A Daily Diary: May 2015


Sunday, May 31, 2015

Lifestyle Change: Day Fourteen.

1:15 a.m. Ah, week two. At this point,  I have hit my plateau but however long it takes, I'm not giving up. My legs are in a better shape than I ever saw them in my entire adulthood AND I have two days to share.

Early Morning drawing. May 30.
My message to Rob.
Yesterday, I had a meltdown because I was told I would have to help my Papa urinate and I couldn't handle it. I started realizing I couldn't handle them both when they were going to be here either. Mema was getting worse and not sleeping. I was told I could head home that night but then someone needed to be here with Grandpa as Dustin had to work, so we did.

There was a harry potter marathon as well as a Marilyn documentary at the end of the night. :) on tv.

The next day, today, Grandpa reassured me on some things, saying I don't have to do the 'bathroom' thing. They've got it just help with chores and whatever else they need, which I'm willing to do. I still wanted to go home, and we worked it out to where I would come back every few days, stay a couple days, come back every few days etc. and see how that works out.

So throughout the day, I worked a little chores but Dustin and Grandpa mostly handled it all and then this afternoon, we found the kitten who had been mewing under the porch for days. Mucus had glued it's eyes shut, it was about 3 weeks old, and I
cleaned her up..let her walk around. I didn't want to leave her and April wouldn't let me take her so we had to put her back in the end.

Dad showed up when it came time to leave, just as we pulled out of the driveway, so we stayed like 15 extra minutes and I chatted health and fitness with Anna. Dad and Grandpa talked about a lawnmower. Good times. lol.

Milkshake from yesterday, lol.
Then Grandpa took me home sweet home. I didn't even unpack for once, just said hi to April and Rob a moment and slept the rest of the afternoon to now, midnight. I deeply enjoyed that sleep. No worries, side from nightmares, at all.  I missed the sweet comfort of my bed and the freedom of hours in it. Take none of this as a regret to have given up these privileges to help Papa but it is a pleasure. Oh! And there was a Jurassic Park marathon on today so that was fun.

I had a few dreams, one nightmare about being tracked by a murderous gang, in the end
I moved to an invisible mansion where I and everyone in it was invisible and they could never find me again. There was one scene where I was floating above the street and saw a trail of butterflies in the sunlight so you can imagine the peace after such a horrible nightmare.

Anyway, that is all. I can't wait for more fitness, food, and exercise for the next few days. REALLY want to absorb those walks that are like my favorite part of life right now. God bless, Jesus loves, died, rose by God the father, saved. All glory, praise, thanks, and all things be to God on the highest forever and ever in Jesus name, amen! God is able! P.S. Happy.

Friday, May 29, 2015

Lifestyle Change: Day Twelve.

5 a.m. workout on the 11th of May.
9:39 p.m. Sorry I haven't written, lately. I am on day twelve of the lifestyle change. I'm down 11 pounds, making me 177, and 1 1/2 inches on my waist depending on the time of day (literally) I look forward to breaking that 33 inch waist plateau because I have very very little memory of ever being smaller than that since early high school.

Day ten was a HARD and long workout which was at least 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Of course, there was the usual napping and eating, lol. I packed for Mema's the next day.

Workout on the 10th of May.
Day eleven I did an early morning cardio workout for about an hour and a half or more, slept, then came to mema's and helped out. I learned she has the early onset of Alzheimers which is saddening because I've heard all too many times where that illness leads. I'm told someone will inevitably have to move in to take care of them both.

Papa's brother Roy and Grandpa helped out during the day.

Dustin came to help out last night, after Grandpa left. He slept here and left in the morning. Speaking of morning, I was up until maybe 3 a.m. or so watching My 600 Pound Life: Where Are They Now and doing fitness on commercials. Then went to bed and got up to find Dustin gone this morning.

This morning, pre-work out. :D
This brings us to day twelve. I made Papa breakfast, ate my own, fetched the neighbor down the street for home, fed and walked the dog, and washed the dishes. I asked Grandpa for permission to go for a walk, which he granted. I walked all the way up to the Wal-Mart and looked at a couple of five pound weights I liked, then came home. Papa was mad at me for going out alone though, especially when he needed me here.

So! Unfortunately, I will have to give up my beloved walks for the next couple weeks, give or take. I will try to incorporate more of other exercises on my own time, though I do feel this will slow my progress. I'll have to be patient anyway as this is not some quick diet, but a lifestyle change. I just need to mind my eating as well. At the same time, I have to be here for him and that is more important.

