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Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Today Was Not Great

10:22 a.m. My afternoon started with my chat getting muted in a group I shall not name, for modesty sake, over what I thought was a typo...but was told it was a comment I made. I was not told what comment, just a comment.

Fast-forward eating, Netflix, ranting to all who would listen, and hanging out with Rob...all with a lingering dark cloud on my chest...and then I petitioned enough to get forgiven and POSSIBLY allowed to have chat rights again on Friday..or later if they don't end up remembering. I just hope its at some point and permanent. For a while I'll be a lot quieter in said group, I believe, from now on.

This brings me to another thing. Letting something as small and meaningless as this ruin my whole day. I DO feel better that I apologized and was forgiven (I can't stand offending people, I'm one of THOSE people.)

I didn't even feel like creating although a highlight of my day was talking to my friend Anara on there, who cheered me up. Way up.

Another one of my friends Alexandra advised me to next time turn my attention to something positive, not negative. It seems obvious but I wasn't very good about it.

I didn't turn to God about it, like I should have either. Instead just tried to fill the void with other things. Didn't work out so well, obviously. Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day.

SPEAKING of better news, I finished my Ninja before bed this morning! Praise Jesus!

What should have taken longer, I crammed into nearly three days but it finished! THAT is the point! :D Totally worth it. 

See that? Smiley face.


12:23 a.m. Two hours flew by. U had a shower, glossed over Netflix, and ate a delicious meal Rob prepared.

Pasta with Alfredo sauce, bacon, hamburger, and corn!!!

April woke up frustrated at her own computer issues which went away after a restart.

I'm hanging out quietly in here room, although Im getting the impression she's more or less obligating herself to let me...considering I haven't been able to the past few days.

I'll put it this way. She does a thing with a certain group of people over Skype, and often Rob. This thing is against my belief system and she is not comfortable with me being around while she does it.

There were quite a few fights over it in the past. It is a tired argument. So I keep my distance from it and say nothing anymore (God forgive me) and I feel if she was ever giving it up, it had to be of her own free will. So yeah..a thing.

Feelings.


1:44 a.m. I think the real reason I got worry clinging is possible repercussions of telling certain people about this. >.> That's the weight I can't shake off my chest. This is nothing. Only a game. Not a big thing at all. It shouldnt be.

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