A Daily Diary: So Yeah, God is Throwing A Lot This Year...

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Saturday, August 1, 2015

So Yeah, God is Throwing A Lot This Year...

4:14 p.m. This will be candid. The first half of 2015 has been like the year of family crisis. My beloved stepsister Jackie died at 19, my Mema gets hospitalized and someone has to care for Papa and they've made their arrangements for when God takes them home. Getting, then losing (along with my hair) lice, Our landlord is selling the rent lots and we are possibly getting a new landlord, not knowing what our fate will be with them. Donny's dog Jerry, who we got to know over the year since we moved in, passed. That time Donny held the door to keep me from closing it so he could talk. My shipping address does not work for an unknown reason. Joe moved out of my Mom's house and left her upset after spending happy years together. My brother has lost a member of his and his girlfriend's family to a tragic tragic murder. I've been distancing myself from April, my best friend, because she said she doesn't like the presence of people in her room and I'm trying to give her space. My blood sugar spiked at 122 last night. My netbook is slowly breaking after a year. I'm trying to come out of a lackadaisical streak and I keep having those demon nightmares again. It's all a real way to test your faith.

It would be only fair to see the upsides to my year so far as well. God knows sometimes the brain has trouble figuring out which of those it was as easily.

Getting to see more of my family and having my nieces come over for the first time, finding a date, reconciling with Caleb, publishing Seize (even after the shipping fiasco) painting watercolors, making books, Swimming at the creek this summer, making outfits on SecondLife (among doing other things) and being successful at it, getting back in and out of writing, That good month of a health streak I was on, Seeing Uncle Pat again (he gets out of prison in December of this year) Getting to see Papa (although it's been ages since I saw Mema) while I still can, Framing an artwork of mine for the first time, Making a dress for Aaliyah and making 'Nature Bottles' with her, that toddler bed and couch I found on the side of the road that was perfectly useful, my own Church visit (a long one) and Bible study, recording rainstorms on a voice recorder, that tax season where suddenly I actually had money and slowly, very slowly, spent it back down to nothing (aside from Charity uses) Having another niece or nephew on the way, Finding Pinterest. I've contemplated shaving my head again

Now as a reminder...I'll be scowering the blog posts of January onward to relive the pros and cons of the year so far, in no particular order.

Pros:
Gra3yardgirl@Youtube.com
This Fabulous Century 1910-1920 Book.
Discovering Fort Meade's Museum.
The trip to MOSI for Malania's birthday.
Discovering SecondLife.
Read more books. :D Finished off several this year.
JRM Dreams
Donating to JRM's Charity
Going Blonde
Cutting my hair off.
Trying to learn the Blender 3D Model Program.
Kittens!!!
Sams Club Membership and the trips that followed.
Getting to know Barb, Lavidia, and Marina before they moved.
Hissy warming up to us.
Baking my first three tier cake for April.
Discovering that nice park to walk and exercise in.
Finding my 'Magma Time' on Neopets.
When they finally put 'The Men Who Built America' on Netflix.
Seeing a Hawk sitting with a fresh fish in his claws.
The single session of therapy I could afford.
Jojo and Donny (different Donny) leaving Mom's and going back to New York.
Losing Lice.
Buying new music every week for a brief period.
The bank I used since I was 18, Eight years, waving my bank fees for life.
Donny sharing his dryer with me since we don't have our own.
Getting better at drawing.
Colorizing black and white photos.
Getting both Mod Podge glue AND spray! :D
Getting our first cake pan.
NOT stealing music anymore.
So many bonfires I can't even....
Carlo coming at me with a fresh caught lizard in his mouth, tail missing, and then losing the lizard. I saw the lizard with the missing tail recently on our fence months later. XD
Making my own healthy recipes, including the best mild sauce I ever tried.
The many times I anticipated going back home from Mom's.

Cons:
That guy who spam texted me, making me never want to give out my number to a guy who asks again.
All those fights with April.
Anne Allison stopped being friends with me.
Getting Lice.
Unbearable heat at Mom's house.
Effects of psychological medication.
That time a cop pulled me over and searched me, and got my info, for walking on a curb.
Bookwright inconsistancies.
Getting Drunk that one embarrassing time.
Safelink phone expiring and a new one not showing up.
Overeating some days.
When that collection company sniped my entire tax return.
Having several days of carpal tunnel from making too many SL clothes.
When our elderly neighbor, Mrs. M collapsed at her mailbox.
Flag debates so far this year.
Blogging less as the year goes on.
Losing my favorite Marilyn Monroe fleece blanket.
Unsuccessfully fitting my too-tight jeans after resewing them.

5:27 p.m. Well, it took about an hour but there's the list. Normally I would say the pro's outweighed the cons but when it comes to losing someone in death or people getting sick, it's easy to see it's still been a rough year. However, I am thankful for the good things this first half of the year, so praise Jesus. God is able to do above all we ask or think. There are much more happy things that happened but these were the top ranking best moments. Thank you...

7:04 p.m. Still having kind of a hard week. It's not easy when your best friend doesn't want to spend time with you because she just doesn't feel like having people around in her room period. In her defense, it does make a space smaller. In my defense, I have to make myself alone so that desire can be pleased.

A diary is a selfish thing and does discuss selfish desires. I want to spend time with my friend and wish she didn't dislike the presence of people. I also have to accept the things I cannot change.

I can't help that I don't understand why she is always unhappy. She is literally, every day, always  unhappy with some aspect her life and it's a tragedy because she's such a wonderful person.

7:42 p.m. We talked it out. I'm gonna give her her space but we can Skype until she's feeling better.

10:04 p.m. I worked on most of chapter one of Shondra's Law today, so that's a plus. :D

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