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Sunday, November 30, 2014

Everyone is Up.



That moment when she thinks your mp3 player is a phone. :)
9:00 a.m. It's 9 a.m. and everyone is up, one by one, awakened by voice after chatting voice. I slept comfortably..and safely....in Aaliyah's room. Her bed is breaking, however. :( Anyway, I got music going in my headphones to block out the film, The Hangover.

9:16 a.m. Just checked the news and the new social networks. Lately, I've been wanting to make a Youtube list of songs I want to download....LEGALLY...PAY FOR. :D Much better.

10:41 a.m. I made my playlist and played with the kids. For once, the cold subsided and I took Harmony outside to play. :D It is a big smiley kind of day. The week just keeps looking up...I'd like to write but this environment, in a 24/7 rambunctiousness lifestyle, is not the place to do it. Too tense.



10:45 a.m. Annnnyyywaayyy....yup!

10:58 a.m. God is with us. I have tagged my entries in the past week, finally. I've been meaning to do that. I also need to get off the computer and do something else. :) Possibly draw if I can clear stuff off the table. It gives me more life to discuss than what's going on on the internet. :P

Loving the new Gospel and Country songs I found. I was meaning to listen to more Gospel music. I record them off a Gospel radio station and listen to them so this is great. :) I love Christian radio. Praise the Lord!! God Bless, Glory, Praise, Thanks, and all things be to God on the Highest forever and ever in Jesus Name, Amen! God is Able!

I generally, since I don't listen to much radio anymore (except for said above and blocking out car music with my mp3 player), check the Billboard Top 100 and give them a listen for new songs to enjoy. :D Happy day. Sunny, not as icy cold. :P God is able to do above all we ask or think!

11:06 a.m. After listening to the playlist lol.

7:12 p.m. I spent the day watching various movies and drawing, long story made very very short...and more recently one more collage.

7:36 p.m. Listening to my playlist. DJ is watching Yes Man with Jim Carrey and I'm just chilling and editing my blog. Clarissa went home earlier. She was definitely glad to. Zackary went home as well. That little brunette girl was here but she must have gone, too. So, Aaliyah is left! YAY! Praise Jesus! Things might be quieter now....

8:01 p.m. Listening to music and talking on OkCupid. There's yet another bonfire going on.12 Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. Proverbs 18:12

8:15 p.m. Joe is making chicken and fettucini alfredo. YUM!! I still have to ask Grandpa to take me to Peace river Center tomorrow or the next day. Preferably with Mom there to help.

8:19 p.m. Done and done.

8:58 p.m. I had some pasta and watched Yes Man with the family. Then I tried to watch The Hours but I heard it was boring. So..watching Without A Paddle.

11:22 p.m. So....I got another drawing in. :D Movie over, and listening to relaxing ocean waves, except a sweet baby nephew is wailing at the top of his lungs over it. :P

11:24 p.m. Baby is quiet for now....now I hear piano and the ocean waves on Netflix.Still have to take my medication as well and be up in the morning to go to Peace River...who knew I'd ever say that without being sad or angry? Past Chelsea would be shocked but I'm not ashamed of that. I love that I drew a lot today instead of spending so much time, as much as usual, on the computer. God Bless, Jesus Loves, Lives, Saves! All Glory, Praise, Thanks, and all things be to God on the Highest forever and ever in Jesus Name, Amen! God is Able!

11:36 p.m. I just had my medication so thumbs up there...been wanting to look up sketchbook inspiration before bed.

12:31 a.m. Showered, dressed, and ending updates. Adios! Felt like drawing but kinda changing my mind..thankfully...

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Doing Better Than Yesterday

Clarissa's looking for kittens which got under the neighbors house.
1:22 p.m. I started my morning by bonding with Clarissa, the blonde kid whose name I finally remembered, where we discussed our weird methods of eating certain foods: Ravioli, oreos, nuggets, hot pockets, donuts (we dip them in milk) and it was amazing how much we had in common! We were also eating Ravioli.

