Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Being Myself.

7:51 p.m. Tsk, tsk tsk. Stayed up late again...but I had fun doing it. I made a one minute video, which due to a glitch in Windows Live Media Player, was unregrettably cut to 20something seconds of me just being genuine with far as how I look when I'm alone listening to music.

SPEAKING of which, I've been THINKING of joining on the #DearMe project. My voice is boring, slowish, and severely monotone (not that I love myself any less for it) but I could probably work around it. I don't have a captive audience anyway.

I woke up at 5:45 p.m. and spent the next hour hanging out with April, and watching the Walking Dead, before making cheeseburgers...and hanging out with April. Living with friends is amazing
because I have so much more of an opportunity to interact with others...a far cry from the distance I tend to make when with family...because I'm so different, there's a lot of small talk, and we don't have the same interests. Again, not that I love me or them any less for it. They are good people.

8:21 p.m. I've been using Tumblr to find new blogs and it's turned out successful so far. Even if I didn't follow some of them, there were a lot of good reads. My favorites tend to be vintage-themed or daily life blogs. I find a lot of UK University students XD Not that I mind.

8:48 p.m, Rob took forever making brownies but they are done!

9:13 p.m. I just finished brownies and had the random urge to look up 'Never Been Kissed' (the movie) tag on Tumblr. It's all in good fun. :)

9:57 p.m. I joined Wattpad and posted the first chapter of my finished novel. Click the link to view it or see the whole book from the link at the top of the page. I will probably go back and edit the whole thing once again because I couldn't read it without frowning. Something seemed dearly missing from it.

10:32 p.m. It took about a half hour BUT I FINALLY got the Dream Doctor page updated with the latest chapters, the main change being that I changed a main character's name from Dr. Turner to Dr. Meyers. I still see myself going back and re-editing the whole thing. It wouldn't be so bad, though.

10:50 p.m. Hooray for Misao Owaka, the world's oldest living person, who just turned 117 years old. May Jesus rejoice.  :) I find centenarians, especially the oldest ones, fascinating. I can only imagine meeting one and learning all the stories they had during some of our biggest moments in history.

11:16 p.m. There I go...looking up supercenarians. :)

11:55 p.m. April is going to bed and so ends my hanging out with her. I discussed the possibility of shaving my head to a buzz, for how it would feel, but I'm unsure. I'd probably be interested in owning a wig first so I can have hair..and the feel of buzzed...whenever I want. I don't know. It's up for consideration. I'm full of smiles today, inside, so that's something. Definitely sticking to being myself.

12:12 a.m. Still thinking about the #DearMe thing but not sure what I'd say. The whole 'be yourself' topic on it is, though true, overdone and kitschy where I want to be unique.

Back in high school I was a loner, (most were sure I was a goth) smelly, and I absorbed myself in daydreams, as well as talking to myself. I had very few friends as well. I daydreamed of being beautiful when I become an adult when really, I already was.

I wasn't big on makeup and I wore too much black (from what I hear) and the popular cheerleader girls were nice to me...I think because my sister was popular but anyway. Guys didn't care much for me..again it was mostly back to the smelly thing.

Mostly looking back on those days. I just got through it, day by day, and lived with it. That's really all I can say is that, poor hygiene aside, I couldn't change my high school experience and how I was treated. And the way I acted in life wasn't threatening so I doubt my high school self would have changed it if she could.

I'm much better at advising my younger self through typing, rather than bumbling and speaking, and again I'm incorporating it. A good central theme would be to tell my younger self, after all that she endured, 'it gets better' because it really, truly does. I find God and get through mental illness. I come out being in a place where I'm happy right now...which I am. If I do a video, I hope that's what it's about. :D

12:59 a.m. April is still up but I think there's still not much going on. Good night. God Bless. Jesus Died, Rose, and Saved! He Loves You! I hope more will accept Him as Lord and Savior. Good night all. Mwuah! P.S. I've been on the internet too much.

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