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Friday, July 31, 2015

Finding Inspiration...and Something Important to Do.

4:24 p.m. Literally just woke up some minutes ago. I slept in, seeking a lot of inspiration lately. Making another SL dress couldn't cut it yesterday so I decided to start a new book. Problem was, I was blank.

I knew I wanted a female POC MC (Person of Color Main Character) but I didn't have a genre, cast, much less a plot. I went online seeking prompts and whatnot and came up short. I wound up staying up until morning on Flight Rising and SecondLife after.

Then I slept in for a good twelve hours. Had interesting dreams, one of which inspired the book I'm about to write. Yes, praise God, it was wonderful. I was the star of an adventure and I don't want to give too much away but I was like this stealthy redneck woman being hunted by two murderers who were tracking me. I end up killing a few guys when I see them after me, (not a happy moment) scaring civilians and I run into my sidekick, a pudgy guy in a Hawaiian shirt, drop him later (and he goes and picks up a cop to find me because he has photographic memory and remembers my license plate number) and so they are looking for me. I'm technically wanted but it's not mentioned here in the dream. It ends where just when I think I lost them, they show up at the same convenience store and I go duck in the bathroom. He touches the stall (it's  not in a separate room and apologizes) I disguise my voice in response in a British accent, then he gets excited and WANTS to talk. When I don't respond, he starts trying to climb over the door and almost succeeds when an employee stops him. Cliffhanger.

My book is gonna be inspired by that. God forgive me. NOW! Everything up to entering the convenience store was the dream, the rest was made up as I was waking up. Ca piche? Sorry if that's not how it's spelled.

Instead of 'winging it' like I did with the Dream Doctor' (also inspired by my dreams) I am going to make an actual story and character map and do all the planning before I write. I think it'll help. Haven't decided what kind of world this needs to be in? Real, fantasy, futuristic, post ap-- post apocalyptic is good. Last few---Dysotopia. Decided. Then we can determine she's actually hunted for a reason (In my dream it started with a group faction between being for or against a Confederate flag but being as this is a POC center character, it can easily offend.) So I'll be changing that to say....Dysotopia....has a new law, creates faction, she's in between and does not obey, gets hunted by some rebel murderers.

Dysotopia's need a lot of planning, not just world and character planning but laws (important), (being Christian, I don't write worlds without God in them. They don't have to be focused on religion, but I do not throw out the existence of God.) There has to be a ruler who started all this. Technology would be advanced in my story but used in a way like, think Burn Notice? (but I don't think he'll care about a petty chase until it is a threat to him.) Need names for modern things but recognizable to the reader.

Lol in the dream, on the way to the store, she throws out one of those 'pay by the minute card' phones and calls it a 'cracker Jack' so I'll be using that. lol. So yeah. I need to go plan more. Jesus saves. I'm out.

6:23 p.m. IT TOOK TWO HOURS BUT I GOT MY STORY AND CHARACTER MAPPED OUT. Check out this Dysotopian plot: After a law dividing the rich and the poor is enacted, Shondra goes on the run from two vigilantes who believe she killed their brother.



The summary is short, sweet, simple, and to the point. Those are normally extremely hard to write. Does it sound attention grabbing, like an interesting read? I think so ^^ God, I hope so. I haven't even written the book yet and writing that summary makes me want to bring it to life.

Now to do a 'face claim'  that is find pictures online and match them to who my characters are. I'm very, very excited about this. :D

7:35 p.m. Another hour, over it really, and I finished my face claims. Cannot post due to copyrights and whatnot on images but they are still in my personal reference. All this planning is necessary before writing, of course. :d Excited!!

8:15  p.m. Since this is private and my diary, I'll post it here, Praying for my brother and his family right now. Everyone will be unnamed but his girlfriend's mother passed, in an unnatural passing, and my heart goes out to their grief right now.

10:42 p.m. Got back from a quick shopping trip. On a random note, my blood sugar is a bit high. April has a diabetes thing (she does not have the disease) we randomly check ourselves with and the cat nicked me, drawing blood, so I tested it. I think it's 122. Drinking water tonight, lol.

Also have a kitten just randomly lying in my lap. Tis great.


1:51 a.m. After supper, at Midnight, said kitten above suddenly had a swollen, red eye leaking clear fluid so we had to rush him to the emergency vet. He got scratched apparently but it was too swollen to tell much more than that so he was given ointment and we just now got home.

In other news, I have a plot and thought it was an interesting idea to make a new blog specifically for outlining plot ideas to be accessed anywhere, so I will do that. :D

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Yesterday Blah..Today = Hmmm?

I played Flight Rising too much yesterday thus I didn't feel much was on note to say. 

TODAY, however, I made TWO new outfits for SecondLife. I'm very VERY happy with how they turned out, whether they sell or not...I'm finding that blue bird dress a LOT prettier than I did in the moments I finished working on it earlier today.

Mom contacted me and I didn't see her message until a couple hours later. She was upset and though she wouldn't explain why, claiming she was feeling better, DJ did. Joe has moved out though they are still in a relationship. Still, my Mom says she's happy and that's what I'm hoping for right now.

April made delicious shells and cheese tonight so that made me happy. Had too plates full. Been eating a lot this month, unfortunately. I think I may have a food addiction. At least I admit it.

My date got postponed, no biggie. It's still happening ^^ Just at the right time, God willing. 