I also went bike riding with the kids and took some photos. Clarissa, I keep wanting to say Catlyn but its not true, and she crashed her bike into the fence at the tennis court. We rested and she drew on the court with a rock (because it's like chalk) then we tried to go home and she fell off the bike.

I loved catching this candid moment. See where she was drawing?
The kids are bike riding here.
My cousin Zackary insisted I take this photo of him.
So we walked.

On the way home, Mom, Joe, and Jen and the others were coming and she took the car home. She hurt her shoulder, face, pinky, and leg. At home she used an ice pack and I edited photos. Then I played Neopets AND HERE I AM!

April also sent me a random message: "i am addicted to creole and it is all your fault and i love it"

I had a terrible time sleeping between 10 p.m. and 3 a.m. last night. I slept on the couch which has a middle section caved in. Fell asleep to a Gospel radio station.

Then I got up and moved to Aaliyah's room, after moving stuff off her bed, and I was SO relaxed. I also remembered my medication, Praise the Lord.

I also sold my headphones to Zackary to Zackary for five bucks. O.o

3:25 p.m. I watched 21 Jump Street and just hung out in the living room while the kids played. Watched Supernatural (I'm almost finished with the ninth season), a little of that documentary about the elderly hearing some music which made them come alive, and I'm watching Forrest Gump with Harmony.

There's three slices of cake since yesterday. XD Harmony just had some, lol.Mom just got home. Grandpa was wondering where she went.

10:15 p.m. I watched Forrest Gump, A little of the Core and Katy Perry, then hung out with the family. Oh, and tried out a little Youtube on the tv. They eventually started a fire, I made ramen, then played with Harmony....we watched a few episodes of the Mickey Mouse Club. I also got my laundry done. Now, I've watching Monsters VS. Aliens with Harmony, Clarrissa, and Aaliyah. Having a good time.

12:10 a.m. Harmony is back to sleep...I had pizza and have been gaming on Neopets. Also took my meds. I need a shower, too. End of updates! All Glory, Praise, Thanks, and all things be to God on the Highest forever and ever in Jesus Name, Amen! God is Able! God Bless, Jesus Loves, Lives, Saves.

Friday, November 28, 2014

It's My Birthday But...

8:50 a.m. I'm pretty sad. I went to bed sobbing, slept until 8 a.m. ish, and woke up to the baby crying, DJ not getting the milk because he'd rather sleep and two piles of dog puke on the floor....all just on waking up. I've holed myself up in Aaliyah's room, frowning, not really wanting to deal with the world.

The whole fiasco last night really knocked me down a few pegs. Having to babysit for hours and then being given another child to watch, without notice of how long it could be, to stay up for hours with baby wails...wchi made me burst into sobs because it was almost midnight.

DJ decided to take Maranda black friday shopping and insisted she had to go with them to pick out his baby clothes. I've been unhappy because their baby priorities are terrible. They just leave the poor kid with whoever is there to enjoy a cigarette/beer break out back Put the beer bottle and cigarette down and have fun with your baby who needs you for the love of God in Christ Jesus.

At least they're with him this morning.

I'm sorry for the sour mood. Like I said, I'm being distant and mostly not wanting to deal with the world right now. -_- I miss being home, where it's a quiet and normal existence. Emphasis on the word quiet.

I'm not as social here. Joe says it's a two way street and he's right...but that doesn't help when I'm ignored when I actually do try...and get like, silence. I had more conversating...than normal..with those who aren't here as often. Oi.

Now I see how April felt days ago...lonely...yet wanting to hole myself away. It makes me feel like I've separated myself from any chaos or stress...mostly. Knowing it's still there does make things a bit stressful...if not, depressing.

It's my 26th birthday. The day has to get better..I mean, it just started.

In other news, I have reconnected with Caleb after a couple years. Thanks God, and the thirty day Single woman's challenge, for inspiring it. Positive...and just hoping it stays that way. I think I may have dreamed I got back together with him...but this is a chance for closure where need be. Like I said, it didn't end very peaceful last time so this is good.

I re-activated my livejournal account...just because. I don't mind.

