupid and so far have been having a good experience with it, for once. I'm seriously in need of being in a relationship, it's that time. We'll see what God has in store. *.* I'm definitely more open and relaxed this time around, so that's a start.

I bought a pretty spring skirt in white and I'm in love with the fit. Super comfy. I once had a dress like it but a bad stain really ruined it.

Picture from 2014. The dress when I first got it, now gone.

At least my calves are getting more toned....

I DO love white linen clothing. Feels so fresh and pretty. I just don't want to eat in this one, lol.

As for the trip with Mom I mentioned in my last blog post. It went great. ^_^ Seven hours of bingo and the power went out there so I went home early that day lol. And she got me a couple DVDs of Tyler Perry plays.

and new headphones. She also bought me a lot of grilled chicken salad in those few days. Whoop whoop!!

We also took the kids, my beloved nieces, out for a pedicure. I skipped mine on account of a healing ankle sprain at the time and healing scabs. -_- 

So yeah, other than what I mentioned there have been the naps, health education via youtube, Bible reading, and Netflixing.

TODAY, or at least this morning, I was having confidence issues. Being super picky about which pictures to put on OkCupid. Scrutinizing them, yet when I put the same ones on Instagram, I can see the beauty in them. It's odd. I've only been on this weight loss thing 19 days and counting, so progress is slow, but it is progress. Speaking of which, I need to eat dinner soon. O.O

P.S. Random note. JRM and Mara's family photos of them and their new baby are SOOO adorable and have made me smile recently. Respectfully, I won't repost them but the account they are on is @thelionandthelambchop on Instagram.

Update: I ALSO found those pictures I lost from 2013. You know, every picture I took of me in 2013 somehow getting wiped out. SOME were on still on Facebook, so Praise the Lord, I got some of those lovelies back:

Who wants to forget my 2013 homemade Halloween costume? Date is wrong on the photo, ignore it.

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