I still play too much Flight Rising, and on the computer in general, though my main focus of today was creating these two outfits which..if in any way it looks easy...it is NOOOTTT. 

I love Scrubs. I roleplay Dr. Cox in my head nonstop and it's amusing. If you ever see his character, you know what I mean. The perfect sass and sarcasm, lol.

I suppose that's my news. I just wanted to get it out there. It's 1:26 a.m. so...yeah.

God Bless, Jesus loves, lives, saves. All glory, praise, thanks and all things be to God on the highest forever and ever in Jesus name, Amen! God is able!

P.S. Dreamt I was made Empress of China by marriage last night and that I went thrift shopping afterwards, incognito. The store staff, who my sister and I were discussing deals with, showed me a baby komodo dragon who snapped at you when you tried to grab a deal from the 'deal raffle' basket. A bunch of guards dressed like a SWAT team surrounded the building and frightened them and we quietly left with the guards.



Monday, July 27, 2015

Donny Knocks Again.

2:16 p.m. I slept in until some minutes ago. Donny's knocking started again, granted this is the afternoon. He knocked and nobody answered. I couldn't even open my eyes so I refused to leave the bed. A normal person assumes they are not home and tries again, unless it's something really important. For Donny, he wants only to chat and gossip about the neighbors.

He knocks again. I opened the curtain and shouted "We're SLEEPING!" I quit bothering going to the door to say it because he WILL start talking and hold me up. It's just quicker and to the point to shout it from my bedroom then close the blinds.

Anyway, after I shouted it, April goes and answers the door. It was fine. Normally, a person could go back to sleep but my room is right against the porch, where he knocks. And then there is chatter right outside my window, so I finally got up and ate some pizza waiting for me. Then I came back for this rant, which is a weekly occurrence practically, and got lent virtual currency to buy a dragon April showed me.

In other news, I chatted all in the midnight hours last night with the OkCupid dude (we did Skype while he played video games, always fun) ANNNDDD we set up a date for Winner's Circle on Friday at three o' clock. Possibly browsing the mall afterwards. I am excited about that and gonna try and keep my schedule clear for the week.

4:31 p.m. Writing and chapter editing on Chapter Four. Need to take a break lol.

5:32 p.m. Had some lunch, watched Scrubs, and hung out with our cat Carlo on the front porch. :D

6:09 p.m. Been playing online...looking up historical reconstruction of faces...nerd stuff XD. a little Flight Rising. Feeling between bored and drowsy...

7:42 p.m. I have been in a rut lately. It's that thing where you WANT to do something, but can't. Feeling lonely. Rob is asleep and April is in no mood for any company. Oi. Me.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Calm Your Selfies.

2:03 p.m. Pretty sad when I have a dream about JRM dying young, when today is actually his BIRTHDAY!! Nonetheless, thank God he lives. Happy birthday, dude. He'll always be my favorite actor in some way or another. XD

Anyway!! Last night wasn't anything too important. Wound up going to April's Mom's and setting up her graphics card and coming home and sleeping. Other than that, I was playing too much Flight Rising again...like I have been this week. Been talking too much politics.

My date may be coming up so I'm excited about that.

In other news, I woke up to find the house mysteriously empty and no sign even of the cats. Turned out later they had gone to help fix April's Mom's computer but in the meantime I surfed and played Flight Rising and whatnot.

Been feeling emptyish lately. I know WHY. I just haven't been doing much to change it. I sometimes feel like I'm on the edge, or over the edge, into complete idolatry because I'm giving so many hours to things that mean absolutely nothing. Makes me half-sad, half-happy to do it and I'm constantly rebuking myself for it, while still doing it. I still feel the love of God, Christ Jesus, inside me though. That's re-assuring.

I've been thinking of Mom lately. She hasn't seen me in a good long while. Jen is moving out and for the first time in 28 years she will have a completely empty nest. 28 years. DJ has moved out, so have I, and her last and oldest child Jen is close to doing so. Amazing.

6:07 p.m. Nothing much in the past four hours. Internet, Cara Delevinge GIFS and hot dogs and macaroni while watching Scrubs. Oh, and Cats. Cats. :) P.S. I may or may not have gone back to Neopets as well...

12:05 a.m. I napped until 11something p.m. I made pizza for Rob and I, April is asleep, and I'm chatting on OkCupid. :D Yay!

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Bloop.

5:00 p.m. So! Yesterday I made a new painting and made a couple not so great attempts at new drawings, which went unfinished. We went grocery shopping this morning at like 7 a.m. and then came back and....I went to bed until 4 p.m. Had food, watched Scrubs, washed clothes, played online and here I am.


It reminds Rob of a zombie and April, of a clown with blood. This is one of those made to be open to interpretation. :D

5:07 p.m. We also got sandpaper for a small project I worked on where I pasted Marilyn Monroe's image on a small block of wood. It was cheap and didn't work so well, the sandpaper, I mean.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Monday, July 20, 2015

A Couple Blurbs Before I Forget Too Much.

  • Harmony and Aaliyah came over today. It went well. They played play doh and hung out with our neighbor, Lavidia. Also, saw the animals. :) Jen also finally took the toddler bed.
  • Long naps.
  • I had nightmares until 5 a.m., stayed up with April until 9 a.m. and Donny knocked, then April chatted with him. I fell asleep several hours and dreamt I chatted online with JRM just before Jen showed up.
  • Watched Scrubs and fished for the first time in forever on Secondlife. Ruined a pizza when I dropped it out of the oven, then onto the floor. I ate hot dogs instead.
  • Been feeling like writing.