9:07 a.m. Talking on FB did help. A little :P I should probably eat something and shower.

9:26 a.m. Everyone is up this morning...except Joe I think. I just had a hot shower, gradually feeling a bit better. I really have to talk to April about the way she treated...me. -_-  I had to get it out of my head because I've been thinking it since yesterday and it would only contribute to the 'down and out' mood of today.


I forgive.

9:34 a.m. No, it didn't make me feel better

9:41 a.m. The day has to get better. Who has a bad day on their birthday. Seriously? I am thankful for family...though they don't speak to me or acknowledge me often when I try to talk to them. Seriously, when I'm sitting among them ---I can't even.

I went back to Aaliyah's room to cry. I'm sorry...I'm just all kinds of depressed. I'm mad at my best friend, I can't talk to family, (and they are both my entire social circle) and I just can't deal. God is here though.

I was gonna go into this long thing about how I choose to feel this way. It is a choice...a foolish one at that. At the same time I can't help when the painful truth breaks my heart. And with my heart, it tends to feel worse just because it doesn't want to be broken. This day has to get better soon.

By the way, there were three piles of dog puke, not two. :/

9:55 a.m.  I listened to Foolish Games by Jewel and added it to the profile..seemed to suit for the most part. I should probably give this social thing another try....

10:13 a.m. Had a slice of chocolate cake first thing in the morning....ah..what it is to send the happy feels to your brain from dessert. Then, I had Thanksgiving leftovers. Grandpa and Jen wished me a Happy Birthday which boosted my mood more than you know.

I have every desire in my heart to forgive all the while I'm breaking through, and down, the wall of anger.

10:24 a.m. I sent a message to Rob..but I don't think he's awake. I let Mom know that we need to pick up my prescription and my cake. What a sentence.

10:37 a.m. Mom wished me a Happy Birthday which was nice. :D

10:45 a.m. I love April, I do. This just needs to change. She has to want to change...this.

11:01 a.m. Watching Yogi bear with the fam. :)

1:13 p.m. April and I are talking things out and the day is, indeed, getting better. Especially with all the well wishes!! :D



This was my favorite, from Helen, sent last year.

1:23 p.m. Print screening...and appreciating the hectic rambunctiousness of my family a lot more than I did this morning.

1:27 p.m. Lol at the email. I was active as a goth teen, since then I've saved it from an inactive account purge for fun and browsed the photos of my teen years in the photo album.

2:41 p.m. Leaving with Mom soon to get meds and cake. Oh, and the Santa was out in front gathering donations so Prayers of blessing for his collections today in Jesus Name! His bucket was so stuffed that I watched him cram it down to fit room for more donations. :D God is good, people!

4:07 p.m. I went with Mom and got the meds and cake, and some tea, and we came home. 


There was the little blonde girl, her Mom..I think it's her Mom..DJ, and Zack. I wanted a corner piece, so did DJ, the little girl, and Zackary. So right away the corners were cut off. The kids also sang Happy Birthday for me.



Meanwhile, DJ tried to use a cake cutter, since I was butchering it with a steak knife, and the cutter BROKE OFF!! 


We all sat and had cake. The verdict was that it was very, very, sugary. 


Afterwards, I put it in the fridge and edited some more photos.

4:14 p.m. Added photos to this blog. And..I let Rob that I'm staying a few extra days (until Monday or Tuesday) to get my medical records released to prepare to apply for disability. Pray for me in Jesus Name, Amen! All Glory, Praise, Thanks, and all things be to God on the Highest forever and ever in Jesus Name, Amen! God Bless, Jesus Loves, Lives, Saves!

9:34 p.m. I watched tv with Mom and hung out with the family, then went with DJ to the store for some stuff. After that I hung out by the fire for a while and took photos...and enjoyed the night sky.

Caption this moment.


 

9:45 p.m. I can't believe all that's happened today. The day DID get better. The week has been God-blessed and people-filled. My complaints, sorry for them, will not change this wonderful gift that continues in my life and begs not to be taken for granted. The week just looks like a wonderful life. Thanks God. God Bless, Jesus Loves, Lives, Saves. All Glory, Praise, Thanks, and all things be to God on the Highest forever and ever in Jesus Name, Amen! God is Able!!

