Translate

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Acceptance and Moving On.

11:09 a.m. I've spent the past couple days crying less and less, and sleeping a little easier. I miss her. Rob was glad I finally ate something and reminded me that it's okay to grieve, but not to let it stop me from living my life. I've come to God with a lot of stuff about it...most of it I cannot write where a public eye will see.

Mom brought me to her house, only to announce she was leaving for the weekend. Nonetheless, I stayed with the rest of my family and enjoyed their company...really enjoyed it. I think God wanted me to heal this way. I love them so much.

I still think of her every day. Rob said things will become more natural soon. I won't forget her, but perhaps then the thoughts won't be so excessive. I'm doing okay. I am moving on, forgiving everything, and I want to enjoy my life.

Speaking of family, the vast majority of the household is going to a friend's baby shower. I'll be here with Grandpa, DJ, Maranda, and Drake...depending on if they are leaving to.

A couple funny things happened yesterday. On first arrival, Mom gave me what she thought was chocolate. It LOOKED like what it likely was, a tiny cigar, and I was unraveling the thing and Mom was certain it was chocolate, not joking, because it smelled like it. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there breaking leaves off of it and I split it in half and showed her. We tasted it, which as you would guess, tasted like picking dead leaves off the ground and licking them. It took some convincing for her to get that it was NOT chocolate. Hahaha.

We watched Untold Stories of the ER and later, after she left, Netflix movies like Baby's Day Out and Wayne's World Two.

I slept the easiest I have since I found out about Jackie. Again, I give the glory to God because I seriously needed that rest I was depriving myself off.

In other news, internet, Two Dots game on Android, and not much else. It's a rare quiet moment right now...sometimes it is loud and chaotic. People are silly. I do thank God for life and I am glad God has me here another day. I love my family very very much. Turn to God today, see the sidebar, because you never know if there's another one.

11:24 a.m. I still don't know when the funeral is. I'll find out when I need to know. I miss you, Jackie Bird.

Mom was talking about taking me grocery shopping at the end of the weekend, just for anything extra I want at Sams Club. I didn't ask her to, I think she just wants to do something nice for me and I really appreciate that. I wonder if the house is always like this, two babies crying right now at the same time, breaking the silence. Drake and Harmony both, in two different rooms with an open door separating them.

12:15 p.m. I'm watching Honey We Shrunk Ourselves with DJ and Drake. :D Also making macaroni. Just another reminder to myself from Rob....not to rush the 'moving on' thing because it will make things worse. Just let it happen naturally.

12:51 p.m. All full. Maranda came home with cookies on top of that. We're still chilling out and watching the movie.

2:44 p.m. We watched that, then El Dorado, and now I've started the first episode of The Walking Dead. Going all the way back, homie!

Jesus loves us, by the way. Lord have mercy and God forgive me. Also, April called to check up on me. I'm happy to say that I could honestly tell her I was doing better. Having my family around has really sped up the grieving process. I needed people, not laying in bed all day, lol.

2:50 p.m. DJ turned it off. Ah well.

2:54 p.m. Putting the Walking Dead on my netbook anyway. DJ is making, was making, odd noises. Like a garbled version of "eeeeEEEEEeeeee" and I called him weird. He said I was weird. I said I make noises when I'm alone but he does it around people, therefore he is weirder. I don't know where him and I get that part of our personality, because Mom is normal. I likely get it from Dad, who has his moments as an odd fruit himself. XD Love you, Dad.

5:18 p.m. Watching the Netflix thing on Death Row inmates. Something in me couldn't watch the Walking Dead. Oi.

8:43 p.m. When that ended, I watched...am watching Crossroads, and feeling tired. The family is loud enough, chaotic, and I'm feeling the effect of my tiredness. God Bless, Jesus Died, Rose, Saved! Loves and Lives! Good night. Signing off. Not much more to report for now since I'm shutting the netbook DOWN.

You May Also Like: