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Thursday, June 25, 2015

Tiff And Make-Up.

7:57 a.m. I feel like this is the first morning I've had to myself since I arrived. It's perfectly quiet. EVERYONE is still asleep. Jen is here today so that's an ease on my part. I got my laundry drying and had leftovers. I drank iced tea. Sugar, quite a bit, I know. I hope to get back on the right track after home. It's almost like I'm taking a vacation here from the rules of a healthy lifestyle. My body seems outwardly fine. I thought I'd turn into a blimp but I feel like my normal self. Maybe not AS skinny as I was, but normal.

It's funny, I had a dream last where I spent the whole thing re-arranging things and furniture in the house. Organizing. The house, also, unfortunately, was roach infested but I didn't seem to care (which is unusual because I have in every other dream I've had) but anyway, yeah. I moved the couches into more a triangle position in the living room and stuck a coffee table in the center. I unloaded boxes from the cloest to see what I wanted in there.

Meanwhile, Clarissa (who I haven't seen since Christmas) [insert picture] was being talked to by an unseen man about her training into having the job as the new official babysitter of the house. I guess that at least says something about my life, I don't know.

I hope things are better today. I have three days left. THREE days!!! Then I can go home. I do realize, however, that it's not entirely a 'day off.' I'm the babysitter of the kids until Jen wakes up. Thankfully, they are asleep right now so I get a calm quiet start to the morning before a 'firm tone voiced' babysitter mode kicks in. Hopefully, I'll be better about the chores.

Zackary wasn't wrong when he said I was kind 'lax' (my words) on them around here. I do laundry and I was my dish 'sometimes' but I would like to give it a try on doing a better job. My biggest issue though is kitchen work though because, like I said, there is no air conditioning and my options are: Hovering over a hot stove, running my hands through hot water as I wash dishes (with hot steam rising on my face) and believe it or not, the fridge is not designed for cold air to hit your face everytime you open it. It's more like a cold fan hitting from the waist down. I repeat: NO air conditioning in the kitchen. Not even an open window (it's screened, too) See why I'm not jumping for joy when I have to do it? lol.

12:39 p.m. Well, I finished a drawing I started when I got here. That was a great plus. I feel like it was my best so far. The kids are up. Zackary and I fought. I feel like he's guilt-tripping me for the house being a mess, in a tone that seems to blame me for not keeping the whole house up. We have two kids here, remember? (He also says the flies are because the house is messy and I tell you it's because the doors and windows are left open all the time. Fly plague outside means fly plague inside.) Also, not cooking exactly when he wants. He called me lazy because I wanted to make ramen instead of ground turkey. Gets upset at me when I try to break away from the situation because I don't need to be fighting with a fourteen year old. It's better I just walk away. I think this is going to make my stay harder, just when the kids were being more behaved, he starts to butt heads with me. Three more days. Three more days. Three more days. No more. I'll forgive.

12:55 p.m. I don't want the frustration and anger to be there but it's not going away. All I can tell myself is 'Three more days. Three more days. Three more days.' I fear if this rivalry is just beginning, it's gonna excellent. It seems like I can't just have one day here where nothing went wrong. If your were frustrated for an entire week straight (an unlikely event when I'm home) then you would know the feel.

It's just the fact when someone doesn't get that you are a certain way. You're gonna act a certain way. And to keep pushing against that is only going to make the situation worse. My process is to GET AWAY from the situation, give me a few minutes ALONE to breathe, then we'll talk it out and get over it. If I'm gonna get flack for trying to get away from a fight, interrupting my process, then it's gonna make things harder. I do NOT want to stay and fight. I WANT to get away, and will try any way I know how, and after I've breathed we can talk it out when I've calmed down. Understand the process, respect it. It's how I am, who I am, and how I act.

Jen said she'll talk to him. That makes me feel a lot better. I think I can get past this now. She says not to worry about it. He's not the one I'm babysitting. If the behavior is too much of a problem, I have to talk to Joe. There. Over with. Breathe. Forgive. Move on. Simple as THAT. :)

1:59 p.m. I played with the kids and now just laid Harmony down for a nap. I'm feeling better. Aaliyah played on April's phone and computer, meanwhile. Soon, she'll be ready to be outside playing in bubbles and water all she wants.

3:39 p.m. Aaliyah and I are getting along famously today. She got to play with bubbles and in the pool, which Skyla just destroyed. I asked to come in for about ten minutes because there was a couple of wasps and we came in and she drew on the computer. It was ruined by the time we got out there! ALSO
someone left toys, presents, for Harmony and Aaliyah on our doorstep...I think it's ours at least. Aaliyah is happily playing with her Littlest Pet Shop playset now. Harmony is still asleep.  P.S. Glad I got before pics of her playing and now, after, when it was destroyed. Poor dear. Back to the creek someday it is. It's about to rain anyway.

After our tiff, Zack left on his bike. Not sure where but he hasn't been back yet. Fly plague in full force today. So much that I named my newest drawing after it.

5:38 p.m. Harmony is awake. Zack is back. And I made paper dolls and clothes with Aaliyah! Good times!!

6:39 p.m. Played with the kids, including bouncing, photos, and shadow puppets. Harmony and I played in the closet while Aaliyah played on April's phone.

7:28 p.m. Almost another hour passed. Aaliyah played with some fake guns with Zack, and is still playing...some sort of cops and robbers thing. I hung out with Harmony. She helped with laundry and she did some chalk art on the ground. :D Joe is making ribs. I can't wait for Jen to come home so I can retire. P.S. I'm glad it's the end of another day. The morning with the kids may not have been as smooth as desired, but the rest of the day seemed to pan out for the most part. I got the music to Fruit Ninja stuck in my head, lol. P.S.S. I've been up almost twelve hours so don't be surprised if I get tired soon....

In other news, I got the dishwasher stuck today but Joe fixed it when he discovered it. I got more than one complaint from Zack about dishes not being hand washed and instead being in the dishwasher when I didn't realize it was not supposed to go in there. Oi. More and more, it feels like 'You complain when I don't do it, enough, and when I do, you complain that I can't do it right.' Can anyone see the frustration here?! It's how I was feeling earlier. Kinda close to the point of 'Why should bother doing it since in your eyes I can't get anything around here done right? Makes you only complain once instead of twice, eh?' Sigh. Again, it was an earlier thing I was feeling. P.S. Joe found a ring. It may or may not be April's. I don't know.

8:39 p.m. I was gonna rant about Zackary, then we made up. Both sides apologized. My favorite result of all disagreements. The end.

9:06 p.m. After ribs, ice cream, and playing 'airplane' with both kids, I am pooped. Yay! I did it! End of the day!!!! After this, two more days and then, I'm home FAAHHREEE!! Back to lazy, lonely internet and Godly days. XD And maybe a diet. God bless, Jesus loves, lives, saves! NIGHT!!!

EDIT: Wound up using Mom's Wifi hotspot to upload Instagram photos and watch Youtube videos. SPN Parody, Fluffy Unicorns on Rainbows, Blank Space, Carly Jepson - I Really Like You, and that police officer who danced to 'Shake it Off.' And took more photos with the kids. :D It was great. I wound up going to bed past ten, with both of them. Jen came and got Harmony as soon as she was asleep and I slept comfortably with Aaliyah.

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