Thursday, November 27, 2014

The Past Two Days And My Thanksgiving




6:13 p.m. I'm going over the next couple days...by the way, Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

I started out my morning on the 25th by doing a drawing, a beautiful shot of a woman in a white shirt in charcoal. Then, we made went to my psychiatrist. 


Mom and I waited in the waiting room and I looked at dog and baby books. I didn't really learn too much more than what I realized about myself already..but she did give me a Abilify sample, and subscription (which I have to get later since I forgot my ID) 


Then we went to Publix to drop off my prescription and pick up a couple other things. Then I came home a bit and hung out with the kids, and took pictures outside.



Then we went to Feltons Grocery with Zackary, that dude whose name I can't recall, Mom and Joe and picked up more stuff. Walmart and then the gas station. Then, we came home. Joe made quesadillas and I played with the kids.

I went to bed soon after, woke up on the 26th and drew again...it was the highlight of my day. Just home with the kids and Maranda...quite a bit of babysitting but I did draw again..and at the end of the night, I had two little girls making collages and drawing. I also stayed off the computer. :D Oh, and I watched Gone with the Wind on television which was awesome.



One of the women who lives here, I tell you, I'm horrible at names, gave me this blue plaid shirt and all I can think is now I can dress like a Winchester.



Today, thanksgiving, was nice. We watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, I spent time drawing, they cooked. And then we had everyone in the kitchen giving thanks and saying grace, and then we all ate until we were full. Harmony was put to bed, Jen left, and I'm hanging out in her room. We also watched some marathon on 'Where the Child Stars are now.'





Biggest shocker, after close to 25 years, I found out I wasn't actually born on Thanksgiving like I thought but a four days later. :( This is one day before my 26th birthday. Wow.

Also, Mom offered us some Chickens for eggs but when I asked April, she quickly, and very very grumpily, shot me down about it..though Mom would pay for feed. She said we couldn't afford the vet bills. Who pays a 200-300 vet bill on a chicken, though? O.o I don't know, but when I asked, she got more upset This was probably the hugest downer for my Thanksgiving because she woke up in a sour mood at me and was doing the thing where she snaps at me just because 'she just woke up' (as if I was supposed to realize that all the way across town at nearly 2-3 p.m. In the afternoon) and feels entitled to acting that way towards me. I can't even. Breaks my heart....Oi. Just had to say it.

Otherwise, Thanksgiving was fine...despite the sour phone call. I'll move on. I forgive in Jesus Name, Amen!





6:45 p.m. Did my dailies. Checked the news. Feeling the digestive effects of dinner. Ouch.

7:17 p.m. I've been procrastinating on starting to take Abilify. Sorry...




P.S. Editing photos for the blog. Yay! I was really wanting to write today. After over four years of writing journals which Chronicle the almost daily events of my entire early twenties, it's an urge to keep going...cause it's amazing. I keep thinking if someone wants to take them all and make it into a book more blessing to them because that's four years worth of stuff. O.O


7:58 p.m. Photos edited..and I could really use a computer break..I guess. All Glory, Praise, Thanks, and all things be to God on the Highest forever and ever in Jesus Name, Amen! God is Able!

Other tidbits:
I gave thanks during our circle for the help they gave me to let me see them as often as I do when I live close to fourty miles away. God Bless, Jesus Love!
I'm due to see my psychiatrist in about 2-3 weeks. 

My birthday in tomorrow. All I ask for every year is a cake.

They did not make Buckeyes at April's. Ah well. :/

11:11 p.m. God, Jesus Christ, I'm gonna start bawling. I spent several hours watching Harmony..then took my meds. Then DJ and Miranda leave me with the baby and I know I have to stay up for hours and wait for them to get back and all I want is some quiet and some sleep and I...I'm just breaking into tears.

The baby is bawling and I CANNOT HANDLE THHHHIIISSSS!!!!!! Somebody take this off my hands!

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