For the life of me, I don't know what is up with my netbook today, which was freezing all over the place and I almost LOST this entry before I saved it in Wordpad. :D Praise the Lord! It's still morning and there is a long day ahead after all. It, since the time of all the freezing and typing, is now 10:05 a.m. Bye homies!

11:41 a.m. Currently just chilling, helping out Papa when needed and watching Cable TV. Caught the end of 'Catch Me If You Can' (love that film!) and watching Clueless.

I went in the bedroom to visit Papa and he wanted to let me know I can touch anything, that he's not contagious and I won't catch a disease. (He's recovering from half paralysis in his body for years now) and he started to cry so I gave him a hug and a kiss. We are all reconciled and happy, of course. ^___^ Missing mema and hope she's doing well. I am worried about her.

12:04 p.m. Helping Papa out. ^___^ I'll say one thing, getting up a lot is good exercise. Jesus rejoices.

12:46 p.m. Papa had me water Mema's flowers and Grandpa helped. I got a bit wet and dirty with the hose lol. Then a relative came by and she's going shopping, Praise Jesus. I can finally put some greens in my system (didn't bring the ones from home because they were getting old by a few days anyway) and other than that, all is well .:) I got a long week ahead and helping out two grandparents soon. Pray I stay on a healthy course in both diet, mind, spirit, and exercise. God give me strength in Jesus name, Amen! God is able!

4:40 p.m. I laid down to take a nap at 2:25 p.m. and tried to get a nap. It was okay, went by quick. Had to get up after an hour or so to help with groceries, then I was hungry. I haven't eaten properly lately. I made a fruit and veggie smoothie which tasted horrible, I don't know what I did wrong. Spinach, berries, and silk soy milk. No kale but I'll live.

I've gained a pound and an inch, mysteriously. I haven't eaten that much and what I did eat wasn't unhealthy enough to explain it. (Nuts and berries and some peanut protien meal bar.) I won't have much time for exercise. Papa is under the constant assumption that I'm bored so he keeps giving me little things to handle (no complaints) It's just a harder time than last time.

I miss home, and it's only been TWO days. I guess it's because there, I walk where and when I want, sleep when I need, eat when I want, and I'm dedicating more time to taking care of my body's needs. I don't mean to sound selfish but I miss home and still have a week to go to commit to helping out. They need the help more than I need to help myself, obviously, but it was a move I 'jumped' into amidst trying to fix myself...and now fixing myself has to slow down. Way down.  Not that I'm giving up. I have to put others first. I shall try. I get the most time to myself at night, obviously. I'm gonna try to go to bed earlier, too.

I have to remember to sweep the porch but I'd rather do it when the porch is clear (Grandpa and Papa are out there right now) and it's getting onto evening hours. There's no reason it can't be handled in the morning, of course.

5:58 p.m. Papa has permitted me to walk and down the street, so that's a nice change. :) I've been chilling out and watching bridal shows and whatnot.

6:28 p.m. Playing online and now getting off my netbook for the night. Looking to go to bed at a normal hour, lol.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Lifestyle Change: Day Nine!

6:16 a.m. It's been a nice morning! :D I've been dancing and full of energy. I had an egg white and chicken sandwich on whole wheat bread and don't think I can resist exercise today. It's not so much the water weight being any issue, I just REALLY REALLY like exercising. I'll still try to keep it light though, lol.

8:49 p.m. It has been a full day of exercise and sleep, lol. That about sums it up.

I got back from a workout and was pulled out the shower when Mom called. My mema was found wandering down  the road and picked up by police, leaving Papa at home. She's going back in the hospital. They are trying to sort everything. I'm hoping I can go back and help again once she get's out. I just can't help Papa on my own. Oi. Not to mention, I was scrambling to get Dad's number for Mom because I didn't know it. Everything will be fine. Trusting God in Jesus Name, Amen! God is able!

Monday, May 25, 2015

Lifestyle Change: Day Eight.

4:10 p.m. I got plenty of sleep, but I woke up at around 3 a.m. and played on Instagram. It was still dark out so I couldn't go out and exercise...right away. So I did some light exercising inside, ate a banana. I couldn't wait much longer and left at 5:27 a.m.

I brought the flashlight on April's smartphone so cars could see me, as it was still very dark. I walked all the way to the nature park, taking moments to rest in between.

By the time I got there, the sun was just coming up. I exercised there and left, and it took another hour to walk home. By then, I had consumed a liter and a half of water, too. I came in and showered, dressed, and attempted to use the blender (after filling it with fruits and veggies) but it wasn't budging much and sounded like I let off a leaf blower in the sleeping house. I eventually got it.