Sunday, July 19, 2015

I Slept In and Dreamt A Lot

2:06 p.m. I slept until 1:42 p.m. I had a dream where I went with a large group on a trip to the bahamas and stuff happened, then we left, and forgot one passenger, african american woman weighing around 230 pounds, (mentioning because it's relevant to what happens next) who was in the doctor's office, healing. People around her told her it happens all the time and she should get used to being there.

It flashes to a year later where she get a reunion with her family. She is dressed like an African 'queen' (term used to mean the power her stylishness, not regency) and about a hundred pounds slimmer because of the wonderful diet in that country. Her sisters are amazed she is home!

In another dream, one of a couple about Aaliyah, I dreamt AGAIN Aaliyah was dropped off here without my being informed beforehand and again, I thought it was real.

In another dream, her and I were shopping and she got caught stealing a necklace. I had to go into the security office with her and since she was just a child, they decided to be lenient with her and not jail/fine her. I can't remember what they decided to do but I pleaded for me to take her punishment instead and they said they legally couldn't do that.

I went to the jewelry store to ask which necklace had been stolen and I was shown it, being told it was a common model with varieties in slight difference. A simple chain with a small green gem on the pendant. Suddenly, the entire store crowded around me and wanted to buy this necklace, and so we did.

In another part of the dream, I was walking around this outdoor mall, thinking of how much I've done in the dream and how long it's been, then said to myself 'all that's left now is to run into Jonathan Rhys Meyers.' And then, he shows up out of nowhere, walking in my direction. lol.

Not only that, since I fell out of obsession a while back, my brain has started to distort some of his real life features...like in the sense that it tries SO hard to get what his features look like today that it distorts him almost into someone else (facially) still has the same spiky black hair. AND his accent was wrong, again.

Anyway, I got a picture with him and then a second version f him shows up soon after and I do the same.

In another dream, I was in this big house and taking care of Harmony and Zackary. I remember conflicting with him in the dream, but I don't know why.

In ANOTHER dream. this is all in one day mind you, I was going on yet another tropical vacation and had a toddler with me. I went in this large pod that looks like the back of an army supply airplane  i.e. HUGE and sat down. They were treating the toddler special and giving him little gifts, then they were made to remember all the other little kids in the audience.

That's all I got so far. I got up and had hot dogs, surfed social networks, and watched Scrubs. More later...Oi.

3:09 p;m. After looking kinda sad because I couldn't decide on what to do with my day, I decided to get a little work done on a drawing I began and left alone last week. Now I'm not in the mood for it either. :/ Oi. My life. On the plus side, it seems to be coming along alright.


5:16 p.m. Too much Flight Rising. Need a bathroom break, then I need to write. But first, Mrs. M needs here mail....

5:32 I changed  litter boxes. I'm off to April's Moms.

8:50 p.m. Aaliyah is coming for a few hours tomorrow AND we just got back from April's Mom's house. We chatted about SL and had dinner. I played some computer games. All good.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Catching Up On Some Days.

8:40 a.m. July 16th, we went on a surprise trip to the grocery store AND I finally updated my journal on Blurb. July 17th, yesterday, I made two new items for the SL marketplace, which was exhausting. I also had this dream then that Aaliyah was dropped off for a weekend without notice and I thought it was real. all I really recall from that one was she went to play with Lavidia. Both days I stayed up until morning and slept until the afternoon. Those are the highlights. Today, I just woke up.

12:40 p.m. Played Flight Rising, Had a shower, and re-edited The Dream Doctor (yes, I'm editing it again and LOVING IT!) I'm not sure if this book will ever be truly finished. After that, I looked at writing tips on Pinterest. Need to eat soon loves. Bye, God bless. Jesus saves!

1:30 p.m. It's stormy out. Playing Flight Rising.

2:30 p.m. Took a good computer break, ate something, watched...erm..okay not so much a break....Youtube. SPN Season 10 goofs and seeing what's coming in August 2015 (Really wish they would stick Josie and the Pussycats up there, lol)

Today is a writing day. I will be researching and writing. :D Happy!!! God bless, Jesus loves, lives, saves homies!

5:43 p.m. After the research, I got down to editing Chapter Two, which I just finished and I'm happy to say it's done. Praise Jesus! :D Taking a nice long break...

7:16 p.m. Made bacon and pizza, then watched Scrubs. We just got news that our landlord is selling the properties, which means we will have a new landlord. We are all kinda worriesd because, before, our current landlord gave us security that we can stay and root here and now, this new landlord can come and if they don't like us, we are gone. We aren't prepared for a move.

We aren't kicked out, by any means. This is just worst case scenario here...Oi.

P.S. April has gone to her parents for the weekend so now I'm playing on her computer, lol.

9:47 p.m. Did some more editing and now partying on SL! WOOO!

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Instead of a Diary...

12:31 p.m. Every now and then, I update my journals by answering a long list of questions. Since there are so many, instead of writing about my doings today and saving that for tomorrow, I will be answering some questions about life to look back on years from now. Cool? 


