Sunday, January 25, 2015

I'm Trying To Make It Different.

1:12 p.m. I had a series of weird dreams, which I will not divulge into, before waking up at 10:59 a.m. in the morning. I skipped SecondLife and went about my other daily internet checks over the next hour, including Youtube subscriptions. I finally updated Seize and tried to do my laundry...except someone was already using the washer so I had to wait. Let's see how the day develops. God Bless, Jesus Loves, Lives, Saves. All Glory, Praise, Thanks, and all things be to God on the highest forever and ever in Jesus Name, amen! God is Able! P.S. Neopets seems to be mostly down for today, lol. 12 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. . . .John 1:12 

2:40 p.m. Watching "Obsessed" on Netflix and doing a lot of self reflection with this OCD thing.

  • I want to do more with my day, and my life.
  • I want to afford a regular therapist.
  • I wish driving didn't terrify me so much because I can't do it.
  • I eat junk food when I don't need.
  • I want to do and try new and interesting things.
  • I need to learn exactly what a God-filled life entails and how to live it. I wish I had what it takes for that but often I feel like I'm not obtaining all of it.
  • I want to see my family but I hate being in an environment where there's violent, sexual, and profanity-filled chatter on a casual basis...where it's treated as a good fun time. That's not with my family, just the people living with them right now. So I stay away unless I absolutely need to be there for one reason or another. I love them, forgive them, but I can;t stay around it.
Deep breath.

But I am getting healthier as far as Obsessive Intrusive thoughts go. That's a major plus.

2:53 p.m. I wrote something else but the computer mysteriously crashed. I wanted to say these felt like a letter to God, which helps. I know to say to no to the thoughts I don't want, and mean it. If it's too much, I can replace the thought, which works. I really should be putting this in the Illness diaries but oh well.

3:35 p.m. Took a nice, longer walk. April said they are building a hotel and recreation place down the road from us where that nature park is. She wasn't happy about it but I can't wait. I've been to this area so many times...I wonder what it would be like.

Photo is my own.

4:07 p.m. Web stuff...and waiting for the chance to do my laundry.

4:42 p.m. Still have not been given the chance to wash them. Since washing takes an hour, and drying over another, I should probably just try again tomorrow. I don't wash in the dark since it's a bit of a walk to go borrow the washer so...yeah. I'll live, though. Wondering what I should cook for dinner tonight. Still watching Obsessed.

4:48 p,m. Donny dropped by to let me know I could use it, I think, but I'm just told him I'll wait until tomorrow. It's already going on evening and whatnot. lol. I'm no less thankful though.

5:52 p.m. I made some pizza and read movie/actress trivia online. Wouldn't mind a nap. I did put on Crossroads but now watching it...much.

6:00 p.m. Both cats are inside and I'M going down for a brief nap. God bless, Jesus Loves, Lives, Saves.

8:45 p.m. I'm finally up from my nap.

9:52 p.m. Snacks and Youtube....mostly. About ready for bed as well. Sigh. Not much else to say. God Bless, Jesus Loves, Lives, Saves. All Glory, Praise, Thanks, and all things be to God on the Highest forever and ever in Jesus Name, amen! God is Able!

EDIT: Showered and tried to sleep next to a cat. lol. I listened to Christian radio and didn't fall asleep until probably after 11 p.m. 

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All Glory, Praise, Thanks and all things be to almighty God on the highest forever and ever in Jesus name, amen. God is able to do above all we ask or think!

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