I had my smoothie and went to bed. I didn't sleep too easily though. When I did dream, it barely felt like I had fallen asleep so it took some time. I woke up around 3 p.m. ish in the afternoon. My legs were still sore.

I got up, had some leftover shake, and tried to make a salad with lettuce, kale, spinach, and cucumber. However, the lettuce didn't sit too well as far as taste went. Then, I vomited. I browsed social media before coming to write this. I still need to do laundry today, lol.

This has been tough, dealing with my health like this but I mean it when I say I'm not giving up. I've come SO far and wouldn't undo the benefits of this for the world. I'm just weaving my way through this journey, trying to find what works for me and what doesn't, so I can make plans for what I want for the future. I see this for the long run, the VERY long run. For life. If God wants me better, and He does, I will be, right? I think I'm just detoxing.

I'm undoing YEARS, if not a lifetime of unhealthy eating. I've been overweight all my life. All that cannot be undone, after 26 years, in a week. I will get better. I have hope. In Jesus name, Amen! One day I can inspire people, God willing. Today, I am, and always will be my own success story. :D P.S. Here is a picture from this morning...more progress, lol.

8:58 p.m. I took on water weight for sure. No biggie. I have played on Instagram, finished my laundry and folded it, fished on SecondLife and working on a chicken dinner tonight (with brown rice added to mine, lol) I'm looking forward to it. Praying to God that over time, this diet gets better. My rest day is tomorrow for healing time. I could stretch and whatnot but nothing hardcore. MUST heal lol. Self control.

EDIT: Played SecondLife last night and don't recall much else.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Lifestyle Change: Day Seven.

12:09 p.m. Eager as I was to go out and exercise before the sun rose, I needed to rest...so I slept until nearly 10 a.m. or so. I had a fruit and vegetable yogurt smoothie and egg whites with spinach, and water. Eating in the morning made me feel nauseated but I assumed it would pass.

I was out of the house at 10:23 a.m. I walked all the way to the park, stretched in between, practiced a WEE bit of running which was great (I'm self conscious about it, so it was a big step for me) I was out for about an hour before I came home to find the door locked and used my key, and couldn't open the door so I pounded on it and bursted in, frustrated at whoever locked the door. I apologized after I got a couple minutes to breathe, showered, and updated my Fooducate app which tracks my meals, calories, and exercise. THRILLED! I'm praising God! I actually burned off my healthy breakfast, and then some, and need a light snack now to hold me over until lunch. Frozen berry yogurt with nuts sounds good. Small snack. I'm doing, and feeling, so much better now.

1:40 p.m. I had a snack give or take a half hour ago and my body is telling me I need rest, so I'm gonna go do that. God bless, Jesus died, rose, loves, lives, saves! Bye all!! :D Wish me a nice sleep and blessing from God mmmkay? Amen! He is good.

5:44 p.m. I got several hours of sleep, then got up and ate a lunch of: Tuna on whole wheat buns with kale, leftover eggs and spinach. I had six triscuit crackers on the side, slightly unnatural but they have fiber, and what remained of my veggie/fruit shake on the side.

Unfortunately, I could only finish half the sandwich (I was full much sooner) and two crackers. I finished the shake and drank water. I am getting concerned as I don't want to be wasteful. I stuck it in the fridge but I hope to get around to eating it.

The irony of all this healthy eating is that I get physically feeling worse than when I was eating my processed foods and have now have all these issues: headaches, nausea, getting full TOO quickly(I mean within in several minutes of eating kind of quick.), less bowel movements (TMI, sorry) It's not like I can afford a doctor and if I do go, on the polk healthcare aid thing I signed up for, it has to be a life-threatening emergency. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or what I have to change. I eat all my meals, nutritional, with water (I stay hydrated) and get plenty of rest. Somebody help?

6:30 p.m. Jen's WONDERFUL advice was women's one-a-day vitamins. I need vitamins. April's Mom said to call an ER nurse for advice. Jen has free vitamins at the house so I'll wait to try those and see how they work and see if problems persist before calling, lol. Jesus rejoices. God is able!

6:57 p.m. I took a bathroom break and then took care of cats. Coming to the end of the day and almost time to try and go to bed early...in an attempt to not be up until early morning hours again. Gotta get that nutrition and fitness, yo!

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Lifestyle Change: Day Six.