  1. What is something you dislike about yourself? Being the disciplinarian, I hate it. My voice gets stuck in this strict firm tone and I have to worry about keeping everything neat and in order...and staying on watch. But I often end up stressed, and worst case scenario, crying. It's not a side of myself I like...or that seems like who I really am inside.
  2. What is something you do well? Creative things. I'm getting better at crafts lately. I can draw, watercolor, and use other mediums. I write. Talents aside, I'm well at being compassionate and trying to forgive everybody...even if I fall short on it once or twice.
  3. What is your favorite room in your home and why? My room. It is a silent sanctuary to gather my thoughts, alone. I've grown to love silence as much as food and water.
  4. What is a good neighbor? Someone who will be there for you no matter what.
  5. What is your favorite time of day? Night time, going to bed until morning....or erm, afternoon.
  6. What is something you are optimistic about? The future. I try to see that things will work out if I trust God. I'm not the type to let the cons outweigh the pros enough to stop me, if I can do anything about it.
  7. What is something you are pessimistic about? I hate profanity, gore, and adulterous sexually themed things. Someone oughta pull a plug and flush all of it out of existence.
  8. What is your most indispensable possession and why? My heart. There will only be one.
  9. What is your favorite song and why? Well, I don't know to call it a favorite but I got that "I'm Madonna" song in my head...and Thomas Sanders' rendition of Sally's Song. The way he sings it makes me want to cry happy tears, lol.
  10. What is the best birthday present you ever received? Hmm, I've had so many it's hard for one to stick out. Probably the year I got to take my family to Old Town and had pizza. We rarely do things with all of us, very rarely, (I don't think a picture of all of us has existed for quite a few years now) but that was the best gift to enjoy.
  11. What is the best birthday present you could receive? A week-long trip to London.
  12. What is something that makes you feel sad? Atheists, most of them anyway, and people who segregate what is proper by race, gender, nationality, etc. and feel justified with it.
  13. What is your favorite book and why? Again, so many. The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood was definitely tough to put down but the top spot goes to 'This Fabulous Century 1920-1930.'
  14. What is something that really bugs you? Again, profanity.
  15. What is something that really makes you angry? Being ignored, treated as if I'm invisible.
  16. What is the best advice you ever received? Stop worrying about what others think.
  17. What is your favorite holiday? What makes this holiday special? Thanksgiving because...birthday. Close one is Christmas because I REALLY get into decorating, gift planning, and again it's the rare occasion for all the family to gather together and be merry. I think we have very little Holiday drama in my family.
  18. What is your favorite day of the week? Why? Saturdays, lately, because that is when we go grocery shopping and believe it or not, is the one day we all seem to get out of the house.
  19. What is your favorite month? Why? See question 17.
  20. What would happen if you could fly whenever you wanted? When would you use this ability? I'd take in the amazing views and try to be careful not to run into anything that could hurt me.
  21. What would happen if there were no television? Why would this be good? bad? We could live without television in this day and age. Things are streaming free online, the best things, anyway. 
  22. What would happen if everyone lived in space? What type of houses would they live in? We would all be in danger. Can you imagine incidents of people floating away from the planet, unable to be helped? Forget the houses. Get back to Earth!
  23. What type of clothing would they wear? What type of food would they eat? How would they travel? SSPPPPAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCEEEEEEEE food, clothes, and travel.
  24. What if cows gave root beer instead of milk? I don't see the relevance in this question. I first thought it said, what if WE gave cows root bear instead of milk. My answer would have been not to test that theory.
  25. What if all the streets were rivers? What would be different? These questions are becoming less relevant. 
  26. What would happen if it really did rain cats and dogs? Skip.
  27. What would happen if animals could talk? What are some of the questions you would like to ask animals? Skip.
  28. What would happen if you grew taller than trees? How would this change your life? Skip.
  29. What would happen if there were no cars, buses, trains, boats, or planes? How would this change your life? We'd all be more fit because we'd be walking more.
  30. What would happen if you found gold in your backyard? Depends on how much. I'd sell it, tithe it, and apply it to whatever was most important to me.
  31. What would you do if you did very poorly on a test? Cry. This has happened several times.
  32. What would you do if a friend borrows things from you but never returns them? Let it go.
  33. What would you do if you woke up in another country and no one could understand you? Panic, realistically. I wouldn't know how to get home.
  34. What would you do if someone got in front of you when you were in line at the movies? Let it go and pray.
  35. What would you do if someone said you did something wrong and you didn’t? I would be offended, angry, or cry, but I would mostly be quiet about it. On the flip side, there's nothing that bothers me more than when I do something people want but it goes unacknowledged until I mess up.
  36. If you could only take 3 people with you on a trip around the world, who would you take and why? April, Rob, and just us. I think we would all make it the most fun for each other. I love my family, but we need to get closer and relate better.
  37. If you were five years older you would…be living in 2020. I have a hard time seeing how my circumstances would improve such as being able to get a job, drive, etc. But God has a plan.
  38. If you were lost in the woods and it got dark, what would you do? Wander aimlessly for fear if I stay in one spot, some animal would get me or get eaten up by bugs. Cry...a lot. Just being very very afraid until I made a way out or was rescued.
  39. If you owned a store, what would you do to discourage people from stealing from you? Low prices and giving things away.
  40. If you could break the Guiness Book of Records it would be for? Things I could only accomplish in my dreams.