Five kittens were on my legs last night, lol,
10:56 p.m. A bit late to the party but I can explain. Starting at around 7-8 p.m. last night, I went on a 24-hour fast (plus accidentally a couple extra hours) I spent my day sleeping and letting my muscles rest, although I did stretch a bit. Insert a grocery shopping trip with lots of healthy foods which I could save to mention when I get around to eating them in the coming week. Around dinner time at 9ish I had a tuna on two whole whole wheat buns with cucumber and kale and a banana. And water, of course. It was in total, after adding it up on this app Fooducate which I LOVE, around 400-plus calories.

That doesn't sound like many calories out of an entire day but no worries, after some sleep, I will be eating normally again. Three course meals and a light healthy snack in between each is the plan, plus more exercise. :D My body is a temple, people. I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to get my health back, and my weight, and my life, and be thankful to God in Jesus name, Amen!

I've been looking up a lot of success stories lately and it's been REALLY motivating. This past week I've bounced back and forth between a half inch on my waist (water weight, maybe) and last I looked it was on the lower end. I'm not expecting quick results, after all, if I don't give up, this will be a natural (in every good manner of the word) part of my life.

Granted, it's early (I'm barely into my first week) and I still have self esteem issues about the lower half of my body (mainly hips and thighs) but I don't need to go too deep into it. It's not important. I am just succeeding, not later, but now, at taking care of the body God gave me. Hallelujah! THAT is a daily reward. :D

12:05 a.m. Midnight snack, but a healthy one. Call it my cheat day XD I mixed in Dannon plain yogurt, frozen mixed berries, blueberries, and a banana in a blender. It came out DELICOUS!! Liquidy, but I stuck it in the freezer to freeze. My body is quite fortified tonight and Praising Jesus! :D I'm heading to bed for good rest before the morning workout. God bless, Jesus loves, lives, saves! All glory, praise, thanks, and all things be to God on the highest forever and ever in Jesus name, Amen! God is able! End of updates.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Lifestyle Change: Day Five.

10:15 a.m. Just got back from another morning workout and a cold shower, after having a veggie salad with chicken, which I could only eat half a bowl of (about a cup, I think). It's day five and I think I lost a half inch off my waist which is excellent. I had a slight headache while doing it though and my stomach hurt so I'm hoping to fix that. In the mean time, I need to change my focus, and this is the hardest part, from weight loss to wellness. God grant it in Jesus Name, Amen! Wellness workouts and eating and showers. Good mornings.

We're supposed to go grocery shopping today and I can't wait to pick up some greens and veggies. Maybe even a bit of tuna and brown rice. It has been a long time coming. As for food, if this is going to be in the long run, it has to
be food I enjoy eating. Chilled veggies, which I made myself eat, are not something to stick to for the long run, note to self. Jesus rejoices.

Another thing to tell myself, this is not a temporary diet. I keep calling it a diet but this is what I hope to be a lifetime one. All wellness. No more junk. Praise the Lord. I just take this wellness a day at a time and soon if God wills, it'll be a first instinct. These mindsets work. :D Again, Praise the Lord.

I'm changing the title from a soda fast to 'lifestyle change' which is more suitable. The soda thing is so done that I want it to be a permanent end, not a temporary one. P.S. I'm almost out of pictures of my nieces.  XD

10:40 a.m. Oi I am feeling stomach sick. This is not good. I need rest. In other news, Dad says I'm headed back to Mema's soon. Being away from home when switching to a new way of eating can always be a challenge so pray I don't fall into temptation. There is no ride yet, so I don't know what date. Just know it's coming soon. XD Jesus rejoices. I'm out.

5:08 p.m. I slept until a couple hours ago and still feel a bit sick. Rick isn't doing too well so O doubt we'll be grocery shopping today. Tis okay. God still has a wonderful plan for my life. :D

5:26 p.m. I needed to get a little sodium, and eat something. I was worried when I tried to take a couple bites of chicken and couldn't even swallow it. (I hadn't eaten since this morning.) Then I went for my favorite snack, smartfood popcorn (no alarms, I only made half a cup and only ate 3/4 of it) It's 160 calories per one cup and 3/4 serving so that's around 60 calories. Sweet. :D

Thursday, May 21, 2015

NO Soda Fast: Day Four.

9:47 a.m. At this point, soda is nowhere on the scale of my cravings. In fact, not much is. I am, however, concerned about my health...and I don't mean this in the most positive way. I have been advised by many websites to drink at least half my weight, in ounces, of water a day which for me is a little over a half gallon. The problem is I don't stop drinking...until I drink too much. I get light headaches, I had heartburn and salivating last night but I assumed this meant my body was still getting toxins out.

I don't have much health options in this house until grocery day. I'm down to eating just lettuce and water at this point because it, green beans, and parsley, are the only non-processed foods I can find here. I am forgoing meat on this diet (Vitamins, I know, shake me if you must) but I am de-toxifying
as well as losing weight. No bread stuffs, including pasta which was a staple of my diet before. I will allow corn or flour tortilla. No refined sugars, fats, or grease. Absolutely cut the processed foods, including my beloved white cheddar popcorn. ALL chips. NO soda obviously. I'm even considering that sparkling water should be a treat only, since it can cause gas to build up inside. I know what you must be thinking...a diet like this is good for the temporary, but I think it'll just make you go back to the old ways, binge eat etc.

You would be right.

EXCEPT this is the stepping stone to a lifestyle change. I will, after more detoxing, like to gradually introduce more nutrients such as meats, beans, whole grains, brown
rice, fruits, vegetables, PURE ingredients with no more processed stuff etc. And I WANT to stick to water or down the road, very VERY natural fruit juices. Less deprivation will come later and when it does, I want to eat healthy.

Now, coming back to the beginning. I got my morning start with a lettuce salad and water before getting out to exercise. I now notice my little water bottle, which was fine before, is 'too' little for me and I need to upgrade to a bigger one for longer walks and more fitness. I experienced a bit of tiredness, nausea, my muscles were definitely working. (One thing about water is it takes away the usual muscle aching that can come after working out so much) BUT I am toning up in my lower half, just as my goal stated. :D

On top of walking, which today was about 20 minutes, I do about 10 minutes or so of aerobics and whatnot, then take an ice cold shower which feels great and is great for the muscles. I'm still going to take a rest, I like Sabbath at home, so no exercise on Saturday (today is Thursday.) It's my own chosen day out of the week. I think the Bible lets you pick a day out of one week since I didn't see it list a specific one, lol.

For the short term, my goal is to detox and get back down to 160-170 pounds. For the long term, I seek to be a healthy 120-130s pounds which, God Willing, should be the result of a lifestyle change and not a temporary diet.

10:08 a.m. I just had a bathroom break, then splayed a whole bunch of images of my nieces all over this lovely entry. :D Also, I've been taking progress photos day by day (except for on day one, lol) and I'm not ready to publish them yet but this is just a heads up.

4:18 p.m. Had a LONG nap. In one dream I kept trying to screenshot a concert between Britney Spears and Jonathan Rhys Meyers singing  'I Love Rock and Roll.' Lol Crossroads. Wouldn't that be something.

April has been worrying about me and this diet. I can't reassure her about my cleansing and what needs to be done, and we highly differ on the science of what is in food and what it does to the body, which means we could not come to an
agreement. I may be stubborn, but I'm still going through with this. she supports my diet, but not the way I'm doing it, oddly enough...which is just a fruits, veggie, and water diet, which SHOULDN'T be so bad!

Her concern, founded, is I'm not eating enough which is a true statement. I've state time and time again, we have VERY VERY limited healthy natural foods to eat here and I'm eating what I have and only when I'm hungry, until I'm full (which is on a half cup of food, can't help it, my body does it, and if greens, a couple cups.) I do need more food, I get that. That part is what she takes and uses for her outlook on the future, however, which is NOT accurate.

I will be eating more, certainly, once we have fruits and vegetables (we also disagree where she wants frozen/canned and I want fresh on top of all these other disagreements.) I also plan to incorporate more TYPES of food into my diet later on, God Willing, when I feel the body is done cleansing. Beans, brown rice, tortilla, whole grains, fruits, veggies, and so on.

Yes, it looks abnormal when I'm not touching the processed foods (and we also disagree on what processed foods are because to her every food.) She says even washing fruits and vegetables make them processed whereas my definition is 'a food stripped of it's nutrients and replaced with foreign chemicals made in a lab.'

ANYWAY, we are having chicken tonight and I agreed to it, but not without a few caveats. I don't want any salt on it, unless I add it myself, and I don't want it cooked in oil. She was willing to agree to it but I think it made her only more worried about me. I don't know. I cannot please the woman and even she is not asking that I change myself to please her. I'm doing this for me. Water and vegetables in no place and time or setting are dangerous to your health and any science that says otherwise is probably a liar.

4:37 p.m. I'll tell you one thing, I need more salt...possibly more research on it but salt and water is good for me and the body so there is a change I'd like to make. :) Just not overdo it, okay? SO! Less than 1500 mg of sodium but not more than 2300, around a tablespoon.

6:29 p.m. I came back from a walk and sat on the steps a while, thinking, and then headed inside when the storm started. I sat out there for what felt like about ten minutes before April came out and we had one of our discussions, and this time it went productively. :D

I get 40something for my weekly nutrition budget and I got educated on what is okay or not okay to eat. They want to keep me in check and not going to the extreme, good friends. ^^ I know I complain a lot about April but I love her to death and don't know what I would do without her in my life. Amen, in Jesus name, God is able!

8:44 p.m. I had a cup of the white cheddar popcorn, after learning of its nutrients, and watched Modern Family...then I got into a foodie site where it tells the nutrient value of foods I love which
will be VERY useful in the future. I am making a full meal tonight, so I am eating. Baked chicken with lemon juice, herbs, and garlic. :D Green beans and herbs and mashed potatoes from scratch. The chicken each has more or less of a tablespoon of vegetable oil since there is no healthy alternative in the house yet and the mashed potatoes have some but I'm only eating a small portion ANYWAY.

This should make my body happier, especially with more sodium since I've really lacked it the past couple days and it was dangerously low. God willing, this will all be done the right way, in Jesus name, amen! Woot!

9:34 p.m. Finished a full healthy meal and feeling...interesting. P.S. Watched Modern Family.

9:37 a.m. I admit I got a little crazy before, so here's the deal. I'm fine only cutting the following:

  • Processed food.
  • 'Bad' sugar.
  • High sodium (over 200 mg) high calorie, high sugar, high fat and saturated fats.
  • Sodas, except sparkling water now and then.
  • Chips, except for white cheddar popcorn ONCE in a while, small portions.
  • Greasy foods (I prefer foods cooked in olive oil)
  • Hamburger.
  • Fast food, obviously.
BUT everything else is fine. Once June 18th hits, I can start drinking ALL natural fruit juices and whatnot but I'm waiting until then..for now sticking to water. 

Tonight's dinner will make a good meal the next few days.

1:08 a.m. After April didn't return a couple hours after leaving, I got on the computer and FINALLY, though it took hours, got a month's worth of entries added to Seize. God bless, Jesus loves, lives, saves! Bye!

Things I didn't mention: Having a dream of finding some diary in Joan Crawford's house in a time past the Mommie Dearest days, drama ensues. I also joined some dragon game I cannot recall a couple nights ago.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

NO Soda Fast: Day Three

6:44 p.m. Today I was doing a lot more fitness and drinking MUCH more water, also more bathroom trips and more research was involved into health and wellness...hours of it. I've been relaxed. My skin is smoother. I feel a headache 'trying' to happen but gee, since I had all that water it just isn't happening, lol. Same thing happened with heartburn today...tried to happen and didn't. :D If that makes any sense.

Yesterday I was already seeing results and feeling better as well. I've been eating more greens, more portions, NO snacking...not even popcorn and mostly skipping lunch.

Here is me yesterday, JUST two days of lean eating and water only. you will remember my photo shoot I took before my trip to Mema's, in the same shirt, (right) THAT is what I call fast results!! Why WOULDN'T I be sticking to this for the 31 days?!

I feel fantastic and my mood is improved. I will say today I am a little bloated compared to yesterday, but not deterred. I HAVE changed my diet and my portions, eating around 1/2 cup to a cup at meal time (which is about twice a day) before feeling satisfied and water holds off my appetite LONGER. We do need more greens. I've had lettuce, green beans, and a little parsley. I have also had pasta (about a half cup, more or less, mixed with hamburger and pasta sauce) which needs to leave my diet in the future as well. I DO want a lifestyle change..fruits, nuts, beans, veggies, grains, water....the whole shebang. I want to be a success story. 

No more desserts or late night snacking, artificial sugars, fats, greasy foods...but I want to try 31 days first and see how it goes. I have high hopes that if the next 28 days are successful, I will push for 60, then 90, God only knows. :D And He's watching over me, smiling, he he. 

I told April I wanted to buy more veggies next grocery trip. She advised frozen veggies and canned fruits. I'm wary to go frozen because it costs more, and I won't touch canned fruit. Do not like it a bit. Plus it's my body and I'm controlling what goes into it. Not to mention, my budget is 20 bucks and I need stuff for the things I want like SALAD and tuna albacore which takes out of the budget as it is before the cost of frozen food (which is LESS food, though preserved, than buying fresh and as I said, more expensive.) I need bulk, enough to last the week, or more. I do get her point, but I know me. I can handle this.
I get where she's coming from because she will call out past experiences like "Well, we tried getting some but it just rotted." BUT that is because it was not a sole part of the diet, being consumed every day. I plan on making this my core diet which is a different circumstance entirely.