  41. If you had to describe yourself as a color, which would you choose? Hot pink. You can google what the color means, it's just the color that suits me best. My favorite.
  42. If your friend told you of a secret plan to run away from home, what would you do and why? I don't believe they would listen to reason and reconcile with their family. I would ask them, thoroughly how prepared they were: Food, water, cash, shelter etc.
  43. What do you think about ghosts? I don't think that spirits can possibly remain on earth after death. If that were the case, where would the justice/reward be for deeds we did? Shouldn't we all receive what was a result of our life actions? I think so. As far as photos, and whatnot, I do think there is unexplained phenomena. I also think there are demons on earth that hurt people and need expelling (it even says there were in the Bible, come on) but I can't explain photographs stuff. I think what people think are ghosts or spirits of loved ones are merely demons posing as such to lead people into actions separated from God.
  44. What do you think of someone who has bad manners? I don't find them pleasant to be around. The worst offenders are those who casually both swear and do lewd things around little children, without a care.
  45. What do you think about people who take advantage of others? Forgive them.
  46. What do you think about when you can’t fall asleep? I try to pray. I mostly also think about my fictional characters and laugh at their slapstick scenarios.
  47. What do you think courage means? Doing what others may not do, in order to go the extra mile for a person.
  48. What do you think makes a good friend? Honesty, respect, trust, love, and mercy.
  49. What do you think makes a happy family? Communication. Deep and thorough communication.
  50. What pollutants do you think do the most damage and why? Cigarette smoke, for obvious reasons.
  51. What things do you think are beautiful? Pink things, pink and black together. And being out in nature, on an unrelated note.
  52. What do you like most about yourself? Christian beliefs.
  53. What kind of trophy would you like to win? Meh, not interested. 
  54. What does “The early bird gets the worm” mean to you? Get somewhere early and achieve your goals by doing so.
  55. What do we mean when we say, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”? I use it to try to see the bright side of things.
  56. What do we mean when we say, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”? Being kind and humble, merciful, will get you far.
  57. What does “There are two sides to every coin” mean to you? I don't know. Maybe that people are capable of both good and evil?
  58. What are junk foods? Things high in sugar, cholesterol, calories, sodium, and saturated fats. 
  59. What are some nutritious foods that you like? Kale, spinach, apples, bananas, cucumber, oats, nuts, etc.
  60. What is more important to you, appearance or personality? Appearances fade, then decay in death. Being a good person is remembered for a lot longer than having a pretty face.
  61. What is something that makes you melancholy? Being Lackadaisical.
  62. What makes you laugh? My characters in my imagination.
  63. What would you invent to make life better? Usable currency to get loans paid off and have health insurance.
  64. What would you do to entertain your family without spending any money? Communicate.
  65. What effects do cigarette and alcohol advertising have on young people? The same effect any other advertising has, only with things that can add extra damage, often irreversible, to the body.
  66. What has been the most fun activity at school so far this year? I haven't attended school since 2008.
  67. What quality do you like about yourself–creativity, personality, appearance–why? I use my creativity most in my everyday life.
  68. What eccentric behavior in a friend disturbs you the most? Unwillingness to give up control.
  69. What parts of nature do you like best? The wind and the sun.
  70. How do you feel when your parents are upset with you? Depressed. They are rarely, if ever, upset with me though.
  71. How would you change the world to make it better? Give and forgive.
  72. Explain how to play your favorite game. Just go to FlightRising.com (Signups open on July 20th) and learn how yourself.
  73. Which place would you most like to visit–Africa, China, Alaska–why? London. I would be in awe of their dreary skies and immaculately kept historic buildings. I love the accents, the fashion, the idea of what the air itself may be like there.
  74. Which is least important to you–money, power, fame–and why? All of these things mean nothing. They may get some people what they desire most in the world, along with a temporary high, but it never lasts.
  75. Where would you prefer to be right now–mountains, desert, beach–and why? All three, to be honest. I've never seen a desert or mountains and haven't been to the beach in quite a few years. 
  76. Why is it important to be honest? So people will trust you, and it will get you farther in life when people can count on you. You'll feel better about yourself and it's just the right thing to do.
  77. Why is important to have good manners? Same reasons as it is to be honest.
  78. Why should or shouldn’t a man stay home to care for the house and children while his wife goes to work? If either one wants to, let them. It's not the 50's anymore.
  79. Why do you think tact is an important quality? I don't know.
  80. Why is it not wise to squander your money? Because it won't be there when you really need it most.
  81. Do you think it is necessary to have alcohol at a party in order to have a good time? Nope. Alcohol can do horrible things to the character of people. Regrettable things. Don't drink and drive....or TEXT...while driving which is just as bad, if not worse.
  82. Should there be a dress code in places such as school, restaurants, and places of business? Absolutely. Although I think it could lighten up a bit. In this day and age, a woman's shoulders (for some reason people don't mind this with men bearing arms) have no sexual function or purpose, and therefore don't need to cover up. 
  83. Should animals be used for medical research? As long as they are kept in a clean and sanitary environment, that includes a proper housing for them, not a tiny cage, then fine. Also, no purposeful torture experiments. Finally, It's better than testing on humans and risking their lives.
1:35 p.m. Note: Took me an hour to finish and read over this. Brilliant.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Liberties...

11:08 a.m. Yesterday I began my dollhouse, after April encouraged me not to feel so childish about it. I also got started on making a watercolor journal which involves the hard work of book binding...already done just the paper needs to be glues into the book.

This morning was crazy. Donny knocked on our door at the crack of dawn, asking if I wanted a job and rambling about it. I had just woken up from this and I kept saying we need sleep and wanted to tell him not to knock so early but he just kept insistently talking about it and then when I tried to close the door, he GRABBED the door and refused to let me close it until he was finished. I was scared.

Then, I wound up having a nightmare where I woke up to Donny coming in my room, in my face, waking me up to talk about things and then finding out it was because we now let him come in the house whenever he wanted, just because he wanted to.

We let Donny take a few liberties. We let him rest on our grass and knock whenever he wants or sit on the porch. But, for him to feel entitled to grab the door, with him thinking nothing of it, and keep me from closing goes a bit too far, let alone flat out scary. I called Judy, who said he is out of his head since he lost his dog, but someone has to talk to him.

April and Rob seem reluctant to do it because there is a rumor that if Donny is mad at you, he will take your mail from your mailbox and throw it away, reportedly having done this before. Yes, he checks everyone's mail and brings it to them. It's a nice gesture, but some have asked him to stop and he still does it....then gave up asking and just let it go.

3:38 p.m. Four hours and I'm still thinking of that incident this morning. All I'm wanting is for someone to confront him about this, not me, since I can't understand him.

Anyway, I finished my handmade watercolor book and praising God, it came out well. Wasn't easy. Lost my glue gun and then found it hiding on my bookshelf, THEN lost the glue STICKS to it...several times...but other than that it was mostly uneventful....and happy. I was thinking of that incident though...


Anyway..again. I sat outside and had some hot dogs. Feels like it's gonna rain so it was nice. I've also been feeling really drowsy today. And there are so many projects I could be doing like finishing my sketch, finishing the doll house, cutting doll house parts, doing watercolors, making SL clothes but it seems like I don't want to do any of those things. I do..but I don't. So many projects...Oi. Well, finished the handmade book was something. Perhaps this should all be taken a day at a time.

4:26 p.m. April is in kind of a mood. She just woke up and her computer is running slow. Waiting for things to settle down into 'being okay.'

EDIT: She eventually felt better. Some time after, I played SecondLife with her, ALL day and night. Oi.

Sometimes when I've had a bad day or just haven't gotten things right, I repeat to myself the words "God still loves me no matter what" and it makes the most amazing feeling, instantaneously, that nothing else on this earth can replicate. How can people say God is not real when this kind of thing happens? Science isn't going to explain this away. It is pure, genuine, REALITY. I challenge any one of you to try saying it a few times, just a few seconds, even in your head, and see if you feel it too. God is real.
Jesus died, rose, and saves. smile emoticon But we all know that. ^^

Monday, July 13, 2015

Wild Dreams and Such.

9:06 a.m. So I just woke up. I went to bed around midnight, woke at 5 and slept again. The first part of my dream was JRM and Mara driving around, playing. She would drive and he'd hang outside of the driver door and they playfully smacked each other.

I was a bit evil. I had a little girl with me and we were working a scam. Long story short, we tried to make it look like he nearly hit her. Really the scam was an excuse to get close to him. The longer we stayed and things went on, the more suspicious he got. Until finally, when we were leaving, he was asking questions she couldn't honestly answer without bumbling.

So he started chasing us down the street. I was practically outside of my body and he caught the woman who would have been me and pinned her down. I screamed at the top of my lungs for help and I remember someone stopping.

The next thing I remember was being at a police station, separated from the little girl who was actually my daughter, and getting searched.

Then it cut to another scene at someone's house which was also a place where they made wedding dresses. I was gathering my things and somehow, while talking to the women, especially the head seamstress who was a thin blonde woman, they decided excitedly to make me a free dress. They immediately examined me and tried to work out which dress suited my body type. I gave them free reign over their creativity, which made them more excited.

The next part of the dream I recall is talking to some voice about JRM. He was in a bed somewhere, thinking, and I was told to see what he was thinking about. At first glance it was just a carnival, I looked for only a brief second. Another voice said, "Jesus Rejoices" somewhere around this point.

I was told to look again. This time I saw the detail. Pieces of the carnival rides were made out of words, lit up in lights, describing emotion and mood. I don't remember what they were exactly but I do recall seeing him on the merry go round, where among the phrases painted under his feet, he was sitting above the one that said 'I think I'm doing alright.'

At this point, there is a double of himself, as me, and he is confronting me about the scam and all I can do, from this outside point of view, is stare at him because...he's handsome. Let's be honest. And then I was pointing out my 'favorite' actor  to someone else in the house, as he made a speech to someone while wearing his big fluffy tan parka. He looked as he did in Dracula AND for once he had his accent. I almost always dream of the Irishman where he has an American accent and for once it was his actual, well more British like really, voice.

That's the last part I remember before biting into a piece of chocolate, was waking up. As if the sugar in the chocolate sprung my brain awake, as if I really ate it.

This sparks the memory of an earlier dream where I was trying to give either Aaliyah or Harmony something to drink instead of soda and I remember making something with juice, honesy, and something else but she wouldn't drink it.

If I remember more I'll let you know.

I got Flight Rising and SL plans today. Need more goals. I was gonna simply 'brain dump' these dreams but it was still so fresh in my memory, I had no idea how long I could hold onto it as opposed to writing it now...that an my composition notebook is missing and I worried that looking for it may erase some memory of the dream as well.