More ever, off topic, I do not own a scale. I will be measuring weight loss progress, goal wise, in inches taken off my waist. I'm at 35 1/2 and the goal is to get to a 33, or even a 32, in the month...if possible. I'm also trimming glutes and thighs. Everything above those body parts, aside from flabby arms (don't get me wrong, I love myself) is in a normal adequate shape. I also must say I am more relaxed when resting and attempting sleep but the DOWNSIDE is I have to interrupt that with many MANY bathroom trips. More soon...speaking of which. God is able to do above all we ask or think, in Jesus Name, Amen!
7:09 p.m. I'm doing that thing where I argue in my head with April again. I apologize. It's like I'm trying to prepare for every possible argument we may have when it comes to the grocery store and she'll want to exert control and I would push back, begging to have this opportunity to control what is going in my body and being permitted to make that choice. Although granted such a victory would not come without being guilted but still, I'll get over it. Best case scenario, I get allowed to do it and nobody minds it...we move on.

Back to the fitness thing. I have been doing walking and making up some of my 'own' exercises which work the legs, stomach, back, and hips and feel GREAT!! :D Still hoping I stick to it.

Also, a happy SECOND birthday to my beautiful niece, Harmony, who you see all over this entry. Told you I'd be posting pictures taken at Mom's until they run out. God willing, all these entries get copied into Seize, which is WEEKS behind, and I have them preserved. I still have money set aside to order it when it's finished, although that, again Lord Willing, may take a while.                                                                                                 7:41 p.m. I brought Carlo in. Also, in a moment of weakness, I caved and had a snack. A few ounces of popcorn, probably less than half a cup. I think I'm okay. XD

11:28 p.m. Well, I just got up from my 'nap' and I feel both hungry and bloated. This is probably still that point where I resist temptation and keep drinking MORE water (I slowed it down before sleeping so I could actually SLEEP) but wound up needing more. I AM at a point where my need for water has increased, where I've taken in more than usual and my body wants to keep that UP. Pretty awesome and pretty hard at the same time.

1:54 a.m. Although it may sound extreme, in the past two hours I have had around a half a gallon of water. :) (coupled with numerous bathroom trips, lol.) I've been spending more time researching the benefits a water-heavy diet and learned so much...including not to worry if it does not cause sudden weight loss BECAUSE that could mean the water is trying to cure something else more important than my weight and that is GREAT!

As this rolls onto day four, and pray God it will become WEEK four as time rolls on, I end the updates here. God bless, Jesus loves, died, rose, saves! All glory, praise, thanks, and all things be to God on the highest forever and ever in Jesus Name, Amen! God is able!

Monday, May 18, 2015

NO Soda Fast: Day One.

12:34 p.m. My day has begun and I had this weird dream about Jonathan Rhys Meyers. It was a dream of a movie of his, shot 'documentary' style as if it was following his life, but it was very dramatized and parts of it were very sad, going over drinking and yelling in public. On a brighter side, it also talked about what at first looked like his fiance (not Mara, but Jessica De Gowe) planning a wedding but at the end, it turns out her SISTER is the one getting Married when she stops by her work at this high floor of an office building. Don't recall much else except me trying to go on Facebook afterwards to talk about it, once I could get past my login issues, lol.

No doubt it was because of something awful and saddening and all sorts of heartbreaking that DailyMail posted about him yesterday.

Donny had knocked on the door two times already since I woke ten minutes ago. In a rush, I told him we aren't awake...I wasn't really 'up' the first time and Rob and April are very much asleep.

12:42 p.m. I have no idea what I'm going to do today. Watercolors sound fun. I just don't know if I'm up for more creating after days of work although I REALLY want to be. Rob bought me five bucks in Lindens, SecondLife currency, which I will pay him back for. I bought enough fishing supply on there to last a REALLY REALLY long time. XD I wouldn't mind fishing today.

Also, everyone stay with me on this, because I am experimenting and hope I stick to it. Starting today, I am on a soda fast! I CAN'T have soda...sparkling water is fine...but no soda. I want to see what this will do but consider this day one, mmmkay?

12:49 p.m. After some searching, I see this means the Soda Fast goes from now, if successful, until June 18, 2015. Pray for me in Jesus name, amen! P.S. I love these two shots from Mema's. One has the foreground in focus and the other has the background in focus. :D Jesus rejoices. I say those two words A LOT LOT LOT in my head. lol. I was gonna write them at some point, ya know? Better late than never.

1:10 p.m. I was just researching this soda thing and it sounds like this fast could have it's benefits, especially if I replace it with water. :) I am a chronic yo-yo dieter. I have my months of health and portion eating with exercise and then other with piles of food and low exercise (gaining back whatever I lost before plus extra) WELL! Now that I'm at the biggest I've ever been in my life, ever, and slowly losing the fit of SIZE 13 shorts which used to be perfect, I'm declaring a change. I have to make a list though if I'm going to commit. Let's just call this also a 31 day diet.

For 31 Days:
1. No soda.
2. No seconds.
3. No sugary desserts. (I'll allow popcorn.)
4. Limit eating TOO many times a day.
5. Drink more water. LOTS!
6. Exercise at least 3-4 times a week.
7. PORTIONS! I've gotta re-train my mind to accept that a cup of pasta is actually quite filling since my own mind has learned to manipulate myself otherwise.
8. No candy or jalepeno cheetos.
9. Only eating when I'm hungry.

If I stick to this for a month, there's no way I won't see a difference. AND if I hit 31 days, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see myself go for 60, and if I win, 90. I guess that can be my reward. There's gotta be a goal right? The goal is to stick to it, get better, and then get to say I'm ready for another 30 days, and another.

If you really want to get down to endgames I wouldn't mind comfortably being a size 11 again (which I have been before for years), which

means dropping at least 2-2 1/2 sizes to fit into these REALLY tight jeans I have which I notoriously rarely fit into unless I'm having a better body at the time.

If you want to get religious about it, literally, giving up indulgences and over eating honors God, which is the most important, not only would it be honoring God with my behavior but honoring God with the way I use the body He gave me. Jesus rejoices. Just...it's about time.

I'm on that 'day one' feeling with the expectation, confidence, and over enthusiasm. Words are easy but we'll see just what kind of person I'm made of if I really stick to this and over come temptation, and God willing, not just for now but for the long run as well. P.S. I got a birthday party I may or may not be attending, Harmony's,
and possibly Drake's afterward, in the coming months so THERE lies a challenge. But there's no sense in worrying about that far ahead. :D Finally I have something decent to write about huh?

I'm thinking of recording my progress somewhere other than online and sticking it where I can see it. Keeping a journal would be nice if I could find it...

On an unrelated note, I desperately need to get around to doing laundry. I'm out of some clean clothes and will give myself until at least 4 p.m. to do it. So! Let's hope that goes well today as well.

Now that I've come to the end of pics taken at Mema's, I can start posting the adorable ones I took at Mom's house. ^^ Just of the kids and God, are they adorable!! God bless, Jesus loves, died, rose, lives, saves! Bye!! P.S. I'll try to behave diet wise on a date as well. XD God willing.

1:56 p.m. Randomly decided to install the Timehop App and whatnot. Really wanting to paint. ^^

4:34 p.m. Two and a half hours pass and I finished my painting. I have to take Mrs. M her mail and then I'm on God's good humor from there. Maybe eat...maybe exercise. Both hopefully. God bless, Jesus loves, lives, saves.

5:11 p.m. I'm an hour late but I got my laundry going, praise Jesus. I've watched some Modern Family and had ONE hot pocket with water..and thinking of a popcorn snack. Just one bowl. :) Fitness another day as it's getting late already.

8:31 p.m. My laundry got washed but still needs drying. The power went out while I was looking up videos on watercolor tutorials and I made a pasta dinner and only ate about a cup :) With cold water, which I'm glad for backup jugs because the water went out briefly as well.  Watching Modern Family and kinda unhappy about Hissy's newest plot to get food: Eat from the dirty dishes in the sink. By no means is this cat starved but she is almost always hungry!! And I don't like being on all this duty to watch for it.

8:37 p.m. I'm a little frustrated with the cats, mood killer having to babysit like this, and I'm one point from demanding someone lock one of them in the bedroom. Just give me a break, you know?

12:00 a.m. Midnight. What on earth?! I played online, still drying my clothes, and just finished re-editing the first chapter of The Dream Doctor. Yes. That again! It NEEDED IT SO BAD! OMG! The cheese...so much cheese. I have a headache but I'll live. April writing fan fiction inspired me to write again by the way so I hope to stick to it. God bless, Jesus loves, died, rose, lives, saves. Good night! Good night! END of updates!

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