10:48 a.m. After all that was done, I took some time to handle chores. Change the litter box, take out the trash, and clean up as much of the mess made during Aaliyah's stay as possible. The house is still a mess, the dishes are still dirty, and floors still need to be swept but I hope I'll be getting to that later.  Also, I think we are out of garbage bags. It's a shame when you run out on cleaning day, huh? P.S. Trying to get back to regularly updating entries. We'll see how that goes....God Willing. God bless, Jesus loves, lives, rejoices, and saves as always. P.S. I always feel better when I can look up to God and remember He loves me no matter what...I've been kind of on the bad side lately and I repent, but I know this fact is true.

11:44 a.m. Spent some time on Pinterest and collected quite a photo references of cara delevinge, my new muse. So yeah, I'm drawing today. Maybe...mmmaaayyybbbeee but not sure...taking a break from developing on SecondLife today. P.S. Got invited to a breast cancer walk by my family, not sure if I'm going yet or not. It's in October, by the way.

1:02 p.m. Well, that was fine. Time flew by. Definitely not thinking this is a 'one day' kind of drawing....which is good. More detail. I'm noticeably improving, praise Jesus. God is good and able, ya'll. Bye!


4:01 p.m. I finally got around to seeing that film, Stand By Me, and took mail to Mrs. M. P.S. Made pasta.

4:54 p.m. Furthered work on the drawing, slow and steady...


8:18 p.m. Finished a new watercolor painting and for once, since I can remember, I FRAMED IT!! I give glory to God on this one but today has showed me that I've really been improving. I'm a HUGE amateur with watercolors and this one is probably my favorite work with this medium so far. It'll be a huge accomplishment to sell even one artwork one day. I'll get to a stage, hopefully, where they are good enough to sell one day. Fun fact: Nobody has ever bought my art. lol.


Sunday, July 12, 2015

Brand New Day

8:21 a.m. Back to normal. I have plans for another SL creation today, but I got on my laundry first and editing yesterday's entry. Had a total nightmare, literally, last night. I dreamt that there was a small hole in my face, with a pimple inside and when I tried to pop the pimple, it swelled into a huge purple boil that foamed. And the dream goes that I went to try and find a doctor.

In another dream, I was running hand in hand with Shelby down a hallway, which turned into woods, and we could hear what sounded like swords clashing and we went to see what it was. We walked through a door to a room and an entire soccer team is there...there men were very tan, although I cannot say or what race or nationality, they were muscular with long black hair, muscles, and broken English.

Anyway, upon my entering, one, and they all look exactly alike mind you, jumps up and says he will immediately give me five million dollars to be his wife for five years. I accepted at first, then was later questioning it. Five years is a long time for someone you're not in love with. So I tried to negotiate for two, though I still worried that this was wrong. I can't remember if he accepted or not.

More of my life soon...I just woke up. Need a shower after the laundry is done.



10:15 p.m. Today I made another dress, (and made arrangements to do another one) like I wanted. I played on Flight Rising and Pinterest, and got that shower I was wanting. All glory, praise, thanks, and all things be to God on the highest forever and ever in Jesus Name, Amen! God is able!

Saturday, July 11, 2015

July 9-10. Then today.

9:57 a.m. Too much pinterest, saving both drawing and SL creation ideas mostly. I did sneak on SL once in a while to play as well.

We went grocery shopping yesterday. Also, used up the sparklers.









I videotaped Aaliyah dancing a couple days ago. She watches video clips from those 'Just Dance' video games or whatever they are called. ^^ She also played with our neighbor Lavidia outside and in the pool, so that was good for her. 

I made homemade play doh for her which, though I thought she was leaving here, she is going to take home. That household forbids play doh, however, on the grounds that it leaves smudges on furniture. It's not even allowed to be gifted to children in my immediate family. Sorry, Jen.

It took some urging to get her picked up today, and not a day late. :D We need to get back our adult time, all of us. We love her but her energy drains ours. But she is packed and supposedly leaving this afternoon. I CANNOT wait to get back to SecondLife designing. I have a LONG queue of things I want to make, ya know?

Me:

I'll have to finish sewing her dress something special. Until then, I gave her my McDonalds Barbie (which WAS going to be a collectible) that she begged to have.

But anyway, while the other day was about Aaliyah having fun in the sun, yesterday was her hanging out with April and me on pinterest too much.

ALSO, I brought up to Mom that I couldn't believe the last time we had a family cruise was four years ago and next thing I know, she and her friends are making Facebook posts about it on my dashboard. lol.

Still have not updated Seize. I'm out of clothes, and laundry detergent, which they forgot when they went shopping yesterday. I'll have to borrow from Donny. The living room and my room is a mess, which I will wait to clean after Aaliyah gets picked up.

Shes into computer games April set up for her on the computer, such as doll dress up games and taking care of towns...something like that.

5:52 p.m. Aaliyah went home almost an hour ago. FINALLY!!! She's hung out with April and I and been on the computer all day. Grandpa could not fit the bed in the car so it has to stay here for now.

Mere minutes after she was gone, I got a text from Mema asking me to come stay over. I politely declined. Love her, though. I had one week of Aaliyah AND Harmony, a week to myself, and another Aaliyah-filled week which I was barely done sighing with relief about ending...so I can get my projects done. But yeah. I can't wait. I'm just REALLY wanting to be home, with friends, alone, for a good LONG while. Oi.

In other news, we are keeping one  of the kittens, Jelly (not the one pictured) because he is, pun intended, a scaredy-cat. He is very afraid of everything except his Mom, Hissy, and we want the best kind of home for him...here. With the one thing he can cling to for safety. He's cool with us, but still a skittish kitty. It is for the best, for his own well being. 

EDIT: Got straight away on making my newest creation, which was worth the wait:




Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Mystery








Today we:
Had a trip to the park where we played and met a sweet stray cat.
Played with sparklers.
April gave me a nap for a couple hours.
Made Apple Jacks marshmallow treats.
Visited Mrs. M, who sang and played her guitar and gave Aaliyah a cookie and crackers. 
I downloaded my Instgram videos.
Stressed...


Aaliyah has this seriously bad habit of, every time I tell her to do something:
Whining and pouting.
Telling me how she wants thinks it should be.
Questioning it.
Making me repeat myself. 
Delaying what she is told to do.

Stressed.

 Few more days.

Other than that, she is a good kid.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Overview: July 6-7, 2015

Pictures to come.

We've been:
Making a princess dress for Aaliyah...still.
She visited Mrs. M recently and got free ice cream there, and asked about her garden. She was very inquisitive but enjoyable company to the elderly woman. A delight in her 'princess' dress which seemed more vintage to me.










She has also met, and enjoys, Donny, the man who sleeps on our lawn some afternoons and checks/delivers everyone's mail...also a frequent frequent frequennttttttt knocker on our door.

Lots of crafts such as glittering pine cones, 'nature bottles', and her sketchbook. She used up all my glitter and glue, lemme tell ya.






We took our last LONG walk to the park. It wore her out to much, as much as she'd want to go back. Also, the other day, a random VERY smiley Asian woman approached and hugged us both there, and gave her a kids book on dogs and brochures about zoos and parks.

She slept in this morning, which is a rarity. She had a strawberry shake tonight. I had a bath soak, lol.
Been feeling the stress but it passes. Pray for me.

We watch a lot of Youtube, Netflix, and Hulu. (Fresh Off The Boat.) She loves videos of people baking, playing with toys, and play doh. She also loves the song "If I Die Young."

April was supposed to show tonight but didn't.

Still have not updated my journal though I've had much opportunity, even now as she is asleep and I'm getting my alone time. I also finally watched Mommie Dearest tonight, which was not nearly as frightening as the more detailed book. 

Aaliyah does not like the film 'The Others' because it was too dark and hard to see the children's faces, ironically. But we did watch The Emporer's New Groove...she's eager to see the sequel.

Playing SecondLife right now on April's computer.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Summing Up Past Few Days.

 5:17 a.m.

July 3:
New SL Dress
Played SL a LOT.

July 4:
Waited for Aaliyah all day.
Grocery shopped. McDonalds.
She painted, played at the park Glittered a pine cone and her book cover, Played with Sparklers, watched Youtube, played Neopets, had a bubble bath, and we watched Cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2
I got Seize!!! It came out beautiful! Phone was dead and in my purse, which I left in the car, so unfortunately, no pictures.

July 5: Awake.

10:47 a.m. Went back to sleep and gave Aaliyah breakfast. She did some more glitter art afterwards and now we're just chilling on the laptops. I need a shower though, lol. I also need to come up with some more kids crafts. ^^

EDIT: Today we did arts and crafts. went to the park, relaxed, watched some Youtube, Fresh Off the Boat, Netflix, and would up sleeping in April's vacant room (colder). Cleaned my room a bit today as well and read a new book..forget the title though..it was an easy book.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Le Sigh...Le Pooh.

8:26 a.m. Kinda wasted half a day yesterday before finally making another SL creation. I spent some of my last few dollars to get Lindens to make it. I think it came out alright. ^^ The dress, I mean.

Once again, my brain did the thing yesterday. I was thinking I hadn't dreamed of JRM in a while and then I went and did it that night. Most of it was Bend it Like Beckham themed. There was another part where he came in the house and visited friends. For some odd reason, he picked me up laughing and swung me around. It felt kinda awkward...his mouth was like wide open and my dream version of him, on analyzing, made him pretty funny looking. Once again, I was dreaming of this full-on Irish man with an American accent. I congratulated him on his engagement. etc. Can't go into much more detail.


I also arranged for Aaliyah to come join me for the week on Saturday. :D I could say more on that but I won't just yet...

Last night, I dreamt I was back in school. With Napoleon Dynamite. BRB.

10:59 a.m. After a very long, and very hard, group talk, we finally agreed on the terms of Aaliyah staying here. It should be fine. ^__^ That's about all I can say. P.S. Part of me REALLY wants to do another SL creation while another is wary of it...hard work. My newest stuff has not been selling, unfortunately. Should probably eat something.

EDIT:

  • Handmade a sketchbook book for Aaliyah.
  • Tried to fix some pants to make them fit, then they fit too big. :/
  • Seize finally arrived at Mom's. YAY! Jen will drop is off with Aaliyah on Saturday.
  • I got a Second Life dress commission from April so I look forward to that.
  • We had bacon and cheese hamburgers with egg salad for dinner, yum!
  • Surfed Pinterest for activity ideas for Aaliyah. And more clothing ideas for